fagging it up

did u just harden ur heart

my arms are huge and enormous (what?)

your arms are little and small (okay!)

but when the wizard transform us (who?)

it dont make a difference at all (no way!)

im drinking the water (im shaped like a mouse)

im eating the wood (cause im shaped like a mouse)

im drinking the water (im shaped like a mouse)

it tastes just like water (some things never change)

i just dont believe the beatles ever recorded or produced any music at all

You like Caesar salad? Now imagine it was called Penis salad. Not so appetizing anymore, is it?

💀💀💀💀💀

Wait why doesn't the narcissist have eyebrows

How do you think the dark empathy got in

recently my elderly shattered-up phone started letting me charge it to 107% which I've been using to get let's just say a little bit extra out of it on long days

added benefit that this makes it crazy warm and soft so I use it to warm up my coat when it's cold outside

to be honest with you it's swollen as fuck and that's why I'm rocking with it

Swollen batteries are incendiary explosives.

this one's just a phone

if it was a bomb and not a phone I couldn't make a call on it, but I can because it's a phone, although it will be to the fun department instead of the fire department

respectfully, ma'am, phone and bomb are not mutually exclusive descriptors

I'm not gatekeeping I'm just speaking from my presently lived experience

When you start speaking from your formally lived experience, be sure to let us know!

I already live every day with undue formality and noble grace

I'm not a technician so I don't really see how this applies to me

I genuinely can't tell if you're being stupid on purpose

when you feel that way it's a sign that I'm being smart

more brians

My ford got a hydrolic module with a jumping bean in it

bro are drivers insane? That's like the second car-related post on Tumblr with the amount of hatred literally not seen under any other type of post ever

Yeah the jumping bean makes the car jump over/across

Road rage is so bad because it's the same rage anyone would feel at a computer working wrong, (slow internet, program not doing what you want, whatever), but it raises the stakes to "possibly literally life or death".

Basically it works by containing the power of the mexigan jumping bean to fire the cylanders inside of the wheel hydraulics and create a massive jumping force

im a eternal forest for insects

women.. yea,g

sorry for not streaming its just that ive been chased around by 3,000 large swarming beetles every day

man come on

this is horrible

@funky-dealer do you live in the papa louie universe how do you have access to the fucking wretched onion sauce?

so what bro

a watched pot lowkey boils fast as fuuuuuck

could i get a small fry and a thousand cups of water please

FUCKKKKKKK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

So funny when there aren't any good public domain photos of a person so the wikipedia article has to have a really low quality one but this solution is a new one to me.

they should make a videochame for consoles