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@thebluewizardsaregay

legolas is my spirit animal

Ok but like fr this show wasn't nearly as bad as it was made out to be cmon we got to see Numenor and Lindon and Eregion etc on screen for the first time and they nailed the scenery and architecture of middle earth like yeah they fucked up the storyline a bit but there was some deep lore touched upon in there that shows they actually read the material

I know Iโ€™ve said it before but really, the Hobbit is nothing but a Heist Story where the twist is that theyโ€™re stealing from a dragon! Itโ€™s literally Oceanโ€™s 11 but itโ€™s Thorinโ€™s 14!

The story is about a sheltered fussy gay old bachelor learning to become a master Burglar! Thereโ€™s a sequence where the protagonists all get sent to fantasy-prison by the elf-cops and Bilbo has to break them out! This is why the Hobbit is such a good childrenโ€™s book. because itโ€™s about how crime is fun and the best way to get out of your comfort zone and make friends is by pulling wacky heists!

I think my favorite moments in the Hobbit are the ones where Burglarly is described in the way authors would usually describe Knighthood: in glowing terms, as an honorable profession with a deeply respectable history. Being good at Breaking the Law and Thieving is something worthy of accolades and praise (as long as youโ€™re stealing for Honorable reasons). I love things like, the moment where the Elf-King wishes Bilbo a good day with the line:

โ€œMay your shadow never grow less (or stealing would be too easy).โ€

Tolkien understood that epic fantasy stories are the best when theyโ€™re actually heist stories in disguise!

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