Pillow Fight by Richard Scarry

LOOK BUDDY. I can do a lava moat. I can do a moat composed entirely of boiling acid. With certain provisions for the animal welfare act, I can even do a piranha infested moat! But I cannot. provide. all three services simultaneously in the same godsdamned moat. You call any contractor in this industry they will tell you the same!!!!!!!

What if it was three concentric moats?

oh that, sure, heck we can have that installed by tuesday

I need you all to understand that this is, in fact, exactly what working in construction is like.

Ok but what about, and hear me out, a lava moat infested with demon piranhas that spit acid?

I copy pasted parts of this but I do hand letter everything, because while I'm trying to work easier as I'm chronically ill, I am still chronically stupid

If I had henchmen I would absolutely be commanding them to "seize him!", and when the target failed to respond with "unhand me!" because people don't actually talk that way, in spite of knowing this would be the outcome I would be bitterly disappointed every single time.

"You went through all this trouble to meet behind your boss' back to... what?"

"Listen, he acts like he doesn't mind but we all know he just really wants someone to say it. Please, just once, when he says the thing -"

"This is ridiculous."

"Come on, man."

"... Yeah, alright."

____________________

"Did he really tear up when I said 'Unhand me'?"

"He's been holdin' out hope for a while, man."

Oh, verily, “wretch” is the correct form of address here. Unless the aesthetics disallow it, in which case the classic “villain” will suffice

"Brute", "miscreant", and "scoundrel" are also acceptable.

Eugh! Blegh! Ptooey!

attention this is your captain speaking chag sameach pesach to all celebrating and a reminder do not open the airlock to greet elijah the vulcan rabbinic council ruled that opening the door to the room where the seder is occurring is sufficient elijah can get on a starship just fine himself he just likes to be personally invited in to your seder we dont need another incident like last year thank you

Welcome to Build-a-Frog!

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gUyS please click the link you won’t regret it

Its been so long since Build-a-Frog came across my dash. I needed them today :)

im sobbing omg

Please do build a frog its very nice

i did it i found build a frog

In this scenario it is free but that’s the only difference you’ll still have downtime and recovery etc

COME GET YA’LL JUICE

LMAO I SEE THAT TOOTHPICK nice try you dumbass moth I know you didn’t realize that was edible until your keeper unrolled your tongue and stuck it in there

you know too much

Gollum’s lowkey adoreable tbh i would like to keep him as a pet❤️

fucked up hurt/comfort. the person who stabbed you tends to your wound. the person who killed your loved one helps you grieve.

An angel earned its wings!

A universal mood.

I might turn these into stickers

“Every Bookseller in Town Had Been in Her Library”

Annie are you ok

the editing in this is incredible

I still don’t get tired of this 🤣

(Seamus the Scottish Fold on Instagram)