With all the slippery horse lore coming out recently, I feel like I should share the most important rule when interacting with this entity: don't look in its mouth

It's full of slippery teeth!

And even a golden bridle won’t control it!

He's got a slippery horse in a slippery little field, and he feeds it slippery oats when it needs a slippery meal. When the slippery horse is tired it sleeps in a slippery barn with a flock of slippery sheep, who produce slippery yarn. It slips into your dreams by night, the slippery little mare, just to fill them up with horrors for a slippery little scare, and it laughs a slippery laugh as you wake up with a scream, then erases all your memories of your slippery little dream. You can summon up the slippery horse to take it for a ride, and it moves so very smoothly with its slippery little stride. On each slippery little hoof it wears a slippery iron shoe, but all too soon you'll realize that slippery horse is riding you.

Sufficiently advanced shitposts are indistinguishable from witchcraft.

wouldn't it be fucked up if your URL was just your actual name

You mean it’s not?

Mine is.

If someone yelled "Stag!" on a busy NYC street I would 100% turn and look.

wouldn't it be fucked up if your URL was just your actual name

You mean it’s not?

we are pitting bad bitches against each other for gladitorial entertainment

Let’s be real here, both of these women were plagued by depression and disease most of their lives… They’re both brilliant, but this isn’t two bad bitches taking out their earring to rip out each other’s weave. This is two poor little meow meows smacking at each other before they collapse from radiation poisoning and a brain tumor, respectively.

I’m still putting my money on Skłodowska-Curie. She’s got that dog in her.

it's "altar" guys pls im begging you

And the past tense of "cast" is "cast." As in "I cast a spell last week." Please I die a little inside every time I see "casted" in either an occult context or a TTRPG context.

Alright, my commissions tab on Ko-Fi is reopened. Offerings are the same as they were when I closed them last week. If you tipped me over the weekend, please feel free to message me for a reading or custom spell/recipe.

If you're out of the loop, you can read about why commissions have reopened early here (Tumblr post) or here (more recent Ko-Fi post). The TLDR is that I've set a goal of $1,000 total to help pay the debt we're racking up for Owlet's vet bills and for all the travel we're doing for my partner's dad, who also just passed.

Please, again, do not commission or tip me if you are in a tight financial situation. This goal is to make things easier for us and avoid paying more interest than we have to. We'll be okay whether I hit the goal or not. Instead, please consider reblogging this post (or my pinned post) to send it further.

If you have questions, please feel free to DM me or send an ask.

Thanks, everyone.

This meme is a MURDER ATTEMPT.

I am absolutely fucking serious. The original meme, without the big red denial, is someone's attempt to fucking kill people.

There is NO SAFE DOSAGE of pennyroyal oil. Even Mother Earth News says there's no reason to use pennyroyal essential oil for ANYTHING, even topically or as a fragrance, for fuckssake! That should give you some idea about how dangerous it is!

Pennyroyal tea, plant matter in hot water, is a traditional abortifacient. It is *incredibly* dangerous, induces abortion by bringing the body close to organ failure (and frequently pushing the system right over the edge, because dosage is impossible to meter), but I would drink a gallon of it before I took a half-teaspoon of pennyroyal essential oil.

Two teaspoons, taken across 48 hours, has successfully killed someone.

Three teaspoons taken as a single dosage killed the consumer within THREE HOURS.

There is NO SAFE DOSAGE! FOR PENNYROYAL OIL INTERNALLY! NONE!

The person who made this meme is PURPOSEFULLY, ACTIVELY, trying to get desperate people killed!

Pennyroyal oil contains pulegone, which is highly toxic, particularly to the liver. Ingestion can lead initially to gastrointestinal distress such as nausea, vomiting, and abdominal pain. Later on, it can lead to failure of the liver and kidneys, resulting in bleeding, seizures, multiple organ failure, and death.

There is no antidote for pennyroyal oil poisoning.

- straight from poison control

Listen, if you're gonna do spirit work, ESPECIALLY out in places like graveyards, you HAVE to wear mismatched socks. It confuses the spirits into thinking your steps belong to two people, thereby granting you protection from tricksters latching onto you or following you home. It's basically veiling for your feet and is an absolute MUST or you're doing it wront. Being alone is the #1 way to get possessed soooooo yeah mismatch your socks and be safe!

How dare you tell people to trick spirits. They are people just like you and me and deserve truth, even if your fragile little meatsuit comes to harm as a result. Maybe if you can't handle spirits on their own turf, you should keep out of the cemetary. Jeez, I didn't know you were such a vitalist.

Not to mention that wearing mismatched clothing or clothing inside out is protection against the Fae. You are appropriating Faery culture.

FIRST of all, this tip is protection from TRICKSTER spirits. Counter-tricking is fair game, and cemeteries are for the living too! I'm tired of getting called a "vitalist" for wanting to walk through the graves without being harassed 🙄

And SECOND, everybody knows Fae peoples love to share their culture. So even if this WAS from their culture (which it isn't btw), it's fair game and not closed.

Well First of all, Fae only love sharing their culture by kidnapping you into *their* realm. That doesn't mean that outside of their realm all magics can just freely be shared. You have to be initiated by being Faery-led, so it's semi-closed.

Second of all, TRICKSTER spirits, as you so disrespectfully call them, are to be protected against with bells made of brass. Not socks? Dunno where you get your info from but you might wanna check again

I'm sorry did you two just say tr****er out loud like that? That is a SLUR. No wonder you feel the need to protect yourself from the spirits, they know they have no friend in you.

Saying trickster is a slur is faephobe propaganda. Some fae *are* tricksters and to deny that is uhhhh not a good colour on you, hun.

Also, if you don't even feel comfortable typing the entire word out, maybe you should stick to the basics of witchcraft for a while longer. Do a candle spell or something, make a jar ♡

Just because I'm a faggot doesn't mean it's okay for you to call me one. It's about respect sweetie. I totally respect the Fae, and their culture, which is why I won't touch it with a 10 foot pole, because that is appropriation

Oh, I'll show you a spell jar *frantically grabs all my strongest curse ingredients*

Ummmmm, you guys do know that the “F” word isn’t something you should be saying, it’s like the “N” word - with or without the hard r. I don’t care if you the “cool mortal who gets invited to the revels under the Hill” or if your Fair Folk friend said you could say it around them. It’s not our word to use.

If either of you really respected their culture you would call them something like the Fair Folk, the Good Neighbors, the Lords and Ladies, etc.

I too want to be a part of the new witchblr wheel of the year entry, "this practice is not universal/fuck you yes it is."

Since the basis of this argument seems to be (as far as I can see) some people really finding value in a practice to the point where they assume it's universal, I propose:

As a celebratory holiday activity we all share one practice we personally found to be useful. Then we pretend that means everyone has to do it, and are bad people if they don't want to.

I'll start!

All witches must learn energy reading before they are able to cast protection magic. It's impossible to cast protection magic without first being able to do energy readings. I know this is true because this is the order I learned them in.

I’ll join in! All witches must learn how to break spiritual oaths and vows made by others before they can take any such oaths themselves. You can’t really know how to structure an oath well until you’ve had to negotiate the dismantling of a few.

Source: I was spirit doctoring before I was initiated or oath bound so that has to be the way it goes for everyone!