nomster, the writer

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

@holyknuckled you get it. lterally what are we here on earth for if not to occasionally impose gastropods upon unsuspecting customers. this story is delightful

@holyknuckled like that?

oh? my god???

yeah, Exactly like that

A cyanometer is a device used to measure the intensity of blue in the sky, often used in meteorology and atmospheric studies. It typically consists of a series of blue color patches or a color gradient, allowing the user to compare the sky’s color to these reference colors.

Do you like the wheel of the sky

Well I like that it doesn't take 5 minutes to scroll past.

second night in a row of trading my sleep for v1 fishing drawings

they should invent weekends that are restful

prev tags soooo true

tiger tale toys 🐀🐁

PAPERWORK

Happy….

married rivals 💙🖤

When my students talk over me I do this bit where I quietly tell them I’m really shy and to please let me talk and somehow it works.

Me, literally a performing arts teacher who teaches them how to be confident and loud: guys wait I’m really shy 🥺 guys be niceys to me 🥺 I’m just a little guy 🥺

My students???? Every time????: woah guys shutup she’s literally shy

Why did we ever start yelling at kids when we could just let them be part of a bit, which is a kid’s favorite thing?

How many of these movies have you seen that people said “you haven’t seen [blank] yet??” to me about

i, have seen, 6 movies.

I’ve seen 74 and I cannot emphasize enough you do not need to watch The Searchers. Do not watch the Searchers.

Winter has arrived on Poob.

Start your 7 day free trial of Poob today, and watch smash hit Martin Scorcese's Goncharov.

hey, don't cry. 40,000 in small bills in the bag, alright? quickly

i really want people to stop writing scientists as awkward, stilted conversationalists who don't understand idioms or emotions and start writing them as depressed alcoholics who swear like sailors unless they're in a specifically academic situation

Seriously the number of academics I have seen who look like gum on the bottom of someone's shoe but who can scrape themselves into a vaguely human position if you tell them there's grant money on the line is much higher than you would think