unimpressed & underwhelmed

I miss you so bad

I have so much to tell you

lots I just wanna run by you

you've always been my favorite life advisor

I'm afraid I'd just bother you

but I miss my best friend

a lot

I think of you every day

I miss you so much that I just become numb to it.

always find myself wanting to tell you something.

to head your voice.

I'm saddest because I can't share things with you.

there's so much I have to say.

I get so sad.

I miss you.

I'm unsure if I miss the version of you I somewhat deluded myself into believing you were

or if I miss you.

but it hurts just the same.

whenever something happens I want to share, it's an empty ache.

you should be here

why aren't you here?

I just wish things turned out differently.

I still love you with every part of my being.

and I hate myself for it.

missing you makes me so sad

I hate missing you

I hate that we got to this point

I hate that you hurt me the way you did

I hate all of this.

I miss you so badly it hurts.

I miss you so much it hurts.

and then I remember how everything else hurt.

I can't believe this is how we end up.

I miss crawling into your lap

I miss being enveloped by you

I miss exhaling in your chest.

I don't miss the times I questioned myself.

my sanity.

my worth.

my love.

but I miss you. so much.

I am both free and trapped

sometimes I can't breathe

I'm unsure anyone would ever understand me, fully

so I don't say anything.

at all.

still the safest place for me to vent lol

might start using this thing again. hmm.