Shes paying rent

Bean did this!!! It is HORRIFYING to step on one in the middle of the night. They feel cool and slick like dead bird. Funny in daylight, but again... HORRIFYING at night.

Come and sit by the fire. Soup will be ready soon.

OH FUCK

Oh sick

Greetings from the museum! Oh yeah!

WIZARD OSHA TIP: The wizard on fire in this image is actually the safest by a mile. Please do not roast foodstuffs over a mysterious cauldron fire; magical side effects are all but guaranteed and will only get worse the longer the cauldron has been in service.

The correct procedure in this case would be to roast them over the flaming wizard instead.

@monstrousproductions

oh no more shitposting!!! this time it's star wars as headlines!!! exciting!!!! (I have more...)

Source: ayumioyabun

I cannot stress this enough; PLEASE unmute :')

@leftnotright they were correct

my fav disaster trio <33 i miss them every day your honor

Every single week I cycle through a different coffee shop in my town and ask the barista to make me their favorite drink in a medium. I have an entire spiel:

“All milk is fine, caffeinated and not caffinated i’m game, hot and iced both work, it can be coffee or tea or anything.”

It has yet to fail me. Every time I have tried a new drink I never would have thought to try and every one I’ve had has been amazing. The true delight I’ve seen in baristas faces pondering on what to make me and the joy they have when I like the drink always makes my day and I hope it makes theirs too. It’s the little things of kindness that can make someone’s day and I feel that it helps the world be kinder. Highly recommend doing this yourselves.

Just went to a place I go to more often near work and I got a “oh! It’s you!! :D” from one of the baristas when I gave my order. Made my day :)

Update: me and the most common coffee shop I go to’s baristas and I are now friends :)

PEOPLE ARE SAYING IM AN AU OR PROMPT IM NOT A PROMPT IM A REAL BOY I PROMISE

Additional update: I wrote a good review/feedback for the coffee shop and corporate really liked my review, so now everyone in the coffee shop knows my name, knows I gave the review because my order is unique, and I was given a free breakfast sandwich in appreciation.

People really say "being forced to participate in someone's kink without consent" to mean seeing a gay dude in public. Please get real

How did the conversation around Consent go from like "don't touch people" to "anything that makes you uncomfortable is basically rape so you're actually morally good pure and righteous if you throw a fit about random people minding their own business wearing clothes you don't like" . Remember sexual liberation as like a basic progressive value? Can we try that again

mixed response from the public

Hey is anybody having trouble with those Captcha test things lately? Mine are getting kinda weird and I’m even not too sure what to click on

Hi, a few people accused this of being AI generated and I would like to point out I actually painted this— it was inspired by how fucked up AI generated captcha images look, of course, but the final result was hand-drawn. Don’t mind that I have over 200 layers on this thing haha my painting process is a disaster

I appreciate the people reassuring me in the comments so much haha but don’t worry I wasn’t upset! I found it funny + it was an understandable mistake anyway since I was deliberately trying to imitate that vibe, just wanted to clear up that it was art because I evidently forgot to when I initially posted it

Oh yeah, extra details: the rock/leaf litter textures I used for the ground are actually static grain taken from MRI brain scans I had done years ago

Achievement Unlocked:

Artificial Artificial Intelligence

You managed to mimick AI so perfectly that everyone thinks you're a fake. Whoops/congratulations!

@elodieunderglass

More deer doing deer things

That’s just what human intelligence is like

This is cinema actually

THE ALI FORESHADOWING LIKE SHE’S A WIZARD THEY’RE PREPARING TO FACE AND THEYRE WARNING US ABOUT HER LIKE BARDS.

ALI IMMEDIATELY LIVING UP TO THE BALLDS SUNG ABOUT HER.

THE FACT THAT ALL OF THEIR MAGIC COMBINED DIDN’T COUNTER HER SPELL

Are you americans okay???

Everclear is what we have instead of universal healthcare.

Wound cleaner, anaesthetic, surgical instrument sterilizer, and post-surgical cleanup, all in one convenient bottle

The best part of this video is how much Ali makes herself suffer.

some of y’all need to learn more compassion for adults who are severely mentally ill or disabled… like schizophrenics who still depend on their family members and probably always will have to, autistic people who live in group homes, people with bipolar disorder who attend partial inpatient programs, etc…. people who couldn’t get college degrees, who can’t work. not everyone is like you.

My dad has bees. Today, I went to his house and he showed me all the honey he had gotten from the hives. He took the lid off a 5-gallon bucket full of honey and on top of the honey there were 3 little bees, struggling. They were covered in sticky honey and drowning. I asked him if we could help them and he said he was sure they wouldn't survive. Casualties of honey collection I suppose.

I asked him again if we could at least get them out and kill them quickly, after all he was the one who taught me to put a suffering animal (or bug) out of its misery. He finally conceded and scooped the bees out of the bucket. He put them in an empty Chobani yogurt container and put the plastic container outside.

Because he had disrupted the hive with the earlier honey collection, there were bees flying all over outside.

We put the 3 little bees in the container on a bench and left them to their fate. My dad called me out a little while later to show me what was happening. These three little bees were surrounded by all their sisters (all of the bees are females) and they were cleaning the sticky nearly dead bees, helping them to get all of the honey off of their bodies. We came back a short time later and there was only one little bee left in the container. She was still being tended to by her sisters.

When it was time for me to leave, we checked one last time and all three of the bees had been cleaned off enough to fly away and the container was empty.

Those three little bees lived because they were surrounded by family and friends who would not give up on them, family and friends who refused to let them drown in their own stickiness and resolved to help until the last little bee could be set free.

Bee Sisters. Bee Peers. Bee Teammates.

We could all learn a thing or two from these bees.

Bee kind always.

also: the bees aren't strong enough to pull the drowning ones out, and the humans aren't delicate enough to clean them off afterwards. helping takes a lot of forms.

i taught a baking class for 12 year olds today and we made your garden variety chocolate chip cookies, but i’m a big believer in Questioning Everything and the who/what/where/why/when/how behind things, so the first part of the class was purposely letting the kids do things the wrong way, to show and explain why we do things the way we do.

“why do we bake cookies at 180 for 9 minutes when we could do 400 for 2 minutes?” -enter the godawful lump of coal with a still gross wet and uncooked inside

“why do we have to scoop out little cookies instead of doing the whole tray?” -ok well that one you can technically do if the spread is even. you just end up with one giant, structurally unsound cookie. “PLEASE CAN WE MAKE GIANT COOKIES” (we did make 1 giant tray cookie)

we talked a lot about why consistency is important, but i don’t think it really hammered home until i said “okay everyone gets ONE cookie, that’s fair, right?” and then handed out cookies of hugely varying sizes. + baked one fat lump of a cookie that still wasn’t done at the 9 minutes, vs the regular one i put in that came out charred by the time the first was actually done.

we also made a row of cookies where each one had one single differing ingredient omitted, like a cookie with no flour, or a cookie with no butter, and laid them all out on a single tray to bake together to see how each ingredient affects the outcome.

two of the little girls added cocoa to their cookie doughs until it matched the colour of each others skin to make best friend cookies, and that almost made me tear up a bit 🥺

got briefly distracted (…for over half an hour…) talking about how eggs form when someone cracked an egg and it had 2 yolks

expertly tolerated being asked how old i am (just turned 31 the other day) which was immediately followed by asking if i watched the moon landing live on tv

was so focused on keeping track of all the kids that in the end i forgot to make a cookie for myself, but it’s ok because one of the girls gave me this

tiny……….

the class went well and they asked if i wanted to do another one in a couple weeks and i said yeah, and they’re taking uh… fuck, what’s the word for inventory when it’s people?? attendance?? whatever, they’re trying to see who’s interested to get a feel of if it’d be 1 three hour class again or if there’s too many kids so we’d do a couple classes. anyways, i love the emails from Concerned Parents.

“will there be knives involved?” we are baking cookies.

“what temperatures does the oven get to/will it be hot enough to burn?” we are baking cookies.

“will there be [insert ingredient used in cookies]?” we are baking cookies.

“are you using fahrenheit or celsius?” ??????? d-does it matter?? it’s going to get Hot. (also celsius; this is ontario)

“are the ovens childproof?” no?? i’m assuming you’re asking if i’m going to let your kids reach into the ovens while i’m staring out a window in another room. i will not be allowing your children to use the ovens. they will not be left unattended. 

“why is the library baking class taking place at the high school?” the library does not have 10 ovens. the library does not even have 1 oven. the high school has many ovens.

“what if i don’t want my child to have cookies? can you let her make muffins instead?” this is a baking class for cookies. we are baking cookies.

“cookies aren’t healthy. why don’t you make [insert whatever]” do you know how many cookies i can make with a $40 budget and a trip to the bulk store? we are making cookies.

“who needs a class to bake a cookie, why not teach something more valuable?” IT’S NOT JUST ABOUT THE COOKIES, KAREN, IT’S ABOUT FAMILIARIZING CHILDREN WITH THE ART AND SCIENCE OF BAKING/COOKING/FOOD, ABOUT TRYING NEW THINGS, MAKING MISTAKES AND REALIZING THAT THE MISTAKES ARE NOT ONLY OKAY TO MAKE BUT VALUABLE IN AND OF THEMSELVES, FAMILIARIZING THEM WITH INDEPENDENCE, THE UNDERSTANDING OF HOW THINGS CAN COME TOGETHER TO FORM A NEW AND BETTER WHOLE, ALL WHILE HAVING TRYING TO INJECT A MODICUM OF JOY INTO THEIR LITTLE LIVES. SORRY THAT THERE ARE CONCEPTS AT PLAY YOU CAN’T SEEN TO UNDERSTAND HERE. MAYBE YOU SHOULD COME JOIN AND I’LL LET YOU MAKE A FUCKING COOKIE.

The flip side of “cleanse diets don’t do anything” is that if you tried a cleanse diet and you did experience a notable reduction in fatigue, joint pain, and general blarginess, you need to talk to an allergy specialist, because there’s nearly a 100% chance that means you have an undiagnosed allergy to some component of your customary diet.

This is an excellent point and I’d imagine there’s a lot of quack diets that continue circulating and getting press based on this exact principle.

Absolutely – a great many diets of the “stop eating everything except these three foods” variety are 100% trading on the fact that they’re practically guaranteed to generate some positive testimonials by virtue of coincidentally cutting somebody’s undiagnosed food allergy out of their diet.