My boys won't hesitate to come out for you boy.

You don't mind people asking about your genre. Well, you usually don't mind it. Whenever and wherever, you really don't mind it. But sometime - like, right now, you just want to rip your hair off your scalp and yell until people's eardrum explode. Yeah, it's either this or that, there's no in-between when it comes to this question.

And unfortunately for you, the second option seems to be the least effective given the situation, yet it is the one who appeals you, very much - way too much.

"How hard are the choreographies for you?"

You think the addition of those pitiful words 'for you' is really unnecessary. Well, the person asking you this is almost fifty for God's sake, they should know how to behave like a proper adult, shouldn't he? But here you are, smiling because 'no, you can't answer misogynistic remarks or it will be detrimental to your reputation'. But what about their reputation, huh? You absolutely hate the fact that Korea is one of those countries where most of the men treats women like they are dirt under their feet. Did they came out of their father's a**?!

"Oh, I can assure you that I have no problems with the choreographies. And even if I do have some troubles some time, I just stay in the practice room in order to get better and show the very best side of myself for our fans."

You practiced your speech, you know it like the back of your hand - well you need to when you are a girl in a boy group, in Korea, what a pain. The interviewer seems upset about the way you react to this awful question - who even employed him? This is a question a baby could ask, did he even work on his interview? And you smile. It's bitter-sweet because you don't want to smile, but you enjoy seeing the tip of his ears turning red.

You just know that Sunoo, who's sitting right in front of you, is smiling like a little psychopath - from your point a view, fans tend to think that he has a pretty smile, you too, but sometimes you just know that he's not smiling for the good reason; like now, he's just making fun of the old man in front of you.

"Yeah sh's very hardworking! She always stay up late in order to practice."

Jake spit out this lie like he was born to do so. But it does not surprises you, Jake is used having his way with everyone, he just have to blink those round pretty puppy eyes and everyone believe whatever nonsense that come out of his mouth. You both know that you're probably this first member that gets home when practice is done - you're a bit lazy, but just a bit.

Jake defending you was just the right thing for the interviewer to babble the rest of his nonsense.

"I heard you all live in the same dorm? Isn't it a bit hard to accommodate to her way of living? Do you guys share a bathroom?"

You laugh out loud because you just can't help it. You're glad that your occidental fans will be on your side because else, you would be in trouble. At this point you don't really know if this journalist want a scoop or you to get angry in front of the cameras, only to post it later and label you as disrespectful.

"Yeah, I'm glad we can talk about it. She uses all the hot water and stay in the bathroom for hours! Women"

Jay is the first to answer the odd question with the exact answer the journalist was aiming at: a cliché. The way the American is looking at you is just enough to tell you that he concluded the same thing. Once again, you notice how the two native-english people were the first to speak. The three of you are not used to this king of treatment, you guess it's the reason why they're the first to speak up.

"Not longer than Sunoo."

The ever so innocent Sunghoon tries to contest the inside joke that you and Jay were having, fearing that it might upset you and be inappropriate given the situation you were in. He tries to defend you, it's cute.

"Hey, that's not true!"

You all look at him because what is 'not true' is what he just said. And he even have the nerve to act surprised and outraged - well, as much as is cute pretty face allows him to be, you only see a little dumpling growing its non-existing eyebrows.

"Well, maybe a bit. How else my skin could be this smooth?"

"I must admit that I'm a bit jealous. Sunoo is prettier than me, and im a girl!"

You insist on the last word. It's like a big fuck you to the bald man in front of you - he's not really bald, but he deserves to be bald. Sunoo turns all the way to send you a heart with his fingers - you really like how his cheeks get fuller as he smiles brightly at you, he looks pure. He looked far from pure when those same cheeks were pressing on your inner thighs- Oh. This is definitely not the time nor the place.

You don't really know what happened but the interview continue without any other dumb questions and you're allowed to breath for a few minutes. Well, you try. It's like your mind is polluted with the exact images the grown man was accusing you off - well those accusations, the second one only, are kinda true. You can't remember a day you were alone in the bathroom, and it's even harder to remember when you were not corrupting every once of that same bathroom with...impure things?

You all get back to the changing room, waiting for the company car to arrive.

"What a prick."

Sunoo is the first one to talk, almost lying toward the couch to have at least a sit - or alf a seat, both option seems appealing given the fact that he has to compete against seven people for the comfort of a cushion under their bum; the chair were not comfortable.

"Yeah, I hope our fans give him a bad reputation. They're quite good at that."

"This is mean and you know it."

You answer Heeseung while crossing your arms, almost sulking at the mere idea that this man would be hunted down for just being raised like this.

"Yeah? He has nor right talking to you like that. And impplying those things."

"Implying? Was he?" you chuckle and uncross your arms, eating toward your jacket that was left on one of the coat rack in the corner of the room. A brief flashback of approximately two days ago floods your memory and you're left breathless and a bit hot and bothered at the memory of Sunghoon's lips on your neck, his hand between your thighs. You are grateful you are not facing, otherwise you wouldn't hear the end of it - they can be persistent in their teasing, you only Lind it when you are the victim (you are still teasing Ni-ki about those pre-pre-debut Twice's video, you might the worse of them all).

"Yeah, but they don't know that." Jake says, unbothered by the whole situation. This little piece of shit is probably the person who doesn't even deserve to talk about this subject. Any chance he gets, he's stealing the air from your lungs - and your panties, but only when you are in the dormitory.

"Still, no one deserves to have their life ruined because of the way they think, if that makes sense?"

"Your Korean is getting better."

You smile softly at Jungwon, patting his head as you walk around the mini-couch, "Your English too."

You really want to hug him, or sit on Jay's laps because it's literally the best sit ever, or burrow your frame into Sunghoon's warm embrace. But you can't really do that here. Anyone can enter the room and everyone can take pictures, you wouldn't risk it.

But you don't mind it. There's always time for you to enjoy the presence of your boyfriends. And you can also enjoy the way they fight tooth and nail for your 'honor' - their words, not yours.

There's always light at the end of the tunnel

Are panic attacks something that you fear, or have? Not at all. You know what they are, you can try to understand how people feel when they are having one. But since you've never been the one to have it, you don't really understand, you don't...feel it.

Sometimes, you're a witness - it's not something that one would willingly witness for it can create some awkward thoughts and clumsy actions. A thing that people don't tell you, it's how you feel when you actually get to witness a panic attack. It's like you're having one too, especially when the person having it is close to you. You don't know what to do, what to say - should you hold his hands or let him breathe? would it be weird ask him if they're alright - spoiler alert, it is. But it's not something that is taught in school, something that people are aware of - like how you should or shouldn't behave in front of a wild animal. Yet it should.

But you were fine standing in the side lines. The only person who ever had a panic attack in front of you was Jisung. Don't get me wrong, he is your Sweet Cheeks - no one should ever tell him that this is his nickname in your phone, he would get cocky - you partner in crime and your bud. But by fearing how he saw you, you never quite acted during one of his moments. Maybe you were worried - you can be quite something at time. Maybe you were too much, as one of the kids was always here for him, even if you were there before - are you jealous ? A bit.

But it never crossed anyone's mind that this would happen to you. The never ever sleeping little chipmunk high on life. You can congratulate, you've been hiding quite some things under the bed. Things that made the monster sympathize with you. And you thought it was fine, you really thought that someone else needed the attention and the care. It never crossed your mind that there was enough love in the eight's heart for two little anxious chipmunks high on life. But for you're defense - not that anyone blames you - you hadn't seen it coming.

Everything was fine, and then it wasn't. People tend to say that you never get used to the feeling. The overwhelming need to breathe. The first time is always the worse. You don't know what's happening. You are scared, you feel alone, breathless, and you can't hear nor see what's going on around you. And then in a brief moment of clarity it crosses your mind.

Me?

Because you always thought that you were not sad enough for that. And it's the worse that happens. Discovering that you are in fact not alright. That you're dealing with shit bigger than yourself, heavier than what your body can handle. And you fall.

It has never happened before.

Why me?

Why can't I breathe?

Am I dying?

What's wrong with people?

Why are they looking at me?

What's wrong with me?

Someone..?

One moment you're playing with gravels on the ground, the other you're staring blankly at the same spot, eyes unmoving and hands slightly trembling.

Kim Seungmin knows you quite well. Stays know that Sungmin knows you quite well - when you joined the group, a few years later after Stray Kids' debut, it took just a month or two for your ship to be one of the most popular in Stray Kids. It would have been weird, knowing that people were expecting you of fantasizing about a non-existent relationship with one of the youngest. But like it was meant to be, just a month later he was the one to look you in the eyes and tell you what you needed to hear. He was your emotional support. The anchor to your sailing and swaying ship. So yeah, Kim Seungmin might be the one who knows you the best among Stray Kids. And he knows that your eyes usually do not look like one of a dead fish.

He does't move. He stares at the screen displaying the score of each groups competing in the ISAC. Stray Kids' not bad - they're serving, like they usually do. His arms sway awkwardly and he shift his weigh on his right leg. He then looks at you for a brief moment. You're not moving. That's weird, you don't usually stay on the same spot for more than a good twenty seconds.

"What's got your panties in a twist?"

Seungmin hopes that Stay aren't that good at playing detectives and lip reading, because Changbin proved once more that he doesn't give a single fuck about his idol image.

"I'm not mad? What makes you think that I'm mad?"

"Well..." Changbin stops in front of the taller boy, one eyebrow raising as he takes the famous 'pregnant woman pose'. "Why are you asking me? Shouldn't you know?"

For a second - one that dumb Jisung and dumber Hyunjin wouldn't have caught - the singer takes a look at his girl. A brief second. But Seo Changbin do not need more than a second - he is Seo Changbin after all. And what he sees, or understand, do not seem to please him.

"What's up with her?"

He says that with a frown in his face, abandoning his ridiculous posture for one which is more menacing, which could show everyone that something's changed. But Seungmin carefully catches the hem of his vest before the rapper goes toward their ninth member.

If you ask Changbin what he doesn't like about being a K-pop idol, he'd probably say "Nothing" with a smirk on his face. Because Seo Changbin does what he wants and eats what he craves. But if there's one thing that he hates, it's when he can't help people who needs it - especially their female member - because of the repercussion it could have on his group. And he knows it. Seungmin knows it. He is reckless, and they don't need that right. Especially not right now.

A few days later, what happened between them made Stayville go crazy with some cliché videos and compilation of the two men standing close to each other. The famous Seungbin compilations. Little did they know that nothing romantic was happening between them - not at that time anyway.

"Is she..." Changbin's eyes narrowed, looking thoroughly at the young woman as a raw terror and uneasiness flooded his body, "even breathing?"

It was a valid question. To those who were surrounding her and looking close and carefully enough, it was clear that her face was getting paler. Now, it really was worrying.

As if walking into a shop, Seungmin's feet led his straight toward his member, light heartedly and without any sense of urgency. But inside, he felt like bile was rising up his throat, the pure terror hidden behind curtains of hair a unusual and unfitting expression on his girl.

It only seemed normal to crouch next to her and to comfort her with his warm touch - she usually craves it.

If the way you tense up and get slightly away from him is a sign, you clearly don't need it right now, don't even want it. And you have never denied him affection. You always came to him whenever something bothered you - or he would tease the answer out of you, it depends. Why couldn't you bear the mere idea of him touching you right now, when you clearly needed him the most? Why were you refusing the only sense of normalcy in this raging sea of cold water and prickly wreck?

You vaguely discerned the hurt on his face, above the other millions of emotions swimming in his eyes.

"It's okay Seungmin, I got it."

It was a just whisper. Like a siren's voice coming from beneath the surface. What a great parallel, you would have praised yourself in other circumstances. Among all the chaos happenings in and outside your head, you vaguely understood that you were taking somewhere else. It was dark, silent. The light wasn't blinding you anymore, your eyes could rest, the storm was now only raging in your head.

"I can do it... Please."

There's a brief movement that you can't even register in your haze before you feel warm hands engulfing yours. The feeling isn't disturbing, like Seungmin's hand was. You welcome it with a tight grip.

"It's okay to cry, don't hold it."

You really wanted to voice your confusion. Why would you cry? You just felt like you were dying, why would cry help.

"You just have to let it all out. This happens when you bottle up your emotions for too long, then you feel like you can't cry in front of other, or scream, because this is not socially acceptable, so you just hold it in."

The accuracy of the fact was almost scaring. Your eyes, unfocused, tried to identify the silhouettes before you, a choked sob escaping your lips as your legs failed you and you tumbled, your back hitting the cold wall behind you as the silhouettes carefully helped you towards the ground. It was cold. It was nice.

"And when you hold it in, you feel like you can't breathe. Like the world is closing up on you. Everyone is staring, but no one is looking. They can hear you, your thoughts, they can see your deepest secrets, feel how you feel... It's disturbing, isn't it?"

You try to nod, the memory from just a moment ago burning behind your eyelids, the hurt on Seungmin's face. It's not that you don't trust him...

"You just don't want them to see you like this. Vulnerable, pitiful...weird."

Another choked sob escape you, a puff of air leaving your lips, and you feel slightly better as you inhale. Only once, but it's better than zero.

"You don't want them to know that you lied when they asked you if you were okay. You don't want to fail them."

While the words utter by this person seems terribly accurate, it helps soothing the raging storm, which now seems to have been replaced by a grey clouds pouring down on you.

"But you're not failing anyone. They want to help you."

A ray of sunshine.

"It's not wrong to feel those emotions, to experience those episodes."

Another one. It's warm on your skin.

"You're not dying, noting's wrong with you, we're just here and we'll stay as long as you need us. We're not leaving."

Your breathing is back to normal, if not a little shaky, and you feel the ground you're sat on. You never really thought about it. But "There's always light at the end of the tunnel", right?

Your light is warm and comforting, leaving a tingly sensation in your head after each words spoken with care.

"It'll happen again. From now on, you'll have those panic attacks again, at random moments, whenever you feel overwhelmed, whenever you feel." the other silhouette says, his hands hovering over your cheek, not daring touching you. "It's not unusual to refuse help and shy away from the person whose opinion about us is the most important. Seungmin will understand."

And your light has a form and a name, and right now, two rays are shining brightly on you.

You bury your head in Jisung's neck as he wraps an arm around you and let your cry fill the room, Minho's presence on the other side comforting even if not touching you in any way.

"It's gonna be alright, we'll get through it together. You and I."

Jisung's words are not just that: words. It's a promise. At the moment, it doesn't even cross your mind that he sees himself in you, that he feels like it is his duty to help you. The way you're curled up into his chest, tears washing down your face, sobs escaping your lips without interruption. You look like a child. Scared.

But it's alright, because even if you don't know how you'll live with this, you'll manage. Jisung did, and you ought to be just as strong as him. Even if it means hiding from everyone but Minsung. It'll get better overtime, right?

It’s not awkward, thank you for letting me know that you appreciate it!

I put a lot of efforts into it so people visiting my blog could appreciate it, I’m glad it worked :)

Hugs and kisses for you!!

Too lazy I’m just here to serve. Golden shower with Perv!Seungmin

Thinking about how perv!Seungmin would get so horny over you peeing on him while you’re having sex ?? Like you’re riding him nice and slow, and you really thought that you were about to come! But seems like the twisting in your stomach is for another reason.

He would be shocked yet torn between making fun of you and cooing at you because of those sweet tears running down your face. You just feel so ashamed. Little did you know he had this all planned - why do you think he basically shoved 3 bobas down your throat and jumped on you as soon as you got home??

But he really wanted to experience it, to feel your pee dripping down his abs and thighs, warm and slippery. He when he does experience it? He shoot his loads deep in your cunt, hands gripping at your thighs tighter as he hides his smile in your neck.

"Did you just peed yourself? Oh~, that’s fine, don’t cry pup, it was hot, both metaphorically and figuratively. I’ll make sure to return the favor."

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ Choi Beomgyu

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✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ Kang Taehyun

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ Huening Kai

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Owner!Minho being down bad for his cat!gf 🤭

Minho is a menace, we all know that. But when it comes to his cats??? He's a simp. Tell him that and you'll end up in the air fryer. And when it comes to you, his oh! so sweet girl? He's the simpiest little shit ever. You want something? Name it and you'll have it. You're like "I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it".

Thankfully you're not greedy. You're like those cats who run to their owners as soon as they're home; those cats who cuddle up in the crook of their neck when it's time to go to sleep. You spend some of your afternoons bathing in the sun with your three furry friends and some others alongside Minho, making everyone coo at the way you hide behind him or look up at him whenever someone talks to you.

Minho loves you very much. You get the princess treatment every time he sees you, and when he's not here he always make sure to let you know that he cares about you - even if he knows that you being half human means that you're fine being on your own. But he just can't help it sometimes, so he sends delivery to his house to make sure that you eat properly.

Even Jisung is jealous, but not of you! He's jealous of Minho. How can he go back to someone like you? It's a surprise to everyone that you get along that well. It's a surprise to everyone that Minho can hold back his snarky comments whenever he brings you around.