Check this out Miss Bowling!

a few weeks ago i needed worcestershire sauce for a recipe but i didnt have any so i had to leave it out.

u are never gonna believe what i found in the cabinet today, unopened, probably has been there for months,

😔yuuuuuuup. my house is fucked

colorblind pride flag just dropped

Hamlet as a D&D paladin.

Keep reading

some gems of insight from the reblogs (@aspiring-protagonist​ and @moderndayathena​):

Weren’t you listening? He’s praying. GOES HARD AS FUCK

THIS!! THIS SCENE!!

Everyday I come across people who say ‘oh he was a procrastinator, oh he could have killed his uncle at anytime why didn’t he’

And everyone who says that is Missing. The. Point.

we do need to revisit the wording of "you can't have your cake and eat it too" because i don't think it clearly enough conveys that it's more that you can't simultaneously retain a cake and also get to consume it (which would render you cakeless). for years i was like But why not....it's my cake....?

this fucking problem is how they caught the unabomber

hey you should uh. elaborate. for my own personal satisfaction

the unabomber was pedantic about idiomatic phrases like "have your cake and eat it too" and rephrased it to "eat your cake and have it too" (which to be very fair makes sense). fast forward to when he starts writing manifestos. he uses the phrase word for word in his pedantic style and his brother (who has been keeping his eyes on the unabomber shit for obvious reasons) notices the phrase and is like "oh fuck that's my fucking brother no one else fucking says that" and calls in an FBI tip

Well you can't deliberately speak in a way nobody else does and also stay anonymous you know. Can't eat your cake and have it too.

I love speed runners

to those asking: welcome to restaurant%, where you help ganondorf rebuild his life as a humble restaurant owner by building a restaurant around him as fast as possible without getting murked

I saw this video the other day! If it’s not immediately obvious, the “booth” is made out of indestructible parts, and enclosing Ganon in them breaks his AI so he no longer attacks.

This is genuinely the best speedrun challenge I've ever seen. I will think of nothing else for weeks, probably.

time sensitive question how flirt boy

thanks guys

PHRASE ADDED!

COMBO!!! COMPLETE POST ADDED!

nosferatu (2024) is so fucking funny. they did this joke twice

"I wonder how Thomas is doing"

Thomas:

Vote with your heart not with your pussy

i love six o clock because the clock looks so stupid. "|" like get real

Tumblr constantly has gems like this where someone says something seemingly inane but it’s actually a thought we’ve all had at some point in our lives

listen this isn’t rat related but I’m going off the walls right now this is literally so fucking funny

orange bear puppet: i think tutter’s looking a little tired, don’t you?

tutter (mouse puppet): [panting and screaming]

Out of Touch

Best day of the week!

It’s Thursday!

Tomodachi Lifes biggest new feature vs. Miitopias biggest new feature