Im sorry but it is so funny how people outside of tumblr view us. Like why are the tiktokers treating tumblr like some professional ass website you need to do extensive prep before you begin posting on. And the follower farming advice is so fucking funny to me when this is the website where people actively hate getting new followers

this is my aesthetic:

Listening and learning

SERVICE DOG PSA

So today I tripped. Fell flat on my face, it was awful but ultimately harmless. My service dog, however, is trained to go get an adult if I have a seizure, and he assumed this was a seizure (were training him to do more to care for me, but we didn’t learn I had epilepsy until a year after we got him)

I went after him after I had dusten off my jeans and my ego, and I found him trying to get the attention of a very annoyed woman. She was swatting him away and telling him to go away. So I feel like I need to make this heads up

If a service dog without a person approaches you, it means the person is down and in need of help

Don’t get scared, don’t get annoyed, follow the dog! If it had been an emergency situation, I could have vomited and choked, I could have hit my head, I could have had so many things happen to me. We’re going to update his training so if the first person doesn’t cooperate, he moves on, but seriously guys. If what’s-his-face could understand that lassie wanted him to go to the well, you can figure out that a dog in a vest proclaiming it a service dog wants you to follow him

oh dear. pour one out for @staff today folks

(for those of you who have been living under a rock since late 2019, automattic owns tumblr)

Ah so that’s why there wasn’t anything for April Fools

You can survive almost anything through the right combination of:

real and true

truuuuuuu my pet koi read this and went straight for ma clit

Trump is all like "Australians sell their beef to us, but they won't buy any of ours 😡"

Which.... yeah? Of course???? Why would we import external beef from so far away when we produce more than enough to meet our own needs??

Not to mention that USA still has both mad cow disease and foot and mouth disease, but Australia doesn't -- AND America has increasingly lax commercial-level health and safety standards, meaning the risk of pathogens like MCD/F&M spreading through the US are significantly increased, and we don't have either here in Australia, so of course we don't want to import beef from a country that could conceivably spread the diseases to us???

But even aside from that. There are not that many Australians. But there are a lot of Americans. AND Australians eat an average of 23.4 kilos of beef per year but we produce 2.2 million tonnes. We produce WAY more beef than our population eats. So of course we don't import much????? And of COURSE it's not from America, which is both significantly further away than our current importers (primarily New Zealand and Japan), AND which has significantly lower health and safety regulations than we do????

Meanwhile, Americans average aprox 37 kilos of beef per person per year, but produces around 12.4 million tonnes. USAs population is 12 times larger than ours but only produces 5 times more beef than we do, AND consumes more per capita than we do. Of course USA imports large quantities of beef. Because their domestic production doesn't meet their domestic demand. Meanwhile Australia's production vastly outweighs our domestic demand, so of course we don't import American beef?????

Thats...... that's how imports and exports are supposed to work???? You export excess of what you have to someone who has less of it, and in turn, they export to you the produce/products that YOU don't have. This is fucking basic??????????

"Waahhh, Australia won't import American beef 😭😡" yeah???? Of course we don't????????

PLUS!!!!! Overall, Australia imports 34 billion dollars worth of stuff from America per year. Meanwhile America only imports $16 billion from us.

Putting tariffs on a country that imports more from you than they export to you is uhhhhhhhhh, FUCKIN' STUPID. If america tariff everything we send to them it's on all of $16b worth of stuff. If we tariff everything of theirs then we'll be slapping taxes on more than double what they can tax us.

Trump is such a fucking moron.

Does this man not understand that the point of trade is to swap what you have an excess of for what you don't have enough of

Why would we export masses and masses of beef only to import large amounts of inferior quality beef from the same people we just sold beef to

Does he think the USA is exporting large quantities of oil to Saudi Arabia?

I'm pretty sure he thinks trade is... like, solely about stock increases. I don't think he is thinking in terms of material items that are used at all, more in terms of, like, house flipping. If he's thinking about it at all, I bet he's thinking "we add so much value to Australian beef by buying theirs, why aren't they doing the same for us? I'm scratching their back, why aren't they scratching mine?" Like it's being a stockholder in [AUSBEEF] or whatever rather than us buying huge amounts of LITERAL PHYSICAL BEEF from Y'all

Discworld style pork futures warehouse

So, I follow this “bad commercial interior design” Facebook page and-

have you ever shipped something so hard that you become irrationally happy and make a sound akin to steam escaping from a kettle everytime they so much as stand next to eachother

[grandma voice] back in my day, sonny, we called it “squeeing”.

i miss her (dashboard unfucker)

i miss her too, nameless stranger

they fucking killed me. they erased me

Good news! It's now a Firefox extension, and the latest tumblr web UI update is already unscrongled.

including a fire based fox-adjacent critter in your firefox extension update post was an inspired choice

hope this explains it

it does and I hate it, thank you

important update

Funny how depending on who's saying it and where, the words "dark fantasy" could mean that the work contains a hardcore questionably ethical kink scenario, or it could mean that at some point there might be some kind of a Skeleton King.

This is why accessibilityis so important.

To everyone saying they recognize the program this was made in and thinks this was an architectural software — NO IT WASN’T. This is a player wearing an orca avatar in an MMO at a public humiliation/exposure fetish place and as soon as the orca entered that place he found it was a bunch of real life photographs of old guys bending over and exposing their assholes. After staring at a certain German guy’s picture for too long the guy in the picture noticed this (he was zoomed in) and messaged the orca some shit like “does Sir like what he sees?” “the slave thanks you for looking.” the orca didn’t have the social skills to handle this, tried to be polite, panicked, tried to turn around but since the avatar is so big it was like the Austin Powers truck driving scene and every way he turned he saw more babyboomer asshole. how do i know this? that orca, was me

I'm sorry but Silksong being announced via a 5 second clip buried in the middle of a Nintendo Direct is so funny. Can you imagine if Valve pushed a Steam client update and somewhere deep in the patch notes is "btw Half Life 3 coming this year"

Reminder: it’s okay to be excited and disappointed about the Switch 2

It’s so cute that gorgug and riz watched Fabian dance joyfully into the night together while sitting in trees that are cradling and singing to them softly, and then it’s hilarious that telemaine comes out of nowhere and forces gorgug to eat a flower. Great stuff.

The Bad Kids Are Funny because they're all fairly violent and get really aggro really quickly (hey that's what you get for making a highly competent adventuring party a bunch of teenagers who don't go to therapy) but then Riz is somehow just two steps above everyone else and they barely acknowledge it. Fury of the Ball is the most wonderful thing.

The "face" of their party around school would probably be like Fig or Fabian, maybe Gorgug. Wow they're so strong aha. Hey who do you think is the most brutal, probably the half-orc barbarian who seems to mostly repress his rage until it's time to throw down right? Right?? No it's the little guy in the corner. Yeah, the one who just hid in the shadows and now you can't see him anymore. Yeah, he shot a pixie's fingers off one by one to get information, yeah, he ate a live dragon, yeah, he offered to tear someone's eye out for his best friend, yeah, he said the words "make sure his head is cut off so he can't be revivified" about another student. Yeah, he's a fucking goblin and so unapologetic about it at this point.

I always imagine his "fury" (which is a goblin trait which implies Sklonda has it too btw, never forget) being like oughhh pupils blown so wide, hair standing up, hissing claws out, kill maim stab. Just for a few seconds. You can elect to use it after hitting, I imagine him sinking his sword into a big meaty enemy and going "hm wow this guy's pretty tough. I need him dead though. Needs to die." and he twists the blade puts his whole weight in it and just drags it down no matter what's in the way. It HAS to be so gross and brutal every time and his friends are just like oh there he goes, the Ball cleaning up again.

Especially fun with the Kipperlilly thing. Oh two rogues fighting without sneak attack, that's gotta be a slow careful battle where they chip away at each other. Oh she does like seven damage rushing past him, oh he's gonna do the same wait never mind he uses his fury he stabbed her SO badly. No rogue finesse no show about it just the intent to kill. Kid with traumatic past does in fact end up fucked and it isn't actually fun or quirky or interesting, who would have thought. Shoutout to hold person over the lava that goes disgustingly hard and is also so gruesome, imagine being paralysed and watching yourself fall into a pit that will burn you alive.

The thing with classic rogues is that you're "dead before you know you're being attacked" and it's "quick and easy and possibly painless" but if Riz kills you it's gonna hurt. You're gonna know and it's gonna hurt but hey high chance you don't get to do anything about it still. Phenomenal character.