24supersticky-buns

this feels like a bit. i know it’s not but this is so absurd that it feels like it’s right out of arrested development

Imagine Tim drake as a lawyer because I just watched legally blonde 2 and started tweaking when a Witty Skateboarding Timothy Mcginns appeared anyway I think it would be hilarious if Tim became a lawyer to piss off Bruce (and Jason)

Nightwing: Uh the the- what's the word! *Says something in Romani.*

Batkids: *Stops everything to help Dick figure it out.*

Superman: It's sweet you guys are helping him but we are currently negotiating an alien invasion.

Homan: “I find it offensive that Taco Bell has items in Mexican, not English.“

Guys like this make me wish being stupid was painful. Jesus Cristo...

it could be if you had a free afternoon, a tire iron, and the will to succeed

i made a character sheet. free to use as you wish, feel free to change whatever you want XD open source ass thing. spent all of ~maybe an hour on it.

Credit: the text in the insert-image box comes from this video, and the text for the top three lines (intense, complex, fruity) comes from this post. The actual image was made with the free NBOS character sheet creator, which is a sort of dated but free and solid text-layout sheet maker intended for ttrpg style character sheet creation.

this is GENUINELY one of the best character development sheets I've ever seen. Cuts right to the core of what you and your readers will glom onto, doesn't waste time on details that don't directly affect the narrative. Stupendous. Effervescent. Finally, some good fucking food

prev dont leave this in the tags

Tim: You know there are 42 different ways that Impulse can be killed in battle if he didn't practice long distance attacks

Dick, just woke up: I thank God every day you wake up and choose not to be a villain

I think it’s time I do everything I ever wanted

I got possessed by the idea of angel pigeons

listen to Aesop Rock's song "Pigeonometry" while you read this comic to get The Full Experience™

The best part about being asexual is knowing that you will never be honeypotted. I often picture myself as a mark in a James Bond movie who has information or something and Daniel Craig saunters up in his sexiest tux to seduce me and I’m just like “No thank you” no matter what he does and then he has an existential crisis and walks away in a daze then sends in Moneypenny cause maybe I just like women and I’m like “hey girl, no thanks” and send her away as well and they just never get the information. I am an immovable plot piece without even knowing it. Sorry James but I defy the tropes of your genre.

Happy International Asexuality Day to everyone except James Bond.

y’all my friend decided to investigate what was blocking their drain system and you are not prepared for the answer

i never draw for posts but something about this overtook me so sorry op

Damian grew up listening to Jason telling stories of his time with Bruce, and being the competitive little shit that he is decides he has to one up the guy once he gets to Gotham. this leads to him waiting until the perfect opportunity and proceeding to steal the tires off not just the batmobile, but all the vehicles in the cave. he pulls it off perfectly and he’s incredibly proud of it UP UNTIL Dick and Tim start panicking that Jason Todd’s vengeful ghost is clearly haunting the cave and is clearly agitated at Damian being the new Robin- after all, he only started fucking with things after Damian took the mantle, so he must have disapproved, right?

after two weeks he has to call Jason, scuffing his feet on the ground and gritting his teeth as he explains the situation.

“….what.”

directing his glare to the ceiling, Damian stubbornly repeats, “Grayson and Drake will no longer let me in the cave. they believe that your ghost is angry with me and are afraid you will become agitated by my presence there.”

“…” he waited impatiently for Jason’s response. “well how the fuck did you manage that?”

“your brothers are imbeciles.”

“first of all i’ve not even seen Tim since he got taken in, i met him like once when i was thirteen at a gala when we took turns trying to throw olives into an old lady’s handbag from the balcony above, he is more your brother than mine,” Damian rolled his eyes, tapping his foot and peeking out from behind the curtain he was hiding behind to call from, ensuring Alfred wasn’t nearby. “second of all why the fuck would they immediately assume i want you gone? didn’t they wonder why i didn’t start haunting the cave when the replacement took my mantle?”

“you’re acting like there should be logic behind any of this. i stole some tires and now they think your spirit wants me dead.”

“just tell them you took the tires.”

“but then i’d be caught and my mission would be a technical failure.”

“sucks to suck.”

Jason was not much help.

he was even less help when he came to Gotham and, in between establishing himself as an anonymous crime lord in Crime Alley, starts fucking breaking into the batcave to move shit about and leave threatening messages claiming that ‘the ghost of Robin is displeased with Damian’

Damian is this fucking close to just revealing Red Hood’s identity. on the plus side Tim is having the ego boost of his life learning that his successor’s ghost was ok with his Robin but not Damian’s. he’s been on a permanent high for the past month and it’s not going down any time soon.

Bruce is just sick of Dick sobbing through seance attempts while he’s trying to work at the batcomputer.

Hey you all know about that fungus that possesses ants to make them climb on the tip of grass blades in hopes of getting eaten by a cow, so that the fungus can continue its life cycle in the cow's guts? Because I think that's the kind of thing that's wrong with cave divers.

We don't know what's down there. We don't know what's gotten into their heads that makes them so determined to physically, personally go down there to find out. But I wouldn't entirely dismiss the possibility that whatever has gotten into them is very invested in getting eaten by whatever is down there.

The thing about reclaiming slurs is that once you've been affectionally called 'faggot' by friends, loved ones, and amiable fellows on the internet for long enough, you almost forget that it means something else to people who hate you.

Honestly at this point if a stranger on the street yelled "hey faggot!" after me, I'd probably turn around like "what?" like they'd just casually called me by name, and they were only trying to get my attention because they wanted to tell me something, before processing that they're being hostile.

actual tears running down my face