Reblogged
skatedoord
Reblogged squirrellygirlart
do yourself a favor and read “Oh God, Not Again!” by Sarah1281
- it is a harry potter fanfic from like 2009, 160k words, 50 chapters
- basically, adult Harry accidentally goes back in time and wakes up on his 11th birthday again, but with all his memories of the future intact
- (the way he travels back makes no sense whatsoever but it doesn’t really matter)
- harry decides upon 3 goals:
- fuck up as much shit as possible
- make a shitload of money
- save some lives or whatever
- it is
- H I L A R I O U S
- his go-to explanation for how he knows what’s going to happen?
- he has a psychic scar
- (hermione is SO PISSED about this)
- (neville’s like “either he’s psychic, or he’s the greatest conman alive”)
- everyone just sort of assumes harry’s insane and he doesn’t do much to dispute this
- harry also decides to make it his mission in life to LOSE the house cup every year
- “snape is my sole ally”
- he also goes out of his way to befriend neville, ginny, and luna earlier this time, so they’re part of the gang throughout and it’s great
- even draco is a friend!
- (kind of)
- (when harry’s not spreading a rumor that draco’s the lovechild of narcissa and snape, anyway)
- harry’s motivation for everything he does in this story is basically, “oh, this will be hilarious”
- either that or, “it’s probably a tax deductible”
- because the way lockhart is written in this story is also amazing and harry ends up teaming up with him to merchandise The Boy Who Lived so he can have cash to burn
- (so he gets a LOT of shit done via bribes)
- it gets to the point where harry is able to convince everyone that he’s not the heir of slytherin…. because if he was, he’d have found a way to make money off of it
- and everyone’s like “yeah ok that checks out”
- in this timeline, neville’s boggart isn’t snape…. it’s harry as the minister of magic
- harry also decides to make sure cedric lives by quizzing him constantly on what to do if he ends up in a graveyard
- harry: by the way, that reminds me – cedric. graveyard.
- cedric, not even really listening: run like hell.
- the sheer magnitude to which harry does not give a fuck in this timeline is truly awe-inspiring
- he mouths off to everyone, and i mean everyone. lockhart, snape, the dursleys, malfoy, friggin’ voldemort
- everyone is like “what… what the fuck, harry”
- (though by the end of first year it’s more like “… *deep sigh* … fine.
- snape is so angry
- it’s fucking hysterical and just about everyone ends up better off
- here’s the link
- thank me later
Reblogged jackiedaytona
God literally couldn't give me a divorce because I'd be rock hard aaallll the tiiiime
dick. A penis. Not divorce
Reblogged lnane
Reblogged cassidy-peterson
I beg my kidnappers for a phone, swearing not to make any calls or texts, and they stare over my shoulder, holding a gun to my head as I use my newly-freed hand to post, "So do like, dudes just buy ropes and baklavas from the same store or what lmfao like a specialty Crime Store"
One of the kidnappers says "balaclavas" but it's muffled under the fabric. I ask them to repeat and they do, their voice raspy from disuse. "You wrote baklava, that's a pastry." The other kidnapper goes "stfu" and then after a pause goes "Why would you buy from a crime store"
Then they spit roast me
I didn't wanna say this but now that someone's left this kind of comment I have to be honest: Everyone else's tags are funny but this is the only person who understood my vision for this scenario
Reblogged cextra-loz
The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
Reblogged lnane
Source: porterr-robinson
Reblogged silver-hibiscus
Reblogged silver-hibiscus
lost in the moss
Reblogged corvid-carpediem
Concept: a tomb-diving action archeology game where in order to get the true ending you have to solve all of the puzzles and win all of the fights without breaking anything.
Including the crude animated golem that quite definitely belongs in a museum.
Well, obviously you have to disarm the inexplicable rampaging murder-robots without damaging them or allowing them to damage anything in the process - what kind of archeologist would be you be otherwise?
Reblogged megatraven
I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO MAKE A FREAKY FRIDAY THING @mini-minou
Reblogged megnattsworld
please just read the whole thing
imactuallyjustmelinoe
what
Reblogged megnattsworld
Reblogged megnattsworld
strangelyiron-deactivated202012
[tony teaching peter to be assertive after a bad guy took something important]
tony: tell him off peter, assert yourself
peter: that’s mine and you can’t have it!
tony: NOW LET HIM HAVE IT!!
peter: you can have it.
tony: no-