bat butch

blowjob? more like nojob! #unemployed

blowjob? more like job blows! #employed

All of the Beatles dying in a glue trap

[trying to insult a person's dog-like devotion to someone but not wanting to make them sound too cool about it] keep your fucking dog in a purse

at the risk of sounding like a raving lunatic, i think one of my favorite trekkie memes/posts is that one where someone comments on a screenshot of tos and asks if sulu is texting, because it PERFECTLY encapsulates star trek's strange little place at the intersection of pop culture and the tech world:

like listen... 55+ years ago a bunch of actors had to use a mix of existing habits and wild imagination to come up with what they felt would be believable movements and muscle-memory for someone using completely unbelievable tech a few hundred years in the future. like tv had less than ten channels and the screen was a foot across, and they had to go "ok how would someone who's used to a tiny wireless gadget with a screen hold it and use it? how would they talk to a computer? how would the computer sound when she talked back?"

and over half a century later our own tech has surpassed the clunky retrofuture gizmos in so many ways, no doubt inspired by it, that now someone two decades into the 21st century sees an actor in the 60s holding some tiny rectangular plastic prop in both hands and immediately recognizes it as "oh, sulu's texting!" now THAT is a called shot. hell, that's putting your money on a roulette wheel in a casino that hasn't been built yet. i LOVE it. it's so star trek. sulu is absolutely texting.

i like when tv show promotional content is just all the actors standing on a grey background. thank you ive learned nothig and feel nothing about these people

ive seen all these of these showsand i think these are so funny. we need to advertise so we are sending you to the fucking grey void

what am i doing

I loveee fantasy settings doing magical exhaustion:

Druid, low on magic: I'm [coughs up flowers] fine.

time to get a delicious tea drink from my favorite crone, boba yaga

then I will go to an exercise class led by my favorite instructor, baba yoga

the tumblr version of walter white & jesse pinkman is literally what the canon version of what phoenix wright & apollo justice are like

Stormé DeLarverie singing "There Will Never Be Another You" in Michelle Parkerson's "Stormé: The Lady of the Jewel Box" (1987)

full doc available now on the internet archive!

nothing scarier than being a fan of a fic and then becoming mutuals with the author. like hi shakespeare. big fan of your fake dating au

buy here

"please advise" is the professional email equivalent of "girl help"

I just realized that many many people have jobs

Rb with your job, wtf do you people do while offline???