thank you for supporting him

I lied I'll keep this post up

Joke between me and a friend

i’ve been told by various european friends that the most american sentence i’ve ever said is “sophomore year of college, some friends and i road-tripped thirteen hours to florida for spring break.”

and now i can confidently say this is the most guy-who-lives-in-paris sentence i’ve ever said: “today i was cycling to meet a friend at buttes-chaumont and i went over some cobblestones and my baguette got launched out of the bike basket into the middle of the roundabout”

@derinthescarletpescatarian I need an Australian sentence now.

Once I was on an eighteen hour train ride into the city and the complementary tea service was down because the train had hit a kangaroo on the way up and broken their hot water system.

I think you can get both more broad and more specific at the same time I was going to walk down to the milk bar for a snack but there's a magpie in the tree by the roundabout that swooped me last week so I don't want to risk it

I got swooped by a magpie walking out of a hospital once and I couldn't stop thinking about how funny it would be if she'd injured me and I'd had to turn around and walk back in.

i've never been swooped by a magpie but i do have a scar on the topside, and underside of my finger where i was bitten by a cockatoo as a toddler.

Cockatoos are such bastards.

I have a lifelong petty hatred of kangaroos because when I was a toddler, one stole my biscuit at a wildlife reserve.

a llama munched on my mom's hair at a petting zoo 30 some years ago and to this day she hates llamas

Horses on the farm used to eat my hair when I was little but that's different because that's just how horses treat their friends because horses are unhinged animals

He makes me go sicko mode

everything. cost money

stop this

everything. cost money

stop this

everything. cost money

stop this

Reblog to let your followers know that despite your current obsession your previous obsessions still exist and are simply lying dormant until they awaken and strike again

never drawn las nevadas before 🤯✨

old schlatt stuff ft Wilbur and Tubbo :]

its just embarrassing when you make a fandom related post and it doesnt get any notes like okay. so no one want to play tuoys with me. no one wants to play with our little guys together. okay thats fine. yeah its cool... puts my hands in my jacket pockets. kicks a beer can that was on the side of the road a little

It's so nice being on tumblr because you don't even have to make your own post but people would still follow you anyways if you're good at rebloging posts they like

every day i wake up. tom dawson is there

tumblr and discord changing their ui just enough to be noticeable within a week of each other, 1 million billion neurodivergent people found dead

i go on discord. the icons are tiny now. i go on tumblr. the icons are massive. i kill myself

dream making dsmp jokes is just . MY CULTURE IS NOT YOUR COSTUME