Pinned
⤷ hi everyone! i figured it was time to make a master list cause ive wrote a couple of things and wanted to make it easier for people to find stuff! if any of the links do not work let me know!
⤷ credit to @ioveartfilm for the banner ♡
updated 10/31/2024
Constantly thinking about how when you play as durge and try breaking up with our precious vampire because you’re worried that you’ll kill him, Astarion says:
“Cazzador used his tortures to strike terror into me, but I’ve rarely been more afraid than on the night when I feared Bhaal had claimed you for good”
“But I trust you won’t kill me. And if you do, then I’ve gotten sloppy, and probably had it coming”
This man is risking his own life so he can be with you and he’s comparing the fear of losing you to the 200yrs of torture by Cazzador..oh my bad, losing you is worse “I’ve rarely been more afraid”
astarion’s character development is incredible to me because of the sheer amount of detail and accuracy. he doesn’t change entirely as a person after he kills cazador— he mentions himself that he keeps thinking about it, even though it’s all over. which makes sense, since 200+ years of trauma isn’t going to go away after a night.
but after killing cazador, and giving up ascension, he’s so much lighter. the usual harshness he has in his tone of voice is dulled, if not entirely absent in certain dialogues. he still has a long way to go in terms of healing, but he’s finally secure enough to start that process. he’s still him, but a weight has been taken off his shoulders, so he’s finally able to live without constant hyper-vigilance, looking over his shoulder for danger.
even the way that he refers to cazador changes: in almost every instance prior to completing his personal quest, he speaks cazador’s name with hatred. viciously. afterwards, he says his name like it’s just that. a name. someone that’s gone, and inconsequential, who can’t hurt him anymore.
i think my favorite callback is that, in the conversation you have with him after long resting, whether you romanced him or not, he thanks you for talking him out of it. now that he’s out of that hell, he’s able to see just how much continuing down that pattern of abuse would have changed and ruined him. specifically, the last line he says is “this is a gift, you know. thank you - i won’t forget it.” which is the exact same line he says after you allow him to drink your blood way back in act one.
as someone with ptsd and some pretty specific trauma, astarion means quite a lot to me as a character, so i’ll always admire just how much love was put into the way he grows over the course of the game. and, of course, this is a huge reason i can never bring myself to ascend him. he’s easily earned a spot amongst my favorite fictional characters ever and i cannot stress enough how glad i am that a story like his exists.
they call me George on account of my W Bush
