Painted Shadows and Make Believe

Goodbye what the fuck

EDDIE DIAZ 8.13 | Invisible

cannot stop thinking about chris's shy hopeful "you'll be my dad again?" like goddddd

so okay. he went with his grandparents to get some space after a trauma. that's probably actually helpful at first. but then.. weeks start to go by and his dad hasn't come to get him or told chris he needs to come home. and then he starts to get inundated with snide little comments from his grandparents (who he also loves!!) insinuating eddie wasn't/couldn't be a good dad to him, which chris then interprets as them saying eddie doesn't want to be his dad anymore. which, in chris's mind is definitely a thing that happens sometimes right? like sometimes your mom decides she doesn't wanna be your mom anymore and just leaves in the middle of the fucking night. so here's this fourteen year-old thinking he literally drove yet another parent away and his grandparents aren't doing a fucking thing to dissuade him from that notion, in fact they're actively encouraging it!!!! like just when i thought i couldn't hate them any more than i already did..

something something about the difference between helena saying "you loved ballroom dancing. i know you did. you took home every trophy," to which eddie responds "i did love it. until you and dad sucked out all the fun and made it all about trophies"

versus how buck is all proud and loving and gushing when he talks about eddie and the tire and "eddie wouldn't do anything illegal. eddie has a silver star"

i cant quite explain it but the way buck is proud of eddie is just different.

okay but eddie coming back to LA and then him and buck talking about how now that he and chris are back maybe it’s time for eddie to start focusing on what brings him joy and then eddie asks if buck would want to go to a ballroom dance class with him and buck says sure and they end up dancing as a pair and eddie just lets himself have fun with dancing again and he always has fun with buck and eddie is trying to help buck and they’re both smiley and giggly and everyone probably assumes they’re a couple and eddie just being so happy and then boom eddie feelings realization

Helena calling them "the Diaz Boys" and not including Eddie and then Ramon jumping in with "The Diaz Men".

But Chris isn't a boy or a man, he's a TEENAGER. Helena is babying him and Ramon is making him grow up and Eddie just wants him to be Chris!

Ramón correcting it to men gave me flashbacks to ten year old Eddie and it filled me with rage

The strand being back when he’s finally taking control back from his parents ohhh 911 hair department I could kiss you

do yall think is necessary for buck to look so fucking hot all dirty and sweaty from doing yard work ??????

LMAOOODJSKSKDKS ok fair @the-buck-diaz

maddie is messy as fuck. she asked buck if he was in love with eddie, took a picture of him minutes later and sent it immediately to eddie. and, eddie, of course, thought this picture was the most beautiful in the world and put it as buck‘s contact.

Okay but the thing about the way Eddie told his mom off is that that this is Eddie choosing joy. He wasn't cruel, he was gentle, but he was also honest with her.

He had every right to be angry at them. Chris hates chess. Chris made himself sick he was so anxious and didn't think he could tell them that he hates chess. But instead of yelling or being angry, Eddie chose joy. He chose to take his kid back and make sure he didn't feel that way again.

Eddie went to his parents house and he told his mother that Chris hates chess and she immediately got defensive – "No he loves chess. He's so good at it." Eddie could have snapped at her, he could have yelled at her for that she hasn't learned a damn thing since he was a kid, but he didn't. Instead he told her "I didn't like ballroom dance because you and dad made it about winning instead of having fun."

And when she tried to tell him that he could have gotten a college scholarship Eddie turned that around and said he "I could have gone to college anyway but he didn't want to do that and that it was his choice." And he said it in that gentle Eddie Diaz voice.

She said that he's a driver like it's a bad thing and Eddie just smiled and said, that yeah he is and right now he's a get away driver. He kissed her on the forehead and said he loves her but she's not Chris's mom, she's his grandma. And then he left.

Eddie could have yelled. He could have been cruel. But this is Eddie choosing joy.

He got into the car with Chris and they were both so happy to be back together. Eddie chose joy the moment he took Buck's advice and Dad'd up.

Joyful Eddie, you are so special to me. You're glowing and I love you.

Chris is gonna wake up his first morning back living with Eddie and hear Eddie talking to someone and he’s going to walk out into the living room and Eddie’s gonna be sitting on the chair with his feet on the table in his sweat shorts and a cut off tee shirt, smiling and rolling his eyes. And he’s going to hear Buck say “see, I told you! You needed to dad up and you did!”

And Chris is going to be hit with a wave of homesickness for LA that he hasn’t felt yet because he was missing his dad so much. But now he’s back with dad and Buck helped dad get the confidence to dad up and have him come live with him, but this isn’t their home.