Screenshot from this morning I thought was funny

Girl wearing a collar and leash with a big orange vest that reads "Therapy Dog" cheerfully ordering two cheeseburgers for herself and the socially anxious girl holding the other end of the leash

if you think about it sisyphus was the first rock and roll legend

if you think about

it sisyphus was the first

rock and roll legend

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

*LOUD THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE*

Here’s a good one

People have written a lot of touchy-feely pieces on this subject but I thought I’d get right to the heart of the matter

[The artist, putting a simple cake next to a much fancier one: “Aw man, that guy’s cake is way better than mine.” The Audience, gleefully holding up a knife and fork “HOLY SHIT! TWO CAKES!”]

additions from the og artist (credit)

“Holy shit two cakes,” I mutter to myself as I do fucking anything these days, this post was a godsend

“holy shit, two cakes” should be an official part of Tumblr vocab.

“holy shit, two cakes”

should be an official part

of Tumblr vocab.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

more

aquarium advertisments say stuiff like discover the longtooth grouper this friday

I see that, and raise you my local aquarium's advertising.

Vancouver Aquarium has similar ads!

They also have some SERIOUSLY inventive ones:

(High and Low Tide ^)

the only type of advertising that should exist: "ooooohhhh you want to come look at the animal"

masks that cover the face but leave the eyes visible give someone a deeply personal character - they present someone as a thinking, feeling person first and foremost, and anonymise them physically.

on the other hand, masks that cover the face but leave the mouth visible do the opposite - they present someone as a body, a visceral and physical being. where the eyes subjectify, the mouth objectifies them.

the implications of nose reveal are astounding

hey man. i didn't see you at the ambient red lighting and horse store. you ok man?

This is the kind of post that is baffling until you see the next post and it’s a store with a horse in it but everything’s red. except. there is no second post

chillin at the ambient red lighting and horse store.

THE WHAT

IVE BEEN HANGING OUT WITH MY FRIEND FOR LIKE A YEAR NOW AND IT TURNS OUT WE KNEW EACH OTHER AND WERE FRIENDS WITH EACH OTHER PRETRANSITION

we we’re talking about how we had a mutual friend and how that was so wild and then they mentioned another friend i knew and i was like “yeah i played soccer with them both in the park” and my friend was like “wait does your deadname start with a C” and it turns out she was also there and we just had no idea who each other was this entire time till now

This is fucking wild

This is half a plot for a modern Shakespearean comedy of errors.

the surprising amount of art of furries shooting insane ropes but having a completely unaffected facial expression is so strange to me . and thats as an unemotive austistic person

i dont understand this genre of porn

me cumming my penis

Nonbinary.net/careers

i recently had the honour of introducing my friend to the “[blank]er? i hardly know ‘er!” joke by loudly exclaiming “liquor? i hardly know her!!” during a party, causing my friend (never heard the joke before) to laugh so hard she threw up

[coughing up blood] please, I require... media that will make me feel as bad as is physically possible...

what kind of five act tragedy is befalling the national hockey league