today's warm up: If it can't see you, it can't get you/The sale of eyemasks go up tenfold in small english town.

y'all know that whole left-brained/right-brained thing is fake right? and the "brain fully develops at age 25" thing? and the "we only use 10% of our brains" thing? yeah they're all complete horseshit please yell at anyone who says them

okay people are doing nuance in the notes about the kernels of truth in neuroscience myths but I really really need you to understand that that is not important here. people don't believe there are "right-brained" and "left-brained" people because they've misunderstood lateralisation of the central nervous system, they believe it because that binary framework was deliberately pushed by people who wanted to define who was logical enough to lead, and surprise surprise, white adult heterosexual men are left-brained. people don't believe the brain "finishes developing at 25" because they've misunderstood life stage differences in neuroplasticity, they believe it because the idea that children, teens, and young adults have inferior brains is a convenient rationalisation for a society that marginalises them. people don't believe you "only use 10% of your brain" because they misread an fMRI study, they believe it because it's useful bullshit for everyone from hyperindividualist historical revisionists pushing the great genius concept of scientific progress to hucksters recruiting for cults that will teach you to unlock your latent telekinesis for just $5000 a month. that's why it's fucking important to know that many popular science ideas are false and to push back on them loudly and frequently, because they're not just mildly incorrect, they are often active components of systems of violence.

My favourite thing in the world is seeing folks act like real human beings around big celebrity personalities

going to get my blood tested and dr acula and nurse feratu walk in. hope everything is ok

...THIS.

God grant me the strength to do the things I enjoy

The funniest part about liking Serious Angst Themes while simultaneously fixating on a silly blorbo from my show is that 13 year old me would be writing the exact same type of fanfics as me now. Real tragedy enjoyers know ts for life

Me: what if my favorite characters smoked cigarettes ans has severe trauma 😈

13 year old me: And drank alcohol and had horrible coping mechanisms too

Me: thats badass. I like the way you think

13 year old me: stop saying cusswords my mom Will get mad

Me: sorry

13 year old me: why are you a boy

Me: We're getting off topic.

Fun tags on this post

pink moon.

I feel like this is the kind of thing you only reblog if you have an aesthetic blog, which I do not, but goddammit I just love it when the moon lines up with stuff

dandelion sun~

Reblog to give a hug, a forehead kiss, and a grilled cheese cut diagonal to the person you reblogged it from. 

so. my wife came downstairs just as i took a bite out of the remaining half red onion on the counter. literally within seconds of just getting away with it. i looked at her, and she looked at me, and we both sat there a moment, all frozen, beforeshe said babs, what the fuck. i tried to say i can explain but it came out as or corn explorn because such was the onion in my mouth that there was no room for words. its honestly a miracle that she understood me at all. at least, i'm assuming that she understood me because she did let me get my bearings for a few moments. a smarter man would've used that time to think up a good lie, but instead i just chewed as fast as i could because i knew i was gonna have to tell a whopper and i really wanted to be able to use big words again.

big words are instrumental to telling a whopper.

anyway, i totally ran out of time. i barely got my first swallow of onion in before she said well?, and i did at least have an empty mouth to match my empty head. but also i had no lies. so i looked her dead in the face, opened my mouth and waited, every bit as curious as her, to hear what excuse my mouth was gonna come up with.

im pregnant, said my mouth.

great job, mouth, said my brain.

mmmmm onion, said my mouth.

better you than me, said my wife. then she went upstairs. it has been two hours she still refuses to kiss me. im devastated. im shook. im crying a little, i think.

(but that might just be the onion.)

Okay but now I have to know

What was the truth??

Because it simply cannot be as obvious as “what, I like onions”

It can’t

Because that would not need a lie

I know people who eat onions like apples simply for pleasure

I don’t understand them, but they say “what, I like onions”, and we both shrug, and they carry on

Also. Was. Was the plan to eat the whole thing? Just no more half red onion? Because the alternative form of “getting away with it” was you were planning to put it back with a bite taken out of it before she came in and that is if anything more unhinged

okay so i do this thing that i call tummy tacos where i put all the ingredients to a taco in front of me, but like, separate. and then i take big bites of all of them. but just one at a time. like one big mouthful of taco chicken and then swallow and then a separate big mouthful of chopped cabbage and then swallow and then a corn tortilla and you get the idea.

(my wife considers it Barbaric. she does not approve of tummy tacos.)

but yesterday i had this idea for stomach pico de gallo there i was gonna eat an onion and then a tomato and then a jalapeno and then some cilantro. thud achieving salsa internally. but i underestimated the call of the onion. i really could give a damn about everything else after the onion. i felt the love of jesus in that onion.

and thus i fell into folly.

Babs, were you going to just rawdog a jalapeno?

no i was planning on eating it

lets all give it up for the telephone dialpad

This continues to be a top contender for favorite tweet

when something confirms my biases.... ohohohhhhh! fuck yes! awesome! i like that!! lets go!!!!when something challenges my worldview...... oooobhhh i dont like that..... not one bit........