Wheel of Monsters

Image © @bowelfly

[April Fools! Like previous April Fools' monsters I've done, this is intended to be fully usable at table, just... weird. Most of my previous April Fools monsters have been pop culture references, and this one is, just a little slantwise. The expression "wheel of monsters" has been rattling around my head for years, inspired by game shows and game show parodies like Wheel of the Worst. The monsters its summons pulls from by default are mostly ones on the Codex, but I've included guidelines on how to customize it if you don't want to look up a whole bunch of bespoke stat blocks (assuming, of course, anyone actually uses this abomination at table).]

Wheel of Monsters CR 15 CE Aberration This thing is a quadruped with a long tail and clawed limbs, but its semblance to sane life ends there. Instead of a head, it has a vertically oriented dial with twelve facets, each with a different combination of eyes, teeth and strange glyphs. A single eye sits in the center of the wheel atop the axle. Spikes protrude forward from the edge of the wheel, plucked by a stinger at the end of a long tail. Said tail also has a strange flap on it that has the appearance of a sign, or possibly scoreboard.

The wheel of monsters is a strange tool in the service of the Dominion of the Black. They were invented by the daelkyr Harsanash, whose interests lie in the role that chance events play in increasing entropy and the downfall of complex systems. The wheels of monsters exploit chance by generating random spells and summoning random monsters, drawn from distant worlds under Dominion control or the depths of the Dimension of Dream. These far-flung summons have already had disastrous effects, as now both the quori and beholders know about Golarion and its corner of space, and gaze upon it with envious eyes.

Despite their grotesque appearances, wheels of monsters are quite intelligent—geniuses by the standards of humanoids. They tend to have something of a split personality; obsequious and loyal to higher ranking Dominion creatures, even less powerful ones, but snide and condescending to most other lifeforms. Most wheels of monsters have a fondness for cracking jokes and giving color commentary during combat. All of its many mouths are capable of speech, and it can alter the pattern and coloration on its tail flap with incredible precision in order to spell out words in any language it knows. A common behavior is to speak primarily through one mouth, with an unctuous tone, while making sounds like crowd noises and cheers with its other maws.

A wheel of monsters is usually on the move in combat, stalking from place to place in order to better make use of their spells. They are excellent climbers and have at least the possibility of flight through their random spellcasting, and so prefer to have a birds-eye view of the action in order to better place monsters or effects. A wheel of monsters keeps its tactics flexible, but almost always summons a monstrous minion as soon as it can to engage foes. In melee, they can sting with their plectrum tails, inducing confusion in foes, and grab with their claws. They prefer to split those attacks up, stinging enemies to disrupt their tactics and then focusing the bulk of their violence on a single target. If a wheel of monsters has a foe grabbed, it lowers its spiked face on top of their victim and spin it, tearing with all of its spikes and teeth simultaneously. When fighting on their own terms, wheels of monsters will gladly flee a losing fight, but gladly sacrifice their lives in order to promote the objectives of their superiors.

Appropriately enough for a creature of weaponized chance, different wheels of monsters may be able to call forth different spells or summons by spinning their wheels. In order to adjust the wheel of monsters’ spellcasting spin, replace some or all of the spells with spells of the appropriate level. A wheel of monsters can call upon two spells of each level from 1st to 6th. In order to adjust the wheel of monsters’ summoning spin, replace some or all of the monsters with monsters of the appropriate challenge rating. A wheel of monsters can summon two monsters of each CR between 8 and 13.

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

tweaking the design of these guys a bit. They're a tiny, solitary, sapient alien that evolved to survive in an endless windstorm. I initially imagined them as sea dwelling, but I think they might work well with a setting I've been tossing around, a little planet dominated by oceans of wheat

They start life as a "mole", a predatory, rat-sized animal that digs complex burrows underneath the wheat. Moles can't talk and don't appear to be sapient, though the subject is contentious (after all, if the solitary, nomadic, unsentimental Larrow didn't, by a quirk of evolution, happen to have such an exceptionally complex vocal range, they'd probably be taken to be animals. Smart animals, maybe, but animals.) The mole stage lasts about 300 years before they develop into the sophont stage, which will only live about 20 or 30 years at most; any culture, art, technology, philosophy, fears, and prejudices the Larrow form are just an accidental byproduct of the mole's mayfly-like breeding season, to be forgotten by the next generation apart from whatever was physically left for them to find. Larrow don't remember being moles, but they dream about it sometimes.

Raffle prize for lovely @holycoffeepersona!~ Thank you for your patience, it was a pleasure to come up and bring to life this character for you ^^💜 This spider lady is based on Argiope Aurantia (yellow garden spider) --------------------------- There's a bonus sketch of her on my patreon

Soon There Will Be Rain (Скоро будет дождь)

Soyuzmultfilm, 1959

Adapted from the Vietnamese folktale Toad is the Uncle of Heaven

[eng sub] [hd]

Here, in its entirety - "HALE-BOPP", a comic drawn back in 2017 for my patreon. Set in the far future, it tells of the Hale-Bopp Dyson tree, the hive men who reside within it, and some extraterrestrial vacuumorphs who attempt to take up residence alongside them.

This story, and more like it, will be coming to kickstarter as part of a sci-fi comic collection called "A Star Called The Sun"... so keep your eyes peeled for it...

Sharing for US followers: 5 Calls is a great website that makes calling your reps easy. Put in your city or zipcode and it will generate a short list of your representatives and senators with both DC and local numbers.

There are several short scripts you can copy verbatim, whether you are passionate about a certain billionaire's overreach, dismantling of US agencies, reproductive rights, trans/LGBT rights, immigration protection, etc.

(If you have phone anxiety, I just did my five calls and got nothing but voicemail. Took me less than ten minutes. Fill their inboxes!!!)

Barracuda

One of 3 new bookmarks I've made to celebrate the release of my new artbook! Ordering starts on January 4th. :D You can get the bookmark itself here or wait till it's available with the book. 💚

Sooner or later leftists will have to deal with the issue that capitalism has made many people used to wanton excess and sooner or later we'll have to legit tell everyone we can't have plastic treats and luxury produce or cruises instantly available year round and it's gonna make so many people mad and call you a big meanie worse than stalin over it. It will not be popular at all but someone's gotta hold a firm no or the planet will never stop collapsing. We can't save the planet by living exactly how we do now just with a communist banner over it we have to take a loss sorry, shein product cycles shouldn't have been normalized to begin with.

The banana discourse really separated the wheat from the chaff of which "lefties" actually want a global workers revolution and which ones just want more stuff to be free

a tender dram for the kind brother

Tootin guy