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character-fight-blog

@that1insomniac

she/her Just some random person who decided to do this for shits and giggles

Pinned post? Alr

Welcome to this place I made out of sheer boredom. I think i’m decent at making character fight analyses so here I am. If you wanna submit characters to pit against each other to the death, here’s the guidelines.

  1. No more then 2 characters at a time
  2. Make sure it’s not ridiculously unbalanced
  3. Any fandoms are fine - use anyone and have fun!

I specialize in a few fandoms, but literally any are fine (check tags for specialized fandoms).

Fair warning: these might spin on for a bit and turn into full on essays… you have been warned. also if you give me fandoms not in the tags it’ll take a little longer to get out cuz i have to research more

Can’t wait to listen to your crazy ass fight ideas :)

And we’re back (hopefully)

i know it’s been a minute since i’ve posted anything. sorry for keeping you guys waiting for so long but school and life have been getting in the way 😅

i’ve updated my tagged post to include some more fandoms i’ve learned about and i’ve also updated the Angel vs Mettaton fight to fix a mistake i made (thank you @rare2o1 this would’ve really messed up the story line i’m going for 🙏)

i’ll try to have my next fight out by March 31st at the latest. it might be before, but that’s the deadline i’m setting myself

annnnddddd i think that’s it! i’ll post as often as i can with updates. thanks for understanding!

Hey yall

sorry for the wait for the next fight, i’m really trying to get it out but yall are putting really good characters against each other. not complaining, just saying it’ll take some time. anyways, imma be gone for a week so i won’t be able to work on it. once i get back i should be able to get it out. thanks for waiting!

(here’s a sneak peek)

“My my! It appears a new human has entered this realm!”

Alastor stood up and looked around. All around him were colorful characters and objects. Quite confused, he turned towards the floating pair of dentures.

“Where exactly am I, my good sir?”

“Well, new friend, you’re inside the AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS!”

Alright, here's one

Sorry about how one hasn't showcased her full power, and that the other may be a bit overpowered- Otherwise, just thought it'd be interesting.

ehem anyways

Charlie the princess of hell

VS

Chara the demon that comes when you call out it's name

goodluck to you writting this, and to both of them fighting eachother XD

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Before reading on, make sure you read my last post to understand why I made Chara the way I did in this.

Charlie Morningstar

“That’s Princess of Hell to you, pig!”

Charlie Morningstar is (as the quote above states) the Princess of Hell, daughter of Lucifer Morningstar, and owner of the Hazbin Hotel. Despite her threatening battle appearance, she’s mostly depicted as friendly, kind, and supportive of her friends throughout the entire show. She helps run her hotel alongside her friend Alastor and her girlfriend Vaggie.

Pros:

  • Half-Angelic (father is a fallen angel; we know Lucifer is immune to angelic weapons [thanks to creator livestreams], so I imagine that they would have a nulled effect on Charlie. Not enough to be fully ineffective against her, but enough so that it would take multiple fatal hits to kill her)
  • Half-Demonic (can’t be killed by normal weapons, such as guns and knifes)
  • Has 2 Pet Hell Dragons (Razzle and Dazzle in they’re full demon forms would make strong allies in battle)

Cons:

  • Too Nice (would try to reason with the opponent, giving them an opening to deliver a fatal blow before she could attack)
  • Fragile (in the final battle of Hazbin Hotel, once Pentious died she literally fell over crying. Of course she then did use her full demon form, but if this repeated multiple times it’s possible she would cave in)
  • A Bit Naive (would believe that the opponent wasn’t trying to hurt people until either she was mortally wounded or her friends were)

Chara Dreemurr

"Where are the knives."

Chara Dreemurr is the first fallen human in the game Undertale. Much about Chara is unknown, as they don’t appear frequently in the game. However, we know they like chocolate and knifes, and that they share a soul with Frisk that gives them a physical form, but that they despise humanity. Most of this fight will consist of a “fan made” Chara (see previous post).

Pros:

  • DETERMINATION (the solution to literally anything mysterious in Undertale. This power allows Frisk/Chara to go back to their saved location after death)
  • Inventory System (can equip different weapons mid fight to change tactics)
  • Combat Mastery (SUPER good at close and ranged combat)

Cons:

  • Split Personality (in this AU, Chara is murderous while Frisk really isn’t [was Player controlled for genocide run]. Should Frisk take control of the body mid fight, that’s practically insta-death)
  • Cocky (when nearing the end of battle, might taunt the enemy. However, only does this when they seem sure of victory)
  • Player (the third party. Should they log on, Chara would stop moving, as the Player would have to use the controls to make them move. This would definitely decrease the amount of freedom Chara had to attack as they see fit)

Fight Analysis

In past fights, participants have been taken to a place neither fighter is familiar with. This fight however will take place in Hell. You’ll see why in a sec.

FIGHT

It’d been three months since monsters had gone free from the Underground. No resets had taken place after that. This was because Frisk had found of a way to keep Chara at bay. After watching the movie ‘Venom’ with their friends, Frisk thought that if they were to feed Chara’s bloodlust by allowing them to kill bad people only, they might not reset the timeline to kill the same victims over and over again. It had worked, and once a week Frisk would allow Chara to take control of their body to kill off the bad people polluting the surface. Chara was careful, as getting Frisk arrested would mean they would get arrested as well. Frisk didn’t really like this solution, but at least they could live happily with their friends for most of their life.

*You ask if Chara is ready to go out.

*Ready when you are partner.

*Bout time Frisk. I thought you might’ve forgotten our agreement.

Chara walked down the street, keeping their eyes peeled for any people who look like they’ve done something Frisk would consider ‘bad’. Not that there were any good people in humanity, but Frisk was the judge on who they could kill. Still they didn’t pass up the chance to ask about every person they saw.

*What about that guy there?

*You ask Chara what made them think that he was bad.

*Just look at him, Frisk! Does he not look evil to you?!

*You tell Chara that he looks like a normal man ok his way to work.

*Tch. Whatever.

They walked past Papyrus, who seemed to be hanging missing signs for his brother.

*You ask Chara what they thought happened to Sans.

*I dunno Frisk, maybe the comedian finally left town.

*You express your doubt to Chara that Sans would leave without telling Papyrus first. You then tell Chara about how Mettaton had also gone missing.

*I know Frisk. I can hear and see everything you can, remember?

*You’re suspicious of Chara, but decide to trust them instead of getting into an argument.

They walk past the alley between the nearby apartment buildings and stop.

*Hey, Frisk. Alleys are where the ‘bad people’ hang out, right?

*You tell Chara that that’s usually how the stereotype goes.

*Well, i’m getting tired of walking. I’m gonna just sit in here and wait until a bad person walks towards me.

Chara moved down the alley and sat down next to an empty bowl. Suddenly, the world went dark. Sounds of the cars going down the road nearby ceased. All was dark and all was quiet.

*Frisk, what the hell-

A hand with a hole in the center shot out suddenly and grabbed Chara. Before they knew what was happening they were being dragged under the ground. They moved through dirt and stone like it was water, until they suddenly popped out into an unfamiliar landscape. The sky was all red and covered with weird looking stars, except for a white and gold globe way above them. They were surrounded by weird looking monsters, who payed no attention to the kid who suddenly appeared in the middle of the sidewalk.

*Frisk where the hell are we?

*You tell Chara that you don’t know. You advise Chara to save, then ask one of the nearby monsters.

Chara touched the golden star nearby, then looked around and spotted a weird looking gray monster nearby. He had heart shaped glasses, a red top hat, and teeth that made Muffet’s fangs look tiny.

*Hey dude! Where the hell am I?!?

The man looked around and smiled creepily at them.

“Ah~ fresh meat. Welcome to Hell dear.”

*Hell?!? What do you mean Hell!??

“I mean it’s Hell dear~ By the way, you wouldn’t be interested in being a famous actor would you? I sell your body for more money than you could ever think of!”

*…Frisk? Please, please tell me that creep is a bad person.

*You tell Chara that this is definitely a bad person.

*Excellent.

With seemingly inhuman speed, Chara rushed at the moth man and sunk their knife right into his neck. The moth gave a scream of pain before kneeling down.

”Fucking ow! How fucking dare you stab me when all of Hell knows my name!”

*Uh huh. And what’s your name?

The moth flushed angrily. “Valentino you dumbass! Fuck this hurts like hell,” he said and, to Chara’s amazement, he got back up. “I don’t see why you did that, prick. You can’t exactly kill me without an angelic weapon.”

*Good to know

Chara then turned and walked down the street.

*I don’t get it Frisk. Did my stats reset? Even without an ‘angelic weapon’ he still should have-

A gunshot rang out. Chara barely had time to turn and see the moth pointing a gun at them before the bullet connected with their head.

After emerging from the star, Chara was fuming.

*Cmon Frisk. Let’s go see if we can find a shop that sells something to kill that bastard.

*You tell Chara this is the first time that you agree to something they’ve said.

They walked the opposite direction this time, and could hear confusion behind them.

”Where’d the body go?”

“I don’t know it just vanished!”

*Seems everyone down here’s aware. Great.

*You tell Chara that there seems to be a factory of some kind in front of them.

Indeed, in front of them was a factory with a sign that said ‘CARMILLA CARMINE: FINEST WEAPONS IN HELL’.

*Excellent. Let’s see if this has what we need.

MEANWHILE

“VAGGIIIIIEEEEEE!”

“Woah Charlie, what’s going on!”

Charlie rushed towards Vaggie, panting and looking worse for wear.

“*pant* I’ve been looking… *pant* all over hell… *pant* and I can’t find Angel ANYWHERE!”

“It’s no big deal hun. Angel’s strong, i’m sure he can defend himself.”

“But what if he’s hurt, or being abused by Valentino, or… *gaaaassssppp* VALENTINO! I BET HE’S TREATING ANGEL LIKE SHIT AGAIN!” Charlie started heading for the door.

“WOAH CHARLIE, HANG ON!” Vaggie grabbed out at Charlie’s arm and held it.

“Vaggie, I can’t wait. What if Angel’s hurting?”

“Normally i’d agree with you hun, but Angel can’t be at the studio!”

“Why not?”

“Because I saw him this morning. Valentino didn’t call him in today so I asked him to watch the remaining Egg Boi.”

“Yeah but what if Val decided to call him in late today? I have to check Vaggie, I don’t want Angel to be hurt.”

“Alright, fine, just… be careful hun. You remember what happened last time you went to Val.”

“Don’t worry Vaggie, I’ll be back in a flash!”

Charlie stepped outside and began to walk through the town. Strange, there didn’t seem to be any sinners out today. Usually the streets were crammed with bodies AND sinners but today was just… bodies. Mentally shaking herself, Charlie continued down the road to the studio in the middle of town. When she arrived, she found (among yet more bodies) a kid holding a knife right outside the doors. Charlie began to breathe easier at the sight of a living person.

“Hey! What’s a kid like you doing outside the porn studio!”

The kid turned, and Charlie was surprised to see that the kid had glowing red eyes.

”U-um… you know you really shouldn’t be here,” Charlie said, switching her tone to try and not threaten the kid. “Uh… you haven’t seen a tall, moth looking demon around here, have you?” The kid smiled a little.

*Oh? You mean this guy?

Chara reached down and picked up something off the ground. Charlie hadn’t noticed it among the other bodies, but once she looked at it she gasped in horror. It was Valentino’s head, eyes black and soulless. As she looked around, she noticed that none of the sinners seemed to be regenerating, like normal. They seemed to be truly dead.

“Wha-what happened here?” Charlie asked, feeling sick to her stomach.

*Well, Val here decided it would be funny to try and kill me. After I took him down, other demons started attacking until… well i’m sure you can guess what happened next.

Charlie couldn’t believe it. Her own people, killed in an instant by this tiny sinner with a high opinion of themselves. Getting angrier, she summoned Razzle and Dazzle by her side and transformed into her full demon side.

“You think that you can just show up here and kill my people!? These sinners were my family!”

*Well then, that kinda sucks for yo-

Charlie heaved her trident right at Chara. It hit them square in the chest, causing them to crumple to the ground.

Charlie barely had time to wonder how she had killed that kid so easily when she heard a voice behind her.

*Impressive. I didn’t see that coming.

Charlie turned and saw the kid standing a few feet away, unharmed.

“What… how?”

Chara didn’t respond. Instead, they crouched down and launched themselves right at Charlie. Charlie barely had time to dodge out of the way before Chara landed and pulled a gun out of their pocket. They shot a few rounds at Charlie, who hit them away, before leaping back with their knife in hand. They managed to get a hit off on Charlie right on her left shoulder. This sent Razzle and Dazzle into a frenzy, and they charged towards Chara.

”RAZZLE, DAZZLE, NO!!!” Charlie screamed, but it was too late. In a couple of well placed strikes, Chara tore through the dragons, leaving only their disembodied heads lying on the ground.

NO!!” Charlie cried, dropping to her knees, sobbing. Chara took this time to do a quick check on their stats.

*Chara, LV. 28 - 136 ATK 136 DEF

*Those dragons had a hell of a lot of EXP to them. You should be proud.

Charlie was literally seeing red now. She stood up and with blinding speed charged at Chara. Chara dodged easily and slashed Charlie on the back. Charlie winced, but was so full of adrenaline that she immediately swung around and stabbed Chara right in the shoulder. Luckily, the added DEF and HP Chara had gotten from Razzle and Dazzle meant this didn’t really do a whole lot of damage.

*Is this the best you can do for your fallen friends? Did your ‘family’ really mean anything to you?

Charlie was getting reckless. She swung wildly at Chara, who would dodge then counterattack. This went on for a while, until…

STOP!”

Charlie had fallen to her knees, heavily wounded on every inch of her body. Chara stood nearby, unscathed.

“Stop… I know I can’t beat you… even if I manage to kill you, you’ll just come back…”

Chara started to walk towards Charlie to finish the job, but…

*You tell Chara to hear this person out

*Cmon Frisk, it’d be nicer to put them out of their misery.

*You refuse, and repeat to Chara to hear the person out.

*Ugh, fine

Charlie, who hadn’t noticed any of this, looked up at Chara.

“I run a hotel that redeems sinners. Everyone else might see you as unredeemable, but i’d be going against everything i’ve worked for to at least not try to change your mind. No matter what happened to you on Earth, I promise that we can help you out. You don’t have to aimlessly destroy.”

*And what would you know about it, demon?!

Despite their threatening tone, their hands were shaking. This did not go unnoticed by Charlie.

“You don’t have to be a bad person. Even if you’re in hell, you can be good.”

*That’s the biggest load of bullshit i’ve ever heard!

“Maybe to you, but not to me.” Charlie began to rise. “I’ve seen the good that can come from sinners. You don’t have to suffer alone.”

Chara was shaking violently.

*SHUT THE HELL UP!!! YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING!!

Chara lunged again and started striking Charlie with every ounce of anger they could muster. Charlie fell again, and Chara kneeled beside her, panting.

“You can be redeemed and get into heaven. Let us help you.”

*I’ll never accept help from the likes of you.

“I figured,” Charlie said. “But it was worth a shot.” She stabbed Chara right through the heart. Blood starting oozing out of them in mass quantities.

*You son of a bitch!

Chara threw their knife and it hit Charlie right in the forehead. She fell face first into the pavement, driving the angelic steel knife deeper into her cranium.

Chara fell to their knees, clutching their chest.

*D-damn it…

Chara started crawling towards the save star.

*Gotta… make… it… back…

Right before they’re HP hit 0, they slammed they’re hand on the save star and…

*HP restored. Your LOVE increased.

End of battle

Thoughts

Really, this one was kinda one-sided. Since Chara can’t die and their soul is literally determination, there wasn’t really a way for Charlie to win. Not a lotta thoughts here, sorry 😅

CHARA DREEMURR WINS!

Do you agree with this? Lemme know in the comments how this would have gone in your mind. Really curious to hear your thoughts! :)

(side note: sorry this took so long to get out i’ve been busy 😭)

How Chara Will Work In This Blog

So for one of my upcoming fight requests, Chara Dreemurr was asked for. This is tricky, because I try my best not to step out of the canon of the games and shows for my fights. However, Chara has like a minute of screen time in the entire game of Undertale. Because of this, and because Chara showed no prowess for combat in game (minus the final attack of the player at the end of the genocide route), I’ve decided to look into some fan animations for the next fight. Here’s what i’ve selected:

Made by NCHProductions

The Choice: UNDERTALE All Bosses Animation (specifically starting at 14:06, as everything before that is pacifist)

Made by z Ke

That’s about it for now. I’ll provide finer details in the actual fight post.

Mettaton vs Angel Dust

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I’m going to assume that you’re talking about Mettaton EX, not normal or NEO.

Mettaton

“I'M NOT GOING TO DESTROY YOU WITHOUT A LIVE TELEVISION AUDIENCE!!”

Mettaton EX is the 2nd out of 3 forms for the character Mettaton from Undertale. Mettaton is a celebrity in the underground, known for his TV shows, such as the news or Cooking With A Killer Robot. He’s mostly portrayed as flirtatious and slightly arrogant, but has shown a soft spot for his cousin, Napstablook.

Pros:

  • Robot Body (high HP and DEF)
  • Arsenal of Technology (uses bombs, robot legs, mini versions of himself, etc.)
  • Well Known Celebrity (has a constant flow of support coming from his fans)

Cons:

  • Fragile (can lose limbs if attacked enough)
  • He’s a Showman (goes for flashy attacks rather than something that would do more damage)
  • Relies on the Audience for Support (without an audience, what’s the point in an entertainment robot?)

Angel Dust

"Eh, you win some, you lose a few hundred.. Ahahaha!”

Angel Dust is a denison of hell in the show Hazbin Hotel. He’s a famous on and off screen personality, mostly known for his work in ‘the studio’. On the outside, he’s a flirty, shameless, sex-addicted demon who would “do anything with enough booger sugar and lube” (Katie Killjoy). As the show progresses however, we learn that he’s really a sweet guy who messed in his past.

Pros:

  • Spider Boi (can grow/retract extra limbs as needed)
  • Experience In Combat (has participated in overlord turf wars; shows prowess with tommy guns specifically)
  • Demon (can only truly “die” to angelic weapons)

Cons:

  • Doesn’t Take Things Seriously (stopped firing at angels attacking him to point out an accidental sex joke Husker made)
  • Addict (might let his guard down if offered sex or drugs)
  • Mortal Soul (can still be mortally wounded/knocked out by normal weapons)

Fight Explanation

This fight will be placed in a stage neither combatant is familiar with. There will be a fake audience surrounding the stage, cheering for both fighters. Think of it like Mettaton’s stage, but black with pink lights/outlines. Alright, let’s do this.

FIGHT

”Angel!”

“Yeah, what’s up Vagina?”

“Don’t call me that jackass, why aren’t you doing your job!”

Vaggie appeared to be in a worse mood than usual, if that was possible. With the hotel being literally cut in half yesterday by the first man, tension was high when repairs started.

“What’s my job again, toots?”

“Your job is to watch over the remaining Egg Boi while Alastor is out buying materials to repair the hotel, how could you fucking forget when I told you this morning?!”

“Chillax babe I am watching them. See?” He pointed as the Egg Boi ran past the couch, shouting something about a shadow government in the closet.

“Mhm, I see. And where is he going smart guy?”

“Probably to the closet with the shadow whatever like the little guy said.” said Angel, none to concerned.

“Well, why don’t you go check on him. That way you’re doing something productive instead of LYING THERE USLESSLY!!!”

“Jeez, fine, just don’t get your taco in a twist baby.” Angel chortled under his breath as Vaggie started muttering swear words under her breath in Spanish before she walked away. Angel got up from the couch and headed towards the closet in which the supposed ‘shadow government’ was and opened the door.

”Heeeyyy little guy, how’s the shadow governing goin?” he froze, staring around him as black mist began to spill out of the closet, consuming him and his surroundings.

“What the fu-“ before he knew what was happening, he felt the floor give out beneath him. He felt wind rushing past his face as he fell into nothingness. Down, down, down he fell, yet the surroundings got darker, yet darker, until…

[Meanwhile, in the Undertale Universe]

“Blooky! How are you darling?”

“oh……. i’m good……. mettaton……”

“Glad to hear it darling. Has Sans gotten back to us about the cameo performance we offered him? His trombone audition astounded me, I must say.”

“no……. papyrus said that sans hasn’t been home……….. for awhile now…….. sorry”

“Really? That’s odd I wonder what happened to him. Papy almost always has tabs on Sans.” Mettaton thought for a second. Now that he thought about it, when was the last time he had seen Sans? He saw him 2 days ago and spoke about the trombone performance, but yesterday he just… vanished.

“Well no matter. We can deliver a stellar performance ourselves, can’t we Blooky?”

“if you say so……… mettaton…….”

“Splendid. If you need me, I’ll be in my changing room for tonight’s exclusive episode on The Monster-Truman Show. I knew Alphys would be a popular contestant for this show but the ratings for a show about spying on her were amazing! Anyways, tootles Blooky!”

Mettaton walked away towards his changing room. Sure, spying on random monsters was kind of weird, but you can’t argue with the ratings. He opened his door, stepped inside, and…

Everything went dark. He turned his head, adjusting his optical sensors to the new environment, but it didn’t seem to work. Suddenly, something grabbed him and pulled him further into the room… but it couldn’t be his changing room. His room didn’t expand endlessly into nothingness, didn’t give him a chill down his metal spine. Out of nowhere, he saw a flash of pink light, and landed on solid ground. He looked around, trying to discern his surroundings. At the other end of the room he saw…

…Well he wasn’t quite sure what it was.

“You there! Is this any way to treat a star?!” Mettaton yelled at the outline. “I have an important show to discuss and I’m on in 5!”

“Well that’s too bad toots” the thing said. “Really feel for ya there babe, but I don’t really care about some kidnappers schedule if i’m bein honest.”

“Kidnapper? You kidnapped me!” Mettaton was extremely confused and angry. Because of this spider, he was going to miss his exclusive episode. Spider…

”Oh, I get it darling” Mettaton said, grimacing. “You were sent by that nasty baker girl who lives down the way! I knew she was jealous of how I stole the spotlight away from her precious pastries.”

Now it was Angel’s turn to be confused. “The hell you on about, you fuckin weirdo? Ain’t no baker on this side of hell, they’re all in the gluttony faction of the pentagram.” This robot clearly wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. Who even was this robot…?

“Hey, wait a minute! The only tech brokers on this side of hell are the Vee’s! You was sent by them to take us out now once Alastor left the hotel this mornin!”

Before Mettaton could make any sense of this remark, the spider had sprouted 2 extra arms, both wielding tommy guns. In response, Mettaton summoned floating bombs all around Angel.

“Go ahead darling, take a shot… and learn what happens when you mess with the underground’s one and only star!”

Suddenly, spotlights turned on. The stage they were in began to rise rapidly into the air, stopping right at the base of a bunch of stands encircling the stage. Whistling, cheering, and clapping could be heard all around them. Figures moved in the stands, but neither the robot nor the sinner could make out their faces. Not that they really tried, as they were still staring into each other’s eyes, daring the other to make the first move.

Angel suddenly opened fire missing all the bombs surrounding him and shooting right at Mettaton. The robot cartwheeled out of the way, earning him a general rise in the cheers for Mettaton. Mettaton paused for a minute to turn and bow to the audience, giving Angel a chance to escape his explosive prison and rush Mettaton, guns still blazing. Mettaton turned and dodged just in time. He then turned and kicked Angel hard in the ribs.

“Really, darling? You should know being too forward is never the way to go. The audience wants drama, romance, and most of all…” Mettaton shot a laser into the disco ball above. “…bloodshed!”

The laser reflected off the disco ball, causing many more lasers to shoot off in other directions. Angel quickly rolled out of the way of an approaching laser, white in color, and accidentally shot a bullet at the disco ball. The ball shuddered, then the laser nearest him turned blue. It came to fast for him to dodge, but when it passed through his stiff body, nothing happened.

“Hey metal cheeks! Found out how ta stop your attack! How’s that for bloodshed dumbass!” Angel roared with laughter at the sight of the robots face. But Mettaton wasn’t upset by what Angel had said, he was upset that the audience had started to loudly cheer for Angel. Furious, he summoned mini versions of himself to shoot at Angel while he went to face him head on.

The stage was getting exceedingly dangerous. Lasers from the disco ball rained upon both Mettaton and Angel, mini robots shot hearts in all directions, bombs exploded everywhere, and in the middle Mettaton was kicking and punching at Angel with such speed that he appeared to be a blur of movement. Angel was still firing his tommy guns, but they were now mostly directed at the laser spitting disco ball and the mini robots trying to snipe him. He used his remaining 2 free hands to block and strike back at the killer robot as best he could, but Mettaton was too fast. The more Angel struggled, the louder the audience cheered for Mettaton, and the faster Mettaton became.

“You see darling?!? The audience loves me! You and your fake personality aren’t what the viewers want anymore!” Mettaton was throwing a giant yet ruthless smile at Angel, who was beginning to falter under the constant assault. Suddenly, Angel was hit by a stroke of genius.

“So the audience loves ya babe? Guess I don’t gotta be sorry for this!” Angel contorted his body so that the robots next kick went over his head, then spun out of the way and started laying waste to all the audience members. Screams of pain and horror filled the room as the figures moving just out of sight tumbled out of their seats and sprawled on the ground, motionless.

“NO!! MY RATINGS!!! MY FANS!!! MY GLORY!!!” Mettaton stood stunned mid kick, aghast at what was unfolding before his eyes.

“No one left to cheer ya on toots! Just you and me now!” Angel grinned, his face covered in black liquid that had expelled from the now dead audience when they were shot.

Mettaton was fuming. The damn spider had gone too far this time. He opened his chest to let out his most powerful attack: his own heart. It immediately began shooting fast moving lightning at Angel. Darting this way and that to make it even more difficult to shoot.

Angel ground his teeth in concentration. Every time he tried to get a good shot at the robot, the heart would release a stream of lightning, forcing him to dodge and realign his shot, only for this to repeat over and over. After a particularly close call (in which some of his ‘chest fluff that everyone mistakes for tits’ got shaved off) he got really pissed off and took a shot at the heart to try and make it go away. The bullet punched a hole right in the middle of the heart. Almost instantly, Mettaton’s arms and legs detached from his torso, and he fell to the floor.

Angel stared blankly at the torso and head that had, minutes previously, been trying to decapitate him with its legs. Puzzled but pleased, he walked toward the junk pile.

“Well babe, sorry not sorry to do that to ya. Maybe next time the Vee’s will think twice before tryin to take us down. Now…” he kicked Mettaton so his face was turned towards the celing. “Wanna see what’ll happen when you’re double dead?

Mettaton’s back up battery kicked in. He gazed at the barrel of the tommy gun aimed right at his forehead.

”Well,” Mettaton sighed. “At least I made the grandest finale I could.” He turned towards the corpses in the audience stands. “You’ve all been a great audience!”

Angel pulled the trigger, and Mettaton moved no more.

End of battle

Thoughts

I had originally thought that Mettaton would win this, but after rewatching both Hazbin Hotel and the Mettaton EX fight, I decided that if Frisk could beat Mettaton with an empty gun, there’s no reason why 2 fully loaded tommy guns couldn’t do the trick. I also realized that if Angel could kill angels, a ghost in a robot wouldn’t do much.

ANGEL DUST WINS!

Do you agree with this? Lemme know in the comments how this would have gone in your mind. I read all comments and am really curious to hear your thoughts! :)

Anonymous asked:

Jax vs Sans. the war of the smiley trashbags.

Could not have asked for a better ask to start this blog.

Jax

“Ooh, violence.”

Jax is a humanoid jackrabbit trapped inside of The Amazing Digital Circus. Throughout the first 2 episodes of the show, he’s portrayed as a sadistic person who appears not to care about harming others (including his friends).

Pros:

  • Digital Body (can’t ‘die’, immune to almost all types of death inducing methods)
  • Sadistic Nature (won’t care that much if Sans starts showing weakness)
  • Cartoon Physics Apply to Him (can teleport/run absurdly fast, stretch limbs, etc.)

Cons:

  • Arrogant (might give Sans an opening to attack)
  • Impatient (gave up driving the rig in Candy Carrier Chaos because the horn sucked)
  • Quick to Anger/Recklessness (doesn’t really think things through, can be rash)

Sans

*Can’t doge forever. Keep attacking.

Sans is a monster sealed underneath Mt. Ebott. Through most of the game, he’s depicted as a smiling, pun-telling, fourth wall breaking funny bone man. However, if you kill everyone in the game, he turns into one of the hardest boss fights in the entire game.

Pros:

  • Wide Variety of Weaponry (gravity manipulation, bone summoning, gaster blasters, KR, etc.)
  • Able to Dodge (this is unique in the game, as monsters don’t usually dodge attacks)
  • Able to Break The Normal Fighting System (attacking you on your turn, not letting you even have your turn)

Cons:

  • Low Stamina (can only dodge a certain amount of times, grows tired as battle progresses)
  • Stats (1 HP, 1 ATK)
  • Lazy (needs a lot of motivation to even start a fight)

Fight Explanation

So the way this fight will go is that we’re gonna assume that both characters are somehow teleported to a giant floating slab in the middle of nowhere, exactly as they are right now. Alright, let’s do this.

FIGHT

“JAX!! WHY DO YOU KEEP PUTTING CENTIPEDES IN MY ROOM!!!”

Ragatha’s screams echoed all through the tent, causing the inhabitants to stir out of their sleep. They didn’t blame Ragatha though, they all knew how much of a jerk Jax is.

“Chillax dollface, they’re not even real. All digital, remember?”

”WELL THEY FEEL REAL TO ME!!”

Ragatha attempted to hurl a sewing needle at Jax’s eye. He dodged it easily, and turned to face Ragatha, eyebrows raised.

“Really, dollface? I thought you knew better than tha-“

Suddenly, a shadow set upon the tent. Before anyone knew what was happening, a giant black hand had grabbed Jax and dragged him through the nearest door. Jax caught a glimpse of a swirling golden tower before being dropped onto a giant, flat, gray landscape.

Groaning, Jax got to his feet.

“Hey, what’s the big idea!?”

After dusting himself off, Jax looked around. He saw nothing but flat gray ground as far as the eye could see. Suddenly, from behind, he heard a voice. A low, menacing voice that shook him to his core.

“don’t you know how to greet a new pal? turn around… and s h a k e m y h a n d.”

Instinctively, Jax spun around and threw a punch. When he withdrew his fist from the air (he seemed to have missed his intended target), he saw a skeleton standing a few inches away with his hand outstretched.

“woahhh there pal, it’s just the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick.”

Jax was seething. First the stupid ragdoll had tried to kill him, and now this skeleton was mocking him. He was sure that this was one of Caine’s tricks, trying to make him “behave better”. Well he wasn’t going to take this, not from that damn AI and certainly not from one of his stupid NPC’s. He drew his fist back again and started trying to hit the skeleton anywhere he could, but no matter where he tried to punch, the skeleton seemed to be a few inches away.

“man, you really like trying to kill people you first meet. reminds me of a friend of mine.”

Sans decided that it was time to see if this rabbit was worth messing around with. Casually, he lifted up his hand and held Jax in place. Jax, stunned at his inability to move, watched as the skeleton’s ‘eyes’ went dark leaving 2 empty eye sockets that seemed to stare into his soul.

*Jax, LV. 19 - 54 ATK 48 DEF

*Seems he can’t be reasoned with…

“huh, LV. 19… wonder how you managed that.”

“What the hell are you on about skeleton, lemme go!” Jax was struggling against the invisible force holding him up. Sans obliged, letting him drop to the ground with a sickening crunch.

“Not like that, dumbass! I meant gently!”

Sans didn’t respond. He noticed the uneasy aura around Jax that he had previously thought was the eerie environment. This rabbit had to be stopped, lest it bring more chaos and destruction to its home.

“let’s just get to the point” Sans said, snapping his fingers

Jax whirled around. He was now in a 2 dimensional white box, facing the skeleton.

“Oh so that’s how you wanna do it huh, funny man?!? Give yourself a smaller space for you to run!?” Jax was fuming. He’d never seen anything like this.

”welp, i guess you know what they say… you don’t carrot all until someone shows that your actions aren’t white as fur.”

“Jeez that was awfu-“ Jax didn’t get a chance to finish because before he knew it, he was being slammed against one of the boxes walls. He quickly bounced back to his feet and lunged at the skeleton, barely missing the bones that shot out of the wall behind him. He charged, pulling a flintlock from behind his ears. He dodged more bones, then punched at the skeleton. As he had expected, the skeleton had dodged out of the way, but now he took aim and fired the flintlock right at the smiling idiot.

Sans still managed to dodge, driving the rabbit further into anger. Suddenly, a dragon skull almost as big as the fudge monster in the candy kingdom appeared and hit him square in the torso. It hurt like hell, but it couldn’t kill Jax.

“Hey stupid! I’m a human, not an NPC like you! You can’t exactly kill me!”

Sans stopped for a second. The rabbit’s words had confused him. Human? But this… thing clearly wasn’t human… right? Before he could ponder this question too much, he saw the bunny take aim again and dodged the bullet. Jax, now going to desperate measures to get one hit on the skeleton, pulled out a minigun he stole from the rig and opened fire on Sans.

Sans dodged all the bullets, but the constant assault was wearing him down. Very early in the battle, he decided to use his pre-special attack. Jax dropped his minigun as he was slammed from wall to wall, but he knew now how to dodge to bones. After hitting all for walls, he had to dodge around a bunch of bones.

”Is that all you got?!?” taunted Jax.

Sans’ smile widened as he stretched the box and sent the rabbit flying down the hall. Jax, not expecting this, was forced to twist his digital body in a way no normal body could to avoid the stream of bones down the hall he now zoomed down. He collided sharply with a wall and had to jump as yet more bones came at him. After that, yet more dragon skulls tried to blast him, forcing him to run screaming in circles. Finally, the blasters stopped, but then the skeleton grabbed him again and started outright pounding him against the walls.

At long last, all was silent. Jax was sprawled on the floor, flat as a pancake, while Sans was nearby, gasping and wheezing after all the effort he had used. Jax peeled himself up off the ground.

Holy shit, that hurt. This is the most brutal NPC that Caine’s ever made, thought Jax. He noticed the skeleton kneeling nearby. “Whassa matta with you bone man? All tuckered out?” Jax grinned malevolently, knowing his victory was within his grasp. Sans got to his feet.

“welp, guess it’s time for my special attack.” he said, grinning at the rabbitoid. Jax prepared himself, expecting bones, dragon skulls, or walls to rush him at any minute. But nothing came.

“So uhhh… wherezit at?” he asked.

Sans grin broadened. “this is my special attack. it’s nothing. and it ain’t gonna be anything either.”

Jax was puzzled. “You mean… you give up? Wow guess i’m better than even I thought.” He reached for one of his guns, but found there were none. No matter, he thought, i’ll just punch this guy into oblivion he stepped forward, and was instantly teleported back.

“nope. can’t attack yet. it’s not your turn.”

Jax narrowed his eyes. “You mean we’ve been fighting on the honor system this whole time?! That’s the stupidest shit i’ve ever heard!” He started running at the skeleton, but kept being teleported back.

Sans stared at him. “yep, common courtesy. i attack you, you attack me, so one so forth. an eye for an eye socket.”

“Quit… With… The… PUNS!!!” Jax yelled trying desperately to get at the skeleton, but no matter what he tried, he couldn’t get near him. This was too much for Jax. He wasn’t used to being unable to reach his goals, and now the ultimate NPC stood before him and he couldn’t kill him. Now laughing like a maniac, Jax started actually clawing at the invisible force driven between him and his adversary. Suddenly, black goop started running out of every orifice in his face. He doubled up, cackling, as the goop consumed him, sprouting multi-colored eyes all over his body. Jax had abstracted.

End of battle

Thoughts

This battle was hard to think about. As Jax technically can’t die, and Sans only dies if you don’t move during his final attack, this was tricky. Like I said, it all boils down to Sans’ final attack. In a battle of wills, who would win? Jax would have had to sit and do nothing for 5 minutes before getting the chance to strike at Sans, and I honestly couldn’t see him doing that (impatient bastard).

SANS WINS!

Do you agree with this? Lemme know in the comments how this would have gone in your mind. I read all comments and am really curious to hear your thoughts! :)

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