Pinned
HEY YOU!
Are you sick of being beholden to the whims of a corporate bureaucracy that can change at the drop of a hat? Want to be free from the shackles of internet capitalism and experience a free-er, cooler, more independent internet the likes of which hasn't been realized since the early 2000s?
READ THIS
And after you do, or after tumblr dies (and it will, as all monoliths do,) you can follow me at @throatmuppet@seafoam.space
I've more or less been knocked off EBT SNAP Foodstamps, I've been rejected for every single job I've applied for if various skill sets & experiences
cheerleading team who excitedly rut and cum inside the jocks before the big game for good luck
please. i know this ignorance isnโt in your heart. i know you donโt really doubt me. i know i can get your thighs pregnant. let me try again
thinking about my favorite app ever made. save me wide19
how is it mario day and no one posted the essay
Happy MAR10 day, how is this paper only a year old?
ISSUE 947: login login
09 march 2024
i mean what really kills me about the "uhmm your kink is NOT special and NOT immune to critique" shit on here is that actually critiquing and thinking about kink is important to me! and it looks like looking at your desires and scenes and interactions with partners and going "is this something that's bringing me and my partners joy and pleasure? is it sustainable? have we been checking in with one another? what impact is it having on our relationship or as individuals? is it harming us in any ways that haven't been pre-negotiated and accounted for? are our prior negotiated boundaries still in a good place for us currently?" all of which are things that can't be safely encouraged and practiced if the general approach to ~weird~ kinks is "ewwwww ew icky ew BAD you're BAD you're a BAD person you're playing the VILLAIN ๐ " any time you see somebody having sex a different way than you do. and the reaction lately has been this self righteous over the top "how DARE you accuse me of being a Southern Baptist Republican monster for calling you a degenerate" because these people have nurtured a deep reactionary instinct and brought it into line with their queer identity by adhering to the idea that conservative politics can only ever be espoused by the ontologically monstrous figure of The Republican, and that their glorious vision of a mass return to sexual and social normativity by-force-if-necessary is hallowed and queer
LOL whos tye saultry little binch on the bottom lsft????
this post is less than 1% away from being completely incomprehensible
For those that aren't in Australia right now, we have the funniest scandal going on.
Firstly let us introduce you to the eye of the storm: Sam Kerr. Sam is a women's soccer player who has in the last year become one of the most famous and beloved athletes in Australia. Captain of the women's national team, Sam became something of a cult figure after the last Women's Soccer World Cup became a complete unpredicted sensation in Australia, with the whole country getting behind the team.
Sam, up until now, has had probably one of the most squeaky clean images in sport. Generally in Australia it is not uncommon for our sports stars to be caught up in scandals involving drugs:
violence:
drinking their own urine:
or if you're cricket legend Shane Warne, probably all three at once.
Contrasting all this, Sam's image as the squeaky clean saviour for sport made it all the more shocking this last week, when it was announced that Kerr was to face trial after having been charged by the UK police of a "racially aggravated offence" involving a taxi driver.
This was shocking news. Nobody knew what to make of it. Sam was a model for young girls everywhere and a national treasure. "This is why we can't have nice things" screamed the nation. It seemed like all hope was lost.
That is, until, yesterday, when the UK police finally revealed the full details of the case, in which Sam Kerr, sporting legend, was arrested for vomiting in a cab, and then telling an intervening police officer that he was a โstupid white bastardโ.
Now we probably don't need to point out that in Australia, vomiting in a taxi and then calling a cop a bastard is about as close to a national culture as we have.
You could not have come up with a better headline to make someone a national hero.
Needless to say, Sam in now being hailed down under as the greatest legend that ever lived, and a petition has already been started to have her picture added to the $5 note.
The tide has swung so far that not one, but TWO, state Premiers have spoken out in support of Kerr, and the Prime Minister has even gone on the record describing her as "a delight".
And so ends the racial abuse saga of our greatest sports hero of all time, and the very first reverse milkshake duck to ever exist.
Really, our only complaint, nationally, is that she should've called the cop a cunt.
How remiss of us not to include any pictures of the legend herself
