Why did Language Lessons Sirius wait five years to propose?
@intellectualblonde asked me this question in my comments, and I’m so glad she did because I have thoughts!
The truth is, Sirius literally never even thought about marriage. Not because he didn’t love Remus enough to marry him, but because he didn't consider the institution of marriage as necessary.
In Sirius’s world, especially when he was young, marriage was a contract, a business-type arrangement between purebloods. He knew, for instance, that Bellatrix wasn’t “in love” with her husband but married him because he was a good match that strengthened their families and statuses.
To the Blacks, marriages were nothing more than strategic alliances made legal, often between cousins, and he wanted no part of that.
When muggles got married, he assumed they did so for religious reasons.
Sure, Sirius had seen others get married, but even then he thought it was more for practical purposes. Yes, Lily and James were in love, but Lily was pregnant and her parents were muggles so 🤷♀️
He thought alphard and jonathan got married because the priestess at delphi became available and there would be some cool magic involved.
He didn't think Remus, who had outright rejected his mother's religion, was all that interested in the convention of marriage in any way, either, and Sirius didn’t think about it much, if at all. They were happy and committed to each other, and that’s all he wanted or needed.
But then, they visited Hope and Lyall, and Sirius saw Remus looking at his parents wedding photo with an odd sort of expression. Sirius knew that expression. He knew every crease of Remus’s forehead, every purse of his lips, and every shadow in his eyes. Remus had even looked at Sirius with that expression before. It was yearning. And oh. Oh. His sweet, shy, too-nervous-to-say-it-out-loud love. Maybe Remus wanted that, too.
Of course, Sirius would give Remus anything he wants. But he needed to be sure he was interpreting this correctly. So Sirius started dropping little crumbs into conversation, trying to figure out if it was really something Remus wanted.
“Wow, Fabian's getting married,” Sirius said one day, holding the wedding invitation they’d just gotten by owl post.
“Oh, that’s nice,” Remus said, sipping his tea without looking up from the Daily Prophet.
“Don’t you, uhh, think that's a little old-fashioned?" Sirius asked, watching Remus carefully.
“Not really," Remus replied, and Sirius wondered if he was only imagining the wistfulness in his voice. "I think it's a nice way of showing your commitment."
And over dinner at the staff table a few weeks later:
“I've always wondered why people who aren't purebloods bother with marriage,” Sirius said.
“What brought that up?” Remus asked.
“Oh, nothing, just thinking,” Sirius shrugged. “Just all our friends getting married all of a sudden, I guess. Fabian, Mary, my cousin Andy. It’s like a scourge. A marital scourge.”
“No it’s not! It’s nice!” Remus insisted. “Merlin, Sirius.”
“I’m kidding!” Sirius said quickly. “It’s just that my family always treated marriage more like a terrifying Unbreakable Vow than anything romantic."
“I think it can be really romantic,” Remus said quietly. “If it's the right people for the right reasons.”
“I love you, Moony. And you love me.”
Sirius glanced sideways and saw Remus’s cheeks turning the faintest shade of pink under his freckles, and Sirius not only wanted to snog the daylights out of him, but made up his mind, right then and there, to ask Remus Lupin to marry him.
But first, he must make his way through Remus’s bulleted list of anxieties and figure out a way knock each down, one by one.
