FREAKSHOW

the group chat when i ask whos available to hang out next week

Honestly this is one of the best formatted jokes of all time.

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

@holyknuckled you get it. lterally what are we here on earth for if not to occasionally impose gastropods upon unsuspecting customers. this story is delightful

@holyknuckled like that?

oh? my god???

yeah, Exactly like that

TIL that Gothic literature makes a distinction between “terror” and “horror.” Terror is the sense of dread and apprehension that precedes an experience, horror is the sense of revulsion after an experience.

via ift.tt

Someone described the modern difference as such:  Fear is knowing that a werewolf is hunting you.  Terror is when you see it and it charges at you.  Horror is realizing that your feet are stuck to the floor.

lust is

I’d like to thank the brave sniper that stopped that final comment

This post is gonna ruin the World Tour

Hey OP? What the FUCK does this mean?

decay exists as an extant form of life

That’s a terrifying answer, have a nice day

THE ORIGINAL?!?!!!!!!!!;!!!!!!!!???

On my dash!??!

Please hold

=o

Stop shaming people for their body count

Who cares how many people she's killed so long as you love her and she looks pretty with blood on her face.

Smoking on that we'd

You know what rocks about Sam and what they’ve kept consistent for years?

Everyone around him has his back 100%. And his confidence in that doesn’t shake. He relies on people, listens to them and talks to them like they’re family, and as a result everyone is ready to back him no matter what.

Layla being his inside woman because he doesn’t fully trust Ross (and he shouldn’t) and Sam not once questioning her loyalty. Also showcasing that Sam will always try to be 2 steps ahead of people cause he doesn’t fucking play!!!

The special forces having Sam’s back and following his orders without even blinking if he needs help or to get shit done.

Even in the mundane moments, the people in the bar and the bar tender just acknowledging him and throwing up their bottles in salute. Or when we first meet him at the VA. This man has been a leader for years and a man of the people long before the shield was even in his possession.

Natasha being impressed by his prior work in the falcon program, fury immediately wanting to recruit him, he’ll even Tony fucking stark having to go to him for help in civil war, and Steve agreeing to Sam’s plan of leaving the rest of them behind while he and Bucky go to Siberia. No one else could have convinced Steve to leave the rest of them behind to be arrested, but Sam did.

Scott’s devotion to him too, Sam asked him for help and Scott didn’t even blink when he was called. He just got his ass up and flew to Germany.

It’s no wonder why Joaquin looked at him like a deity, Joaquin knew what he was looking for in a captain and never left Sam’s side.

Don’t even get me started on Bucky, we already know he puts Sam on a pedestal that no one else can even dream of reaching.

Happy 11 years of Sam Wilson day.

Teach me how to use my tumblog

I am tumbling

Do not curse me

I bet you I can find the post in that photo.

“coke is better!” “pepsi is better!” wrong. squirt supremacy.

i posted it and then i heard it

Im gonna derail.

This Is my cat. His name is Squirt.

Squirt supremacy.

SQUIRT SUPREMACY!!!

dandelions deserve more respect than they get

you say “weeds” I say “widespread non-native edible plant and early-blooming pollinator resource that is not considered invasive because it behaves politely and does not cause deleterious ecological consequences”

The dandelions aren’t gonna fuck you bro

they have and they will

I’m watching Splash (1984) which is a romcom about a guy who falls in love with a mermaid, and when she chooses a human name she chooses Madison and guy says “that’s not a real name, but alright” which seems to imply that Madison was not a name until at least the 80’s and all girls named Madison are actually named after the mermaid. thought you should know

I think...you might be right

what the fuck

Switching between these every day

"if tumblr dies you can find me on bluesky" "if tumblr dies you can find me on Instagram" if tumblr dies you cannot find me. It's over. I'm free.

I can never leave Tumblr because after years of sporadic therapy utterly failed to even approach the core of my problem some random tumblr user was like “I processed my trauma by writing a 10,000 word work of filthy fanfic erotica” and I was like “fuck it I’ve tried everything else” and now I’m 17 chapters and 20,000 words deep into an unpublishable work of obscenity and after careful literary analysis with one of the Beloved Mutuals I have come to some Terrible Revelations about my childhood and may now continue the process of Healing. Where else am I supposed to get this kind of experience. Who does this. Why are we like this. I’m never leaving. I love y’all.