tin🍓

• most if not all are sfw but check tags before reading👍
• organized in no particular order apologies i was lazy this time
• was gonna add little comments to each but i’m now realizing that would take up a huge amt of space so. just know that all of these changed the trajectory of my life. thank u fic authors for all u do🫶

“The art of tarot can be difficult to process, I know,” Al-Haitham says, nodding. “You just have to accept it.” “STOP SAYING THAT,” Kaveh says. Al-Haitham picks a random card from his pile of cards and flips it over to reveal a Genius Invokation HP food card of tandoori roast chicken. “This is going to be your dinner.” “WHY DO YOU KNOW MY DOORDASH ORDER,” Kaveh yells, typing furiously into his phone and brandishing the app in Al-Haitham’s face. “I PLACED THE ORDER RIGHT BEFORE I WALKED THROUGH YOUR DOOR.”

"Senior Kaveh! You're early today." "Of course, I was the one who asked to meet, how could I be late?" Kaveh said, a smile automatically forming on his own face. "I don't know, perhaps you got distracted by another fraudster, asking 'Oh Lord Kaveh, will you build me a house'?" "It was that one time," Kaveh said, his cheeks burning slightly. "You just happened to find me at a bad moment." "Certainly, certainly," the scholar said, mirth in his eyes, “How could anyone possibly fool the great Light of Kshahrewar?”

There's a visiting scholar following Kaveh around, all smiles and sunshine, and Kaveh finds himself torn between his lingering unrequited feelings for a certain someone and this bold newcomer. But Kaveh starts to realise something strange- Alhaitham never appears at the same time as the other guy. Now, as Dehya takes a minute to compose herself and come to terms with the fact that all of this has actually just happened, Dehya turns to look at Al-Haitham and Cyno, reading the absolute resignation on their faces. "Alright, how does she know you're an incredibly athletic swordsman? For all she knows those muscles could be for show. What did you do, do a full work out routine in front of her? Help take down another corrupt regime?" Dehya asks as soon as she's entirely sure that the reporter has been wrestled out of earshot. (Meanwhile, everyone else present has scattered or attempted to erase their presence to become inanimate fixtures in the background.) And then, because this is way more important than that little detail, she continues, "Wow. Damn. I never thought I'd say this, but that reporter is way too into you to be healthy. There's no way you're that hot."

Sethos' new family warns him that Alhaitham and Kaveh can't stand each other. He isn't so sure. Written for the Haikavetham Gotcha for Gaza!

The thing on the floor makes a sound at him. The sound goes something like, Meow. Kaveh had already been recognized as a genius by the time he was learning nursery rhymes, so he is of course very well-acquainted with the sounds and transliterations thereof made by various common animals. In fact, his recall speed for these associations is likely significantly above average. This is why he recognizes so rapidly and adeptly that there is a fucking cat on his floor even though he does not and has never owned a cat. “Meow,” says the cat again. “Yes, I know,” Kaveh says irritably, and then immediately feels bad about it. “I mean.” He clears his throat. “Meow, as well.”

When Kaveh opens his eyes a field of hills sprawls out before him, onward and onwards. A grass sea with waves of hills, dotted in orange and yellow and purple. Kaveh turns his eyes towards the sky and can only imagine what sunrise or sunset must look like from here. Without knowing it, Kaveh is walking out into the grass, barefoot with his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows and the front laces undone and his hair already messy from just waking up and when he breathes in he chokes, he chokes because as the cool grass sea air dances with him laughter blooms in his lungs and he spreads his arms wide like he could scoop it all up into himself. Like he could find the room for it. Maybe he does. Maybe he can. Who knows? The wonderful thing that Kaveh has discovered about having no memories is that he has no limits. He doesn't remember them. He can be anything. He can be a grass sea. He can be an infinite sunrise. He can be beautiful. The Howl's Moving Castle fusion that I, specifically, asked myself for.

“I’ve designed many buildings in my career,” Kaveh begins, the attention of every single person in the crowd fixed on him. “Most of which have been extravagant pieces made to stand tall in our city and glitter.” Kaveh glances down at what must be some notes on the podium, pausing before he looks back up, shining in the bright lights of the stage. “But in recent years, I must admit that my focus has shifted.” Alhaitham leans forward, watching, hoping for something he can't quite admit. Not when the truth is that he’s never known how to say that he is hungry without fear that people will see the truth that he is starving.

In which the entirety of Sumeru gets stuck on reading into something that just isn't there.

Alhaitham has one last job as the Acting Grand Sage of Sumeru - to rescue Sumeru from another potential age of digital slavery. Kaveh was roped in amidst loud wails about his safety and agreed to help Alhaitham in exchange for never having to pay rent again. Features slightly cocky Alhaitham who is romantically oblivious and goofball Kaveh who is equally romantically hopeless.

"I'm me. I promise, I'm me. You don't like soup— you rail at me whenever I make it because you can't eat it when you read your books. You smile at me whenever I fix your headphones for you, whenever I put a peach candy in your mouth. Alhaitham," it sounds like Kaveh's begging. He should never beg. Not when Alhaitham is going to kill him. He's not—