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starvoiddream

Batman: *Whispers something in Bat!sib’s ear*

*Batman leaves*

Nightwing: Oh my god, what did he say to you?

Red Robin: Did he say you were benched?

Bat!sib: Worse.

Nightwing: What?

Bat!sib: He mumbled and I didn’t hear.

Nightwing & Red Robin: *Facepalm*

starvoiddream

Bat!sib, dropping their ice cream on the floor: This is sadder than that time Tim lost his spleen.

Bruce, whipping his head towards Tim: You wHAT—

*The next day*

Bat!sib, cuts their hair too short: This is sadder than that time Jason made Bruce choose between Him and the Joker and Bruce still saved the Joker.

Bruce, sobbing: I’m begging you to stop.

Jason, With scissors: It’s about to be even sadder.

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starvoiddream

Bat!sib: It’s really muggy outside today.

Tim: If I go outside and all our mugs are on the front lawn, I’m going to kill you.

Bat!sib: *Sips coffee from a bowl*

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starvoiddream

Bruce: So what’s been on your mind lately, Bat!sib?

Bat!sib: I wanna take probiotics and antibiotics at the same time and have them fight inside me.

Bruce:

Bat!sib: I wanna see who wins.

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starvoiddream

Bat!sib: Ok, we gotta get through this locked door. Bruce, quick, give me your credit card!

Bruce, who could very well pick the lock in 1 minute: Here. *Give his card*

Bat!sib, pocketing the card: Cool. Jason, kick the door open.

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starvoiddream

Dick: What are you doing here?

Bat!sib: I could ask you the same thing.

Dick: I live here. This is my apartment.

Bat!sib: I should probably ask you a different question.

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starvoiddream

Dick: When I said ‘bring me back something from the beach’ I meant, like, a seashell.

Bat!sib, struggling to hold a seagull: Well, you didn’t fucking say that.

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starvoiddream

Bat!sib: It’s pretty cold outside, wanna hold hands? We should stay close.

Conner, blushing: Okay.

Tim: It’s fucking summer.

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starvoiddream

*Preparing for a gala*

Bruce: There are seven chairs and ten people. What do you do?

Dick: Bring three more chairs.

Jason: Have everyone stand.

Bat!sib: The most important ones can sit.

Damian: Kill three.

starvoiddream

Bat!sib: Did you know that you can never say ‘bubbles’ in an angry way?

Jason: ...

*A few minutes later*

Dick, walking in: Why is Jason screaming ‘bubbles’ on the roof?

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starvoiddream

Bruce, holding two pictures: One is your room, the other is a garbage dump in the Philippines. Can you tell which is which?

Bat!sib:

Bat!sib: ... This one is the dump?

Bruce: They’re both your room!

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starvoiddream

Tim: Hey Dick, can we take the skin off the furby?

Bat!sib: We want to make him a God. Once he is free of his sinful flesh, he can begin the path towards enlightenment. He will take care of us.

Tim: And we want to hack his circuit and make him self-aware.

Dick: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that ever again.

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starvoiddream

*During a battle*

Batman: Splitting up is bad idea at the moment, it is much safer if we stay together.

*Notices Bat!sib and Kon, who came to help, very close together*

Batman: Except you two. You need to separate.

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starvoiddream

*On patrol at 4 am on a school night*

Bat!sib, swinging around the city: Making may way downtown, walking fast.

Batman: BAT!SIB!!

Bat!sib, swinging faster: Walking faster!

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starvoiddream

Bat!sib, eating cereal: Hello again, we really need to stop meeting like this.

Jason, who just came out of his room in his safe house: Maybe we would, if you stopped breaking into my safe houses, this is the fifth one!

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starvoiddream

*Bat!sib and Tim fighting about something*

Bat!sib: OH YEAH?! WELL, YOU’RE ADOPTED!

Tim, just done with shit: We’re ALL ADOPTED!

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starvoiddream

Bat!sib: What if we inverted our initials?

Dick: Gick Drayson.

Jason: Tason Jodd.

Tim: Dim Trake.

Cass:

Bat!sib: ...Oh Cass.

Cass: ...Stupid game.