Kira

Getting there🤭🍁🦇

Fem Azris coming up?🤭🍁🖤

I said this once and I'll say it again..

✨️Eris Vanserra✨️🔥🤭🫶🤫

"Princess please, we are already running late just work along." Azriel chuckles at the sound of his mate's desperate voice echoing from the other room.

He is quick to fasten his fighting leathers as he walks over to the other room, just in time to see his youngest angrily staring at her pa, her lips pursed together in stubbornness. "I don't wanna wear my dress." She states again.

"I wanna wear the leathers Sam got me." She says, pointing at her little mannequin standing in the corner of the room. It adorning some gorgeous fighting leathers her oldest brother had gifted her for her birthday.

Even though both Eris and Azriel had told their oldest multiple times that she was way to young to receive them. "Angel.. we're going to a party, you gotta look pretty." Azriel states, smiling as both she and Eris turned towards him.

"But you are wearing them as well!" She protests, crossing her arms. Eris tilts his head, raising an eyebrow at his mate as if to say /she got you there, what you gonna do about it/

Azriel hums, chuckling as he narrows his eyes at his fireling. /you're her pa, make the decision/

Eris grunts, glancing back at the leathers with a pained expression. Much preferring to doll his little girl up over the rough looks the Illyrian clothing gave her.

"Please papa, I wanna look like my brothers." Eowyn pouts, batting her eyelashes innocently. Obviously having chosen that pleading might work better then her previous tantrum.

"Fine. Fine- but.. I am gonna do your hair." Eris eventually states, relenting as he gets up to put the dress away. His little girl grinning victoriously. "You're gonna be a pain in our ass when you grow older." Azriel says with a laugh, ruffling her hair before heading down to grab their jackets.

It didn't take long for his mate to walk down the stairs, glancing pitifully at the young girl running past him. Fighting leathers adorning her little body and a pink bow standing proudly in her ponytail.

"Doesn't she look absolutely viscous." The shadowsinger says with a chuckle, helping Eowyn put on her jacket. "Just as fierce as you, right dad?" She asks happily, making Eris grumble. "I still prefer the dress." He mutters, though there was a lightness to his voice. Wearing pure adoration for his little warrior.

Eris adjusted his coat, his fire-bright hair catching the last rays of sunshine streaming through their entryway. "He is gonna be insufferable, you know." Azriel murmured, thought a hint of pride easily coated his tone. "Walking into the bar tonight, knowing he bested the others."

Eris laughs, shaking his head as he glances down at Eowyn. "His brothers are not gonna hear the end of it, I'm sure he'll pick a fight every second he can."

Azriel laughs softly, though his shadows betrayed his actual emotions. Twining restlessly around the shadowsinger's shoulders and hands. "He earned it." He says softly, eyes taking on a faraway look as he picked up his daughter.

"He always struggled proving himself, the camps have always been rougher on him then they had on Sam and Azul." He says, glancing up at Eris.

The High Lord of Autumn smiles softly, tilting his head as he takes in his mate. "He's gonna be fine, Az. He is strong, so extremely strong." He says, nudging his shadowsinger. "Just you wait. He'll be waiting for us with the biggest grin when we get there, ready to come home and tell us all about it."

A knock on the door was quick to put their conversation to an end, Azriel's shadows excitingly snapping towards it. "Must be Sam." He says softly, knowing his eldest said he might stop by first and head to Windhaven with the three of them.

He gently placed down Eowyn, the girl instantly rushing off to grab her wooden practice sword while Azriel opened the door.

But it wasn't Sam.

Rhysand stood on their door steps, eyes heavy with sorrow as he took in his brother before glancing at Eris behind him. He swallowed thickly, watching the mates in front of him as he tried finding the right words.

Azriel was the first to catch on, his heart stopping and all colour draining from his face. "No." He chokes out, the word a desperate plea falling from his lips.

"Azriel.. Eris- I'm so so sorry." Rhysand mutters, stepping forward cautiously.

Eris froze, his usual fierce demeanor crashing within a second. "What- what are you saying?" He croaks, his voice unsteady and raw as his eyes fixed on the Lord of Night.

"He didn't make it." Rhysand says softly, his eyes slowly filling with tears. "Theon fell, Eris.. I'm sorry he- the others boys..."

Azriel didn't hear the rest, his shadows exploding from his shadows and filling the room in unrestrained chaos. His knees buckled, and Eris was quick to catch him and keeping him from collapsing completely.

"No.... no no no no no." Azriel clutched onto Eris' arms, holding on tightly in fear of losing his mate as well. "No.. he's too strong.. he would never- he can't be.." his words broke out into sobs..cries of anguish filling the hallway.

"Dad?" Eowyn's small voice came through the shadows, watching her fathers uncertainly. She knew something was wrong but was not yet being able to understand the situation.

Eris shook his head, his body trembling as he reaches out to pull his little girl close. Needing to hold her, needing to know she was still there. "You're lying." He says, his voice a broken plea as he looks up at Rhysand. His eyes hollow as he denied the truth. "He can't be gone.. not Theon.. he is too strong." He chokes out.

Rhysand smiles brokingly, his own tears of sorrow slowly running down his cheeks at the sight of them. "I'm sorry Eris, I wouldn't wish this upon anybody.. Especially Theon." He mutters.

"He was always so kind, his heart always to big... he fought hard till the end."

Eris let out a cry of pure anguish, letting go of Eowyn and shoving past Azriel. Slamming his fists onto the cabinet as flames licked up his spine and arms. The wood instantly burning and turning to a pile of ash.

Eowyn flinched, her lip trembling as she watched her dad's, soft sobs soon leaving her lips as she picked up the emotions around the room.

"No... no not Theon- not my boy.." Eris chokes out, sinking down the wall as sobs wrecked his body.

Azriel crawled to him, wrapping his arms around his mate while his tears continued to fall freely. He moved to pulll Eowyn up between them, the girl clinging tightly to her dads.

The three clung to one another on the floor, the grief a thickening wave threatening to drown them.

The house was often filled with their children's laughter. Their voices echoing through the halls. Whether happy or bickering. Yet in that very momemt their normally warm house fell silent.

It suddenly being too big for just the lot of them.

Eris was the first to pull himself slightly together, still clinging to Azriel and Eowyn as he lifted his head to Rhysand.

"Where are my boys?" He asks, his voice coming oit rough and broken. "Cassian is currently talking to them.. they'll be here shortly." The High Lord responds, glancing down at his brother with pure sorrow.

Azriel let out another heartbreaking sob as he held tightly onto his daughter, his wings drooping lifelessly behind him at the thought of their boys hearing the news.

"Azriel, I'm here for you, let me know if I can help." Rhysand says softly, glancing over the three of them one more time before winnowing away.

The shadowsinger broke once more, placing multiple kisses upon Eowyn's head as he sobbed. His heart aching painfully every time he tried to remember his son's laughter. His playfull demeanor and loyal heart.

It wasn't long before Sam and Azul walked into the hallway, the latter looking paler then normal. Eyes blood red and hands trembling. "Oh my boy." Azriel whispers, getting up and pulling his son into a tihht wmbrace.

"It's okay.. it's okay.." he whispers, voice failing him as the boy broke into sobs, holding tightly onto his father.

Sam was quick to reach for Eowyn, picking the girl up and holding her close. "I'll make us some tea." He says softly, moving to the kitchen. "Sam.." Eris muttere, watching his oldest son. "It's okay to grieve." He says softly.

Same hesitated for oa flicker of a second before shaking his head. "It's alright, another time." He says, masking every emotion to his best ability before fully walking into the kitchen.

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Azriel pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Azul's fire red head once the boy calmed down a tad, his eyes filled with sorrow.

"Come on, let's go upstairs." He mutters, gently guiding him up the stairs before reaching for Eris hand. The male in question having zoned out, staring at the floor as tears slowly ran down his cheeks.

"Come on, my love.. it's okay." Azriel whispers brokingly, leading both up the stairs and into their bedroom.

Their bed had always been overly large. Which had been more then efficient when they first moved in together, the bed easily fitting both Azriel's shadows and Eris' huge collection of pillows.

And then the kids came- one for one curling up alongside them when they grew up, the bed having felt empty once their boys left for Windhaven. The sheets cold, and bed way to big.

But now, 10 years later- it was perfect once again. The perfect size for the lot of them to hold one another through the grief. Azriel silently moved to the bed, taking off his shoes before laying down in the middle.

"Come 'ere." He whispers, voice cracking once more as he opened his arms for both Eris and Azul. The young bat was quick to crawl into bed with his father, his face pale and lip quivering as he curled up besides him.

Eris watches them for a moment, choking on a sob before he sat down besides Azriel, leaning up against the headboard. The shadowsinger smiles softly, placing a kiss atop Eris' head. "It's okay to cry." he whispers, knowing his mate still struggled with it, no matter the situation.

The shadows were quick to rush forward at the sound of ceramic breaking, a slam soundig soon after making Azriel flinch. He was about to get up and head dowstairs to check upon his oldest, but footsteps were soon heading up the stairs.

"Oh Sam.." Eris whispers once the oldest walked inside, tears slowly running down his cheeks and wings dragging lowly over the ground. All fight having left his body. "I dropped the tea.." he says with a small smile, trying to hold himself together.

"It's alright.. come 'ere you two." The High Lord of Autumn whispers softly. Eowyn was quick to rush over, holding tightly onto her stuffed teddy bear as she crawled in between Azriel and Eris.

Sam hesitated for a flicker of moment, a shaky breath leaving his lips before pushing his emotions back in control. A quick wipe of his tears before he crawled into bed along with the others.

Eris hums, holding his family closed before glancing at the hearth. A single thought being enough for the fire to start, the soft orange glow instant lighting up the room. Yet it did nothing against the darkness the grief brought along with it.

"Is Theon really gone?" Eowyn whispers, her lip trembling as she glances upon her fathers. Azriel looks down at his little girl, his chest constricting as he pulled her closer. His shadows instantly wrapped around her, softly brushing iver her arms as if to comfort the 8 year old.

"Yes my angel.." He eventually whispers, his voice rough with emotion. "He's really gone." He mutters, the words alone causing more tears to roll down his cheeks.

Azul moved next, hesitating before curling up against Azriel, reaching over to gently rub Eowyn's back. For a couple of minutes the room was filled with silence, aside the soft sobs or whimpers leaving one of them every now and then. Everyone stuck in their own thoughts and memories.

"I-I told him not to go... begged him even." Azul crumpled, brows furrowed together as he talked. "But he was stubborn, said it was his time to prove himself.. to show you that he could be like you, dad." He finishes, tears racing down his cheeks.

Azriel's breath hitched at his words, his grip on Eowyn instantly tightening. Besides him Eris sat up straighter against the headboard, his sharp intake of breath barely audible above the fire. Yet his amber eyes flicked towards Sam. His oldest not having said a word as he stared at the fire the whole time. Knuckles clenched tightly as guilt and anger raced through his eyes.

"He didn't have to prove anything." Sam says, still not moving his gaze away from the crackling hearth. "He wasn't ready and I didn't do a fucking thing. I should have made him stay, should have stopped him."

Eris frowns, wrapping an arm around his son's shoulders and gently rubbing his thumb along his arm. "This isn't your fault." He tells him gently, his voice steady despite the grief weighting on his shoulders. "Theon wanted to participate.. trained so hard for it." He says softly.

Sam flinched, jerking away as his face shifted to one of anger and guilt. The first true emotions shown since he stepped into the bedroom. "He was so young! He didn't know the right choice, pa." He bites out, voice breaking. "I am the oldest, it is my /job/ to protect him. And I failed!"

"Sam.." Azriels says gently, his voice shaky as he reached over for his oldest. "It's okay..." he adds gently. Eris smiles, slowly reaching over again and pulling Sam tightly up against him. The dam broke, and Sam's shoulders shook as sobs racked his body.

Eowyn whimpers, lip trembling as she hesitantly reaches over, holding out her teddy bear. "Mr. Pickles wants to help.." she whispers. Azriel places a soft kiss to the top of her head, gently squezing Azul's shoulder.

Eris glances over at his mate, the two sharing a look of pure understanding and agonizing heartbreak. They lost a piece of themselves that day, and they had no idea how to move forward just yet.

"Will we forget him?" Eowyn asks eventually, looking up through bloodred eyes. Azul let out another small sob at her words, holding tighter onto his father.

"Never." Eris responds easily, of this he was sure. This he could promise them. "We still have each other. And we'll carry him with us- always." He says softly, smiling as he gentle brushed the tears from Eowyn's cheeks.

Azul sniffled, lifting his head and looking up at Azriel. "You reckon he was scared?" He asks. The male hesitated, his heart twisting painfully at the thought of his son spending his last seconds in terror.

"I think he was very brave." He forces himself to reply, gently running his hand through Azul's face. "Braver then he had to be.. and I think he gave his everything to till the very last second."

Eris nods, leaning his head against Azriel's shoulder as he held his family close. "The rite will always take, will never stop taking aqay those we love.." he mutters, glancing at Sam who was still staring at the fire. His face set in stone tho tears were slowlt rolling down his cheeks.

Azriel nods slowly, watching his shadows swirl around his family. Softly brushing along arms as if trying to bring some comfort as well.

Sam scoffs, still staring at the fire as anger raged through his eyes. "I'll make sure no one else will get through this.. not like him.. no one deserves to die over a single game of who has the biggest dick." He spats angrily, clenching his fists tighter to hide the tremor in them.

Eris reaches over, placing a gentle hand atop Sam's. Feeling his son tense up even more at the touch. "You don't have to go through this alone, Sammy." He whispers. "None of us does."

Sam swallows thickly, continuing to stare at the fire as more tears slowly started rolling down his cheeks, quickly grabbing onto his pa's hand tightly.

"Is Theon with the Mother now?" Eowyn whispers, raising her tear streaked face. Azriel glanced over, meeting Eris' gaze. Their shared pain a silent understanding hanging between them. The shadowinger took a deep breath, holding his mate's gaze a second longer before turning to his daughter.

"Yes." He says softly. "He is with the Mother.. looking down at us." He adds, glancing up with a smile. "Protecting us." He whispers, reaching over to hold Azul's hand. "He's closer by then you might think.." he adds, pointing at the boy's heart. "In here."

Azul smiles softly, sniffing before snuggling back up against his dad. The family stayed like that, tangled together in a web of grief and great loss. The loss of Theon was mever gonna be easy. But together they would push through it, step by step.

Eris reached for Azriel's free hand, their fingers interteining as they held their family tightly. Sam's sobs finally filling the space as well. And it was that moment, that they began the long, painful journey to healing.

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We should start 'No Smut November' within the book community..

most won't last a day..

I won't at least😂

SCREAMING, HDHFB 2 BONUS CHAPTERS FROM XADENS POV

I think this may be one of my favourite edits yet🥰

Cassian: Alright Illyrians! If you were an office supply what would you be?

Rhysand: I'd be paper, cause people use me and then throw me away..

Cassian: Descriptive!