If someone has a still life that includes chametz on their wall, what should they do with the painting for Pesach? (wrong answers only)
Pour turpentine over it so it's no longer ראוי לאכילת כלב
flush it down the toilet
eat it quick before pesach starts
cover it in tin foil (saran wrap is acceptable but only bedieved)
you attack Pharaoh with the Plagues? oh! oh! hard heart for Moses! hard heart for Moses for One Thousand Years!!!!
Sorry but the Frogzilla plague of frogs isn't actually a valid reading of the text. True, 8:2 does use the singular form of the word, but every single other pasuk in the passage uses the plural, referring to many frogs in the plural. The single frog reading brought down by Rashi refers to one frog (often depicted as large) that split into many smaller frogs as the Egyptians hit it.
The more direct reading of the text (also brought down by Rashi btw) is that the singular noun refers to an entire swarm of frogs.
best way of using she/her pronouns for g-d is when people say הוא but they have chassidish accents so it sounds like היא
chassidim out there with the generic he
I’ve been listening to the people in the apartment below me have arguments for two years now and I still can’t figure out what language they’re speaking. The best I can narrow it down is like if Portuguese and Hebrew had a baby. Is that a common pidgin combination
I just listened to a clip of this and jesus christ you fucking got it. there are like 3500 people in the whole united states who speak this and two of them are in a very fraught marriage four feet below me
(Fitness influencer bro voice): Hello, my name is King David and this is my daily routine. At midnight the Northern wind blows through my harp at the head of my bed, waking me up. I wash my hands and comb my beautiful red curls, and then I study Torah like a #boss until sunrise. At sunrise I take a moment to pray. I'm so #connected to G-d that all the birds and living creatures sing with me. Then I sit on my throne and attend to the matters of the day. I am the king, after all. After holding court, I go to visit my wives and my kids. One of my wives tries to kiss me, so I just imagine she's my dead best friend. I'm so masculine that the love of a man is worth more to me than the love of women. In the evening, I go to the balcony to look at the beautiful view of Jerusalem.
