Pouring dust on him in Cinecittà

I do wholeheartedly believe Wes Anderson is a sick sick freak. I like his movies but I definitely think this guy has like a hidden room in his spacious french apartment that he slips into quietly each night and it is just filled with tiny little doll replicas of all the actors he's ever used in any of his movies and he puppets them around and mimicks their voices and shit. and sometimes he'll text Owen Wilson pictures of his little doll with a comb or something from an untraceable number and pair it with like "see how I take care of you Owen?" and then the following day Owen Wilson will find him at the service table and go, "Geez Wes look at this," and Wes will pretend to be all concerned and horrified but there is this calculating almost eager look in his eyes that unsettles Owen Wilson. and the next time Wes is having a little soiree with all his actors, his beloved beloved actors, maybe Owen Wilson will accidentally get lost on his way to the beautiful bathroom and find that little room and see all those dolls and his throat will hitch with horror. And before he can call Bill Murray or Adrian Brody to look a dark silhouette will appear in the doorway and Wes looks sort of resigned when he says, "I see you finally found my secret, Owen," and Owen Wilson will try and pretend that he's fine with it but they both know better. and Wes will go (the look in his eyes back again) "We both know this can't get out, right?" and he'll grin very suddenly and Owen Wilson will laugh along very nervously and leave the room and eat some brioche and when the evening is over he will rush over to his Prius and frantically click his keys but over the cobbles on the beautiful beautiful street there is the sound of footsteps. and tears are running down Owen Wilson's cheeks but he can't say a word and Wes, emerging from the shadows, will gently touch him on the shoulder and say, "look, I'll drive you to the airport, huh?" and Owen Wilson will try to refuse but they both know it's futile. and, halfway through the drive, Wes Anderson will smile and say, "I'll miss working with you" and then perfectly jump and roll out of the car, wiping off his corduroy pants, while Owen Wilson's Prius swerves into a local patisserie, bursting into flames

listen you boutta have the thickest smoodie of all time, where is your liquid? your ice? weak ass aesthetics, try again

smh they leave the strawberry tops on… might as well leave the gotdam banana peels on

hellabitcoins

u can eat strawberry tops… & recent studies are showing banana peels are healthy n nutritious for u:…. The turntables

n im sure the outside of a coconut is mad high in fiber but im not bout ta eat woodchips cause of no govermence scienticians

Finally got a comm done and its Lawrenitez <3

Lowtax is our Archduke Franz Ferdinand

watched conclave and found myself a sacrificial lamb of a man

watched conclave and loved it so much... here's some quick lawrenitez for the soul

conclave fanart

WHY DOES POOB HAVE ME BLOCKED LMAO

poob DOESN'T have it for me. they've had ENOUGH of me

I beg my kidnappers for a phone, swearing not to make any calls or texts, and they stare over my shoulder, holding a gun to my head as I use my newly-freed hand to post, "So do like, dudes just buy ropes and baklavas from the same store or what lmfao like a specialty Crime Store"

One of the kidnappers says "balaclavas" but it's muffled under the fabric. I ask them to repeat and they do, their voice raspy from disuse. "You wrote baklava, that's a pastry." The other kidnapper goes "stfu" and then after a pause goes "Why would you buy from a crime store"

Then they spit roast me

I didn't wanna say this but now that someone's left this kind of comment I have to be honest: Everyone else's tags are funny but this is the only person who understood my vision for this scenario

Cartoon smartphone with devil horns and an evil grin: Well, well, well, look who's tipsy. Better use one of my rideshare apps, drunkie. Those taxi driver unions aren't gonna bust themselves! Ha ha!!

Cartoon beer can with little angel wings and a halo appearing above my shoulder as I start my car: Hi! I'm Roadie, the Road Beer! Wanna play a fun game? It's called "drink me all up before you drive past the elementary school"!

Muffled voice coming from my glove box: Uh oh, looks like we're getting pulled over! You're gonna be real glad I decided to come along!

queer people who have done zero self reflection when they see someone who doesn't look fem in their space

ACTUALLY FUCKING THO

#the bioessentialism is gross and inescapable#‘oh i’m just not comfortable around this person bc i don’t know them!’#is that it? or is it that they’re masculine presenting and you only think of non-binary people as girl lite

Love some miserable Elon in the morning

normally stuff like this feels performative because anyone can talk shit online to someone and most normal people would just ignore it and block you but in this instance its the funniest thing in the world because you know for a fact its getting to him

even the bloated miller wants him dead

Me: t.A.T.u are iconic quuer culture

Fool: ugh they were just a gay for pay novelty act set up by some dude

Me: "Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth."

ok see here's the funny thing, the homophobic member of tATu and the bi member are the same member. The one with dark hair is a bi women who loves Putin and hates gay men. The redhead is a cishet married woman and an ally.