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Vegan Colors

@vegancolors / vegancolors.tumblr.com

Hi, I'm Alyssa, born in France from mixed race parents (black arabian mom& Sicilian dad).
Left all behind to live in Tokyo, Japan in 2010.
Married.
PCOS fighter. Diagnosed infertile. Nevertheless, Mother to our miracle son, Sho, born 20th April '15, conceived without medical assistance. Still a mystery to my doctors. Had a 100% drug free natural labor.
Fluent in English/French/Japanese.
Totally vegan (Food+cosmetics+clothes etc.)
I share my moods now and then , my life as a vegan mom and how I struggle to face everyday as a bipolar+long time depressive. And food sometimes. For only my Food : my Instagram @vegancolors
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vegansmustbestopped
Anonymous asked:

So, please tell me all about the easily accessible vegan food pantries you support. And the vegan homeless shelters. Oh, and those vegan options at the American free school lunch program. I'm really interested. And then tell me about how vegan options are easily accessible in poverty-stricken rural areas. Please tell me how it's easier to come across free fruits and veggies than road kill and an over population of deer in the American Mid-West. And then tell me why you want to hate the poor?

Alright, I hope nobody minds but I’m going to answer this one straight (no jokes, no satire). I’m just not in the mood to come up with an entire comedy routine for this. Partly because I’m tired, and partly because this inane talking point is the one that pisses me off the most, out of all them.

I’ll give you a little introduction about myself. I was born in the Dominican Republic. I spent the first 7 years of my life there and I went back there every summer until I was a teen. If you don’t know, it’s an extremely poor country. Not as poor as Haiti, but pretty far away economically from the United States (which is where I live now), Canada, Western Europe, and chances are from any country from which people will most likely be reading this from.

I did not grow up poor. My parents were middle class (by Dominican standards). My grandparents owned a chicken farm.

I knew plenty of poor people. No matter where you go in the Dominican Republic, they are everywhere. Looking back on my childhood, whenever I went to a friend’s house (it was much more like a shack with a tin roof, than a “house”) and if I so happened to catch them while they were eating, I have absolutely no recollection of ever seeing meat on the table.

You know the kind of foods that I always saw? I saw things like rice, potatoes, corn, yucca (root vegetable like potatoes), beans, lentils, peas, breads, and fruits on the table.

I would never venture to say that they were 100% vegan, because obviously I doubt they were. But I’ll bet every last cent that that I have that at the very least 85% of the food they ate (and everybody in their socioeconomic status) was plant-based. Do you know why? Because it’s the cheapest.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure this out. From an agricultural standpoint, the lower you eat on the food chain, the less time and resources go towards the finished product, then the less the finished product is going to cost. If you are growing crops to feed animals and then feeding animals to people, then that’s a lot more time and resources going towards the finished “product”. If you are growing crops to feed people directly, then that’s obviously less time and resource intensive (which makes it less costly).

As countries get richer, the more animal products they consume. That’s what’s going on in China right now.

You most likely being born and raised in the United States and most likely never step foot out of the country and seen how poor people (you know the people that you are so concerned about) eat in other nations. I can assure you they are not dining on hamburgers, hot dogs, bacon, chicken mcnuggets, etc…..

You also, most likely being born and raised in the United States, think the real free market price cost of a hamburger is 99 cents. It’s not even close. The massive subsidies that the government gets, through my taxes, artificially lowers the price of meat and dairy to a much more manageable cost to the consumer.

Now for a person, such as yourself who absolutely hates elitism like you claim you do, can you tell me anything more disgustingly elitist than somebody else having to pick up the tab for your taste preference? Please enlighten me why I, and others, have to pay for something that I find disgustingly cruel, but because people like yourself, and millions of others don’t want to pay the full price for a steak? I’m dying to know the answer to this.

If the American public had to pay the REAL free market price cost of meat and dairy, your god-damn head would spin. American culture would be completely different than what you see it today. It would be a more economically honest society.

As far as vegan homeless shelters and vegan food pantries, I doubt there are any. But do you honestly think because there aren’t any (which there might be for all I know), that somehow means plant foods are more elitist than animal based foods?????

The reason why they probably don’t exist is because the people who run these operations, while I’m sure being extremely kind-hearted and philanthropic people, they most likely were born and raised in the United States, and have developed the indoctrinated belief that a “meal” is not a “meal” unless there is a piece of animal flesh on the table. Just because they believe that, it sure as hell doesn’t make it so.

The idea of serving solely plant-based foods will inherently be cheaper for the same reasons I’ve gone over. More than likely, the idea is just simply not in their radar, like most people.

To give you an idea of what’s possible. Here is a prison that went vegetarian solely because of it being cheaper. It had nothing to do with ethics, the environment, etc… Pure dollars and cents. Here is a prison in California where half the inmates were served vegan food. That half had remarkably lower incidences of violence and much better fellowship (which goes to show you that there is more to this issue than just dollars and cents).

Do you want to know what people such as yourself who bring up this absurd talking point should be shouting from the rooftops about? You should DEMAND that every last red cent of the government subsidies that are going to the meat and dairy industry go towards plant-based foods that are already cheap.

So, you would take every cent that goes to meat and dairy, and give it people that produce rice, potatoes, beans, lentils, peas, etc…. You know what that will do? It will massively reduce the price of these already insanely cheap foods. So if you were to go to the store and you’d normally see cans of beans being sold at the current price for about 80-90 cents a can, would know only cost 20-30 cents a can. You can do this with cheap fruits as well. Bananas are a very inexpensive fruit, Slash the already cheap price by at least half with the subsidy, then all of a sudden everybody can eat fruit.

This means practically ANYBODY could afford healthy, vitamin and nutrient dense foods (much more so than meat and dairy) no matter where on the economic ladder you are. This means the food pantries and homeless shelters can stock up on MORE food for less money, which means more people get to eat.

Do you know why this will never happen?

1) People are completely ignorant about the government subsidies that go to the meat and dairy industry, and more than likely have no interest in learning about these things, because out of sight, out of mind.

2) (This is the big reason).  I DON’T WANT TO GIVE UP MY SHIT!!!! I DON’T WANT TO HAVE TO PAY $10 FOR A HAMBURGER!!!! WHY IS LIFE IS SO CRUEL!!!!!!! I’M THE VICTIM!!!!

Whenever somebody brings up poverty, when they are asked to “go vegan”. It is the biggest bunch of bullshit I’ve ever heard. Do you know why people say this? Because other people say it. They just simply regurgitate the same things other people say without thinking about what they are saying for more than a half a second before they vomit it out of their mouths.

No thinking about how the agricultural process works, no thinking about the subsidies, no thinking about what the poorest people in the world eat….people just simply talking out of their asses.

It’s just people who are confronted with something that makes them uncomfortable and instead of thinking about why they are getting so defensive about their beliefs, they just flail miserably just hoping to land a punch, so they’ll say anything.

The onslaught of bullshit that comes out of people’s mouths when confronted with this issue is never-ending. You have people who will be using a computer with electricity and internet connection writing about the INUIT TRIBE, as if that has anything to do with them. Just take a look at my blog to see how many people think they’re like lions, or how much people suddenly give a shit about a plant’s life, or any of the mindless things that comes out of people’s mouths when it comes to this issue. You don’t have to take my word for it. Just read it.

How come I never hear this kind of stuff about the poor when you’ve got celebrity chefs who display and present food to the public as a form of entertainment? Here are all these starving people, and we have game shows about food. It’s weird…..I never hear a peep about poor people when this comes up.

How come whenever there is a hot dog eating contest, I never hear about this????? Don’t you think that it’s kind of sadistic to have a contest to see who can be the most wasteful and shove as much shit down their throat as possible when there are people starving? Hmm….crickets…

How come I never hear about anyone commenting on a culture that treats food like nothing more than a test of one’s gluttony or are barbecues a place to pray for those that don’t have any food? It’s been a while since I’ve been to one….Maybe it’s changed since last I’ve gone.

How come I never hear about how wasteful it is to lose countless amounts of food and calories through the crops that are grown only to get a microscopic amount of food and calories back from the animals that society eats for a taste preference all the meanwhile people are starving?

How come I never hear about the poor people in impoverished nations who are starving, meanwhile others in that same nation are growing crops not to feed them, but to feed farm animals that would peacefully not exist in the first place, if it wasn’t for the people’s demand of meat and dairy?

It’s weird….I never hear about these things. But tell somebody to eat solely plants, and then all of a sudden you are hearing about poor people and about people who live in the arctic.

Let’s just for arguments sake say that eating things like beans, lentils, rice, etc,…was more elitist and unaffordable to the poor. I hope I pointed out how much bullshit this is, but let’s just play devil’s advocate here for teensy second.

We live in a world where Anthony Bourdain has over 1.5 million people following him on Twitter. I’m going to take a stab in the dark and say these people don’t eat in soup kitchens. What’s their excuse?

We live in a world where people will spend $30 a pound for fillet mignon. I know this because I actually used to work in a meat department for a supermarket. I did it for four years. I know how much your average person spends on things like meat and dairy, and it’s a HELL of a lot more than what I spend on groceries.

I have to ask……what’s their excuse? Let me guess….they are going to tell me something about poor people existing somewhere in some time in some space in some part of the world.

DEMAND makes the world we live in, not supply. The world’s marketplace is what we demand it to be. No one is asking a person who is eating at a soup kitchen to vote with their dollar, because they don’t have the dollar to vote with. They are living on charity (not that there is anything wrong with that by any means). Instead we are asking for people who can vote with their dollar to change the world.

The more people demand something, the more the paradigm shifts. The more the paradigm shits, the more peaceful of a world we can live in for everybody (just a clue…..the human species is not the only one that exists).

Right now, we have a world that reflects the demand of people to have Burger King, Mcdonalds,Arbys, Hardees, Wendy’s, Popeyes, steakhouses, etc in just about every civilized corner„(the list goes on and on). I know one thing is for certain. This world the people demanded does not exist because starving people demanded it.

And as far as the road-kill being easier to find in the American Mid-west, by all means….have at it. What I wouldn’t give for a meat-eater put his money where his mouth is and act like the carnivore that he claims to be, and eat up a free meal like that. The animal was killed by accident. It wasn’t done on purpose. They are dead anyway. Go ahead and eat them. Just make sure to take a video of you eating the road kill so I can see how many other “genetic” meat-eating humans would be hungry at that site.

And as far as the over-population of deer, did you ever think that maybe humans are overpopulated? Did you ever think that the deer has every right to exist on land that they were previously able to roam freely in but now has become part of the infrastructure of mankind because for some reason they think birth control is the work of the devil, so they keep on popping out kids like a god-damn pez dispenser? 

I don’t think I’ve ever met a single hunter who uses the overpopulation talking point as nothing more than an excuse to get off on killing something. I have yet to see a photo of a hunter with a sad look on their face after they killed an animal because “overpopulation” made them do it, not because they wanted to. Show me a photo of that. I’d love to see it.

At the end of the day, this has nothing to do with poor people, or the inuit tribe, or our ancestors did it, or lions do it, or protein, or any other bullshit that I’ve heard a million times. It’s simply a childishly global epidemic case of I-don’t-want-to-itis.

If anybody ever gets posed this kind of bullshit talking point, feel free to send them to this post or you can send them to my vegan privilege post or the most recent one I did as response to this. You can copy and paste and plagiarize me if you want. I don’t care.

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angryherbivore

God DAMN dude I don’t think that anon will EVER recover from that

I got fucking tears in my eyes from reading that. Best post on tumblr. Thanks man. DAMN.

Fucking incredible.

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fruitasticharlotte

I have so much respect for this person.

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vegan-vulcan

I love vegansmustbestopped’s satirical posts as much as anyone but this is some real shit, I can’t not reblog this. This is honestly one of the best things I ever took the time to read and I’m so glad I did.

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revolucionvegana

Ha, Tumblr! You may take down his blog but you’ll never be able to remove the reblogs.

(Remember you can find him here now).

Over 6000 notes!!!! Wow….what’s going on with this post? I haven’t read It yet, but something tells me the OP is one sharp little coconut.

Ok….what’s going on with this? This has over 14000 notes and I have scanned it backwards and forwards and I have not seen a single naked picture of a celebrity. Are people now reading long blocks of text? Is this a thing now? Did I miss a memo or something?

Been away again!

If I was as truthful with this blog as I am with my marriage, you guys would have post everyday but I am kind of neglecting it like I do with friends I can't keep. I'm the kind of friend who never texts if not texted first.. Yup, I'm sorry :/ So yeah, many things happened again. Sho is going once or twice a week to a kindergarten for 3hours a day. I did this to help him socialize because he has no friends and he silently run away when a kid approaches him. And that sounds a lot like me and I don't want him to end up as socially disabled as I am. Also, I got surgery last week because, remember that sinusitis I had in February that left half my face paralyzed and I ended up in ER with the Hughes fever ever and the strongest medicine cocktail through my veins? Well we discovered I had a cyst the size of a red bean between my upper jaw and my sinus. So I had to get it surgically removed. I spent 2 days at the hospital and I legitimately thought it would be vacation for me. Like, the first whole night sleeping without hubby and baby since 2 years? In a calm place? With no chores and stuff? Hell it was the worst things ever. The anesthesia didn't work, I felt everything and screamed my heart out during the whole thing. They were nice to remove the cyst from inside my mouth so I won't have any scar on my face but they had to take away one of my teeth to access to the inside of my upper jaw. A tooth or a lifelong scar on my face, the choice was easy. But like, I felt EVERYTHING. I can still feel the needle going through my flesh and the surgeon sewing my jaw. They didn't stop no matter how hard I screamed. Then, in my room, the lady on my right was an old Chinese woman who, LITERALLY spent the day farting and burping out loud, I almost threw up in disgust after few hours. The lady on my left, was a very old and dying woman. The nurses came 3 times in one night running to stimulate her as she stopped breathing and just let herself slowing going in the other world. I heard her dying each time. Her last breath and stuff. So I spent most of my night walking around the corridors, chatting with the nurses and stuff. Oh and I managed to get vegan meals again :D the hospital meals when my son was born were amaaaazingg and in this hospital it was so bad, oh so bad.. I'm still in pain from the surgery and I'll get my stitches off on Thursday. By that terrible surgeon, and boy, I'm going to tell him everything I have in my heart. He talked about replacing that tooth before the surgery, to make a nice bridge when it will be nicely healed. Heeeell no this man is not touching me ever again. So, yeah that's what's new.

Anonymous asked:

Previous anon. :) thanks for the answer. Yeah, I'm only planning on living there for about a year. I'm a traveler, so i want to see as much as possible, in year-long trips! So i think the time frame would be good. Thanks for your advice <3 so much

You are very welcome <3

Anonymous asked:

Was it really difficult to learn Japanese? To move there? I'm from USA wanting to move there but i don't know how much they like Americans even though i hate us 😂 in afraid they still might not be nice.

Well, I think learning a language is different for everyone, I'm a word lover, and I speak 4 languages so... Japanese was pretty easy to me but the writing is still a bit challenging. I can read though, but my writing sucks. Now, there are tons of American citizen here and Japanese aren't known for bashing races openly. Some hates foreigners, but it's like, no matter where you're from, just because you are not Japanese, so you could be Irish or Mexican or Peruvian that it would be the same for them. If you are well mannered, do not stand out from everyone and respect Japanese culture, you will not have any major trouble. I face racism pretty much every week and I've been here 6 years, pay my taxes, speak Japanese fluently, and am well mannered. But I've faced racism pretty much every where I've been even in my own country. The only advice I would give is that before coming here to live definitely, do a working holiday visa or stay like 3months first. I've been here 6 years, and during all this time, I've seen dozens of foreigner that were dreaming about living in Japan and left after a year. Life is hard here. Work is tough, people are sometimes really rude without even realizing it, and Japan is no paradise. If it wasn't for my son and my husband, I would be tempted to go back to France, because some parts of the system here is pretty messed up. See first if this country fits for you :)

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vegans that live in japan hmu. im trying to figure out costs of living there in comparison to where i live now(portland, oregon).

Definetely more expensive with less choice :'( I've been vegan for 4-5years in Japan and if you need help or have question, don't hesitate to reach me :)

Guys, just letting you know I made a new Instagram account, because the last one was focused on food and anyway I stopped using it while this one is more intimate, everyday pictures, lots of Sho, and some food as well. I’d be so happy if you’d come and say hello, and I’d follow you back as well!

@veganmamajp

Sorry for being so absent but I’m quite busy and my head isn’t into writing things here :/

Soooo, I made my first ever character bento yesterday, because of a stupid challenge from my husband. We saw a picture of a bento with ワンワンandウータン, my son's favorite characters and I was like "oh gosh I need to be ready for school bentos! He would definitely like this!" And the hubby was like "hahaha that's pretty difficult though.. You should start training now!" And I was like "are you saying I'm not able to do it?" Long story short he came home that night with this on the table hahaha! However, I'm not satisfied at all but let's say for a first time that's not THAT chaotic. So, yep, I'm starting to practice vegan character bento for the little prince!

Tomorrow, Sho and I will be spending the day at Tokyo Disneyland!! I already prepared his bento, and I'm still hesitating between preparing one for me or eating in the park at the East Side Cafe, the only place in the whole park with ONE vegan option (besides French fries all around the park) but I guess I'm lazy and it's already 11pm so I won't be into making food now, and end up with their delicious vegetarian course (salad+pasta) While they do have some vegan friendly baby food (like mashed veggies in a jar for babies) Sho is a picky eater and is crazy about rice (his Japanese side is strong in that case lol) so I made him vegan cheese,spinach and komatsuna greens onigiri :D Vegan mom much? Aaaall the way!

Just forgot a very important thing!

Sho is walking! I totally forgot to tell, but yeah he started at 12months and few weeks and now, he is walking like a pro! When I see him running around, I just have a huge nostalg of when he was so tiny and stuff. They grow SO fast. Cherish every moment!

Life's taking a weird but funny turn

Guess what? I went for the result of a blood check I did after I got severely sick in February (and ended up healed totally only in April) so everything was great (yeah my *insert sarcasm here* poor vegan diet ended up perfect in b12, iron, and all vitamins) But my doc wasn't happy because it seems , from what I could understand from the quite difficult Japanese terms he used, that my arteries are not fat enough. At first, I smiled and thought it was a good thing, but apparently it's not. I didn't even know it could be a thing. (By the way if anybody knows about that, you're welcome to help!) He asked me very seriously "okay, I know you've been pretty busy with your kid, and moving and stuff, so you might have been not eating well, but please tell me if you are relapsing into eating disorder, I'd do nothing but help you." And I was pretty shocked. Like, no, I'm not relapsing at all, not that I'm aware of, and I didn't lose any drastic weight. I'm losing, I'm losing since I gave birth, but slowly, and without even trying. My body is just naturally going back to my pre-pregnancy weight (thing that I achieved 6months post partum though, but I keep losing grams here and there.) BUT I am not underweight at all, if anything, I'm at a healthy normal weight for my body. So, we talked and tried to understand where it was coming from. And I told him that since we moved, I couldn't access to organic shops like before so I can't eat as varied as before and all the substitute and stuff. (Then he got interested in fake meat and stuff and even asked me addresses haha I love him so much!) We only have a really old supermarket with few products, no variety so basically I've been eating carbs and veggies every day, and even though I don't restrict or anything I just don't really add oil or not much, and I was used to get my fat from substitute, beans, and nuts, which are difficult to have here now. So, he asked me to try to balance my meal, add some more sweet and fat here and there (with caution to not end up in the other end of the problem, too much fat in my arteries) Going home I talked with my husband and he told me "well, you are not snacking anymore, barely finish your meals, I know it's because of you being busy and tired, but we'll work on it." So yeah, I just didnt realized it at all. Anyway I have until July to try to balance that out and we well check again but the doc said it could also be a thyroid problem. So we'll know more in July :) The funny part is I don't even know what's all bad about the lack of fat there. And so I'm trying my best but I don't get why. Also, I need to by a balance, because I threw mine when I started recovery years ago. I was weighed during pregnancy at the hospital and at post partum check ups but that's all. Now I should probably check my weigh to see if I'm losing without noticing it, since I don't get it just by looking in a mirror.

I hate being a “I can’t keep my mouth shut” kind of vegan (and because it is a fundamental right to keep it open as much as I want) but like, al this fuss the tumblr “ex-vegan” is talking about is pretty much non-sense to me.

I know vegans that have been thriving on a vegan diets for 10+ years, and even a better example, a 14 years old BORN vegan.

This ex-tumblr said “if you’ve not been vegan for more than 4years than don’t talk”. Well I have been vegan for more than 4 years and even though I am a often sick person (since birth, I have different chronic diseases and body related other illnesses, not to mention mental issues as well.) and I’ve never been better, body wise, than since veganism kicked in. (Not suddenly after few months but like after 2 years of a fully vegan lifestyle) My blood tests are amazing and one of my chronic disease didn’t show up since 3 years, although it was like every 5 months before veganism.

My son is healthy as can be, never sick, growing up great and a very clever little boy.

I live in a country where it is quite difficult to be vegan easily (and don’t get me wrong, I’m pretty positive anyone can go vegan anywhere besides really old tribes, North Pole and stuff. But Europe, North&South America, North Africa, South Africa, Russia, Asia, Australia, New Zealand, etc. I’m just saying some place are harder than others) and still, I managed with time, study, and few mistake how to enjoy and live an easy vegan lifestyle here. I think that the fact ex-vegan got a bad body condition after years of a vegan diet might have nothing to do with their diet, or if so, they did something wrong with it.

My husband and I are struggling with money, because our fucked up government doesn’t help us although my husband is disabled (his disability is recognized by this very same government though, but all we get are discount in public transports and pay half at the movies, GREAT.) and so he can’t find a proper job that match his disability so he works how he can, anyway this long thing to say, I am not the “my baby drink the best organic soy milk!” Type of mom. My baby drinks any plant based milk and any plant based food I can afford. I keep myself from buying new clothes for me, or super nice vegan cheese ($15 one box in Japan..) or going to the hair salon or any superficial yet nice things so that my family can have food every day, that my son is properly dressed, and all this doing the less cruelty I can.

So yeah, if I had to eat organic and some fake meat/cheese, I would definitely end up in the street, therefore, end veganism.

But, I manage my veganism. I manage my body a great way. And last but not least, I can’t even begin to understand HOW as an ex-vegan you can still enjoy a piece of meat, without wanting to vomit. I mean, eggs, milk, yeah I grew up in a countryside, and even my grandparents had hens and yeah, I have seen that they were greatly treated, as pets, and loved until their last day, so I get that you could find some ways to feel fine about the eggs and dairy you are consuming but as a vegan now, I know it’s like 0.something% of the whole planet. But meat, MEAT? It’s not even a question of “is it good for the earth” or what. It’s a matter of REASON. How can you not feel bad about eating the body of an animal? You do know that no living being enjoyed being slaughtered, right? You DO know it, as an ex-vegan. You know, you’ve seen the horror, you once found it unbearable, don’t you? How can you enjoy a piece of dead body part?

It is just really creepy for me.

子供の日!☆ So today is Kodomo no Hi (Kid's Day) in Japan, a holiday celebrating children! It was very hot and sunny outside so we went to the park, had a lot of fun and ended with a nice coffee time. Sho enjoyed so much he fell asleep on the way home. Also, daddy pictures! I don't post him often so here he is! Sho's growing up so much! Last year's Kodomo no hi, he was not even a month old so we didn't do anything. To end the day, he had a nice plate of rice, green beans and cheese-in-hamburger (vegan of course) that I made especially for him. Totally forgot to take picture of his plate though :( The Tokyo sky tree is so beautiful and we can see it pretty much everywhere where we live now, even from our beeroom's window! I love this monument the most because it has a special story to me. We used to live behind it and saw it being build from A to Z! I can still remember when there was nothing at all at this place, and now, bam, a almost 700meters tall tower.

We FINALLY after 2years moved from our "battery cage" styled apartment (like, we couldn't walk two steps without touching a wall/a door/someone, we had no soace to put anything like a bed or stuff so we basically had a mattress just laid down on the floor, some pillows to sit on in front of the tv and the kitchen so small I couldn't stand to do the dishes for more than 5min without having serious pain so, I have to admit I ate most of the time on paper plates. So, we pretty much spent 2 years on the floor. And I've been asked why I can't stand people coming in.. Well first I have freaking anxiety issues, and 2nd, would any sane person would be happy and proud to invite someone in that hell? Anywaaay, now the place is much bigger! Not as big as what big means in the US or EU but for the middle of Tokyo, I'm pretty satisfied. Sho can finally move as much as he wants at home without me having to take him out every single day rain or shine. (Still taking him out a lot though lol) Only minus is it's in the middle of nowhere, still Tokyo but like there's no train, one bus every hour, one old and pretty empty supermarket and that's it. Soooo yeah, beside this we have a real family home! We finished moving in one day with the help of my in laws, and two friends, and my mother in law prepared this huge tray of onigiri for us to eat at lunch time. She's the sweetest and had some non vegan food in different containers for them. She always try her best to make me food. The onigiri were salted ones and azuki and brown rice. She also brought some veggies from the organic farm she lives in (yes she does live in a farm but it's a long story) some mustard spinach and tomatoes and the tomatoes were the tastiest ever. A new life starts for us and I feel so excited about it!

Just saying

This week end (29th&30th) the Green Food Festival will take place in Ueno Park, with aaaall the vegan food stands and community and stuff and I'm going there with my son :D Gotta buy loooots of food since we just moved to another place and my fridge is so empty and lonely with some tofu&natto packs and some veggies hanging here and there. CANT WAIT!

You know what happened the 20th of April? Sho turned ONE! Oh my, already one year old. He is such an adorable toddler. He loves Japanese white rice. Like, a lot. No matter what he already ate, if there's rice somewhere (well mostly in our dinner, not somewhere random in the house lol) he asks for it or just go and pick some. He ends up with grains of rice all over him, stuck on his clothes, hair, face etc. then he tries to take and eat each grain one by one and it's hilarious. He hates carrots. He has now a seriously strong bond with his daddy, it is the cutest thing ever. I watch them play and laugh their heart out from afar and my eyes fill with tears of happiness. He is such a beautiful little guy, but I'm blinded by the fact he's my son lol but seriously, his smile can heal any of my pain, I'm so in love <3

Long time no see! I've been neglecting tumblr because I really just didn't see any point writing here (or pretty much anywhere, may it be Facebook, Instagram or any social media.) for months because I felt it was kinda useless. However, tonight when going on tumblr after all this time, I read messages I got and I felt so good. You guys are amazing, and made me feel appreciated and valuable. So, I guess it's time to write about everything that happened these past two months, and health wise, it was a real roller coaster. The polyp they found was removable, and so that is what was done. No cancer for now but I'm under surveillance. All the doctors were talking about how young and healthy I was and that it was pretty sad, but it happens. I had another check for cancer/polyp/whatever in my colon, and despite everyone's thoughts, it was totally healthy. (I have been having issues down there for years and colon cancer runs in my family.) Now, the picture I posted is not from this cancer related stuff. Something happened to me I didn't even know could happen lol. So, long story short, I had a cold around beginning of March. Just a simple cold. Coughing, runny nose, That's it. Went to the doc, got cold medicines, got better in 3days. 2 days later, in the middle of the night, I wake up with a horrendous pain in my left side of the face. Like, my whole left side was so painful I couldn't even move without crying, and you know how many muscles we have in the face? Yeah a lot, so try keeping a resting face while having the sensation you just got hit by a truck. But like, no other symptom. I thought I had a teeth infection, since my teeth were pretty painful as well. The pain sensation in my left side was so unreal I ran in front of a mirror because I thought it had triple in size. Nothing, not a millimeter had changed. Took like 3 painkillers to keep me sane. Went to my usual doctor first thing in the morning. He checks me, he is touching my face asking if it was painful, and as he starts asking me to follow his finger with my eyes, scrub his fingers next to my ears to check my hearing, I see his face slowly decomposing. He is speechless for a minute, and tells me "Alyssa, I need you to go directly from here, to the general hospital in Shimbashi, and to see the ENT head doctor, I can't do anything for you here." When he said "directly" he meant no coming home to prepare, change clothes, take anything but just go. I had to explain to the hubby by phone that he would have to take a day off and watch our son. The doc begged me to take a taxi to go as fast as possible. I did. Beside the insane pain in my face, I didn't feel anything else, and wasn't really in a "I'm gonna faint" state. Arriving and the Shinbashi hospital, they took my temperature, I was 40°.2C (104.36°F) and everyone freaked out. I was so in pain from my face I didn't even notice I had this high fever, so you can estimate the pain level. I met the doctor I was recommended to see, he checked me quickly, and then I had a blood test and a head scan. Wrong thing to do : show me the scan before telling me what's wrong. I saw this picture of the inside of my face, and my left side was black between the bones and stuff and the left side was all white. The whole left side was white, like filled with something. I thought "ok, I'm dying, I'm having a blood explosion from my brain." Well no, but I actually had a life threatening infection. In fact, the thing I thought was a cold, was in fact a sinusitis, and well, I never had one before but I thought it was like a flu or something not really dangerous. Well I was wrong. My sinusitis, wrongly treated, turned into an infection, and that infection was reaching slowly to my brain. The blood test showed a level of infection high like hell. All I kept saying was "it's really a sinusitis? Seriously? It does that?" Then the doc told me what I absolutely didn't want to hear : "you need a hospitalization. We can't let you go like this. You need to stay at least 10days." And even though a part of me was like "10 days with no chores, days full of rest, alone.. I really want that." The biggest part of me was thinking about leaving Sho and the hubby. I've never even spent a day without Sho. And hubby must work, and we have no relatives or nanny. So, after a long discussion with the hospital team, after being told that not keeping me would make them responsible of neglect of a endangered person, and after my best to politely decline, we decided on a daily hospitalization where I'd go there in the morning and be able to leave in the afternoon. So hubby managed his shifts, and I spent my days going back and forth, being filled with strong antibiotics, steroids, and other stuff directly by IV. I recovered a painless face after a week, and that was the best sensation in a while. I stopped the intravenous medicines after the said 10days. But you know what, we are a month and half after it started, and I'm still taking antibiotics and steroids every day. Next appointment is the 12th of May, and we'll take another scan to see if the infection disappeared or not. I've never felt so stressed about my health than since my son was born. Like, I was the kind of person who would play with death, who didn't care at all about her own life, and who during long years didn't know wether to wake up and live or just end things for good. Now, I can't even enjoy a bus ride without panicking and over thinking about "what if.. Collision/explosion/compulsive killer/etc." because my life is the most precious thing to me now. I need it to be here for my son. Now I'm feeling pretty great though, almost healed! Tl;dr : never, ever get a sinusitis, and if you do so, get it healed ASAP. I am a very strong person when it comes to pain. I've been cut open many times, had almost 2meters long blood drains taken off from my chest without any anesthesia, I have a painful chronic disease, i felt down stairs and broke my back, couldn't walk for 2 months, I pushed a human being out of my body naturally without any help and got the nurses angry because I was running around the same day while my internal organs were still not back to normal and all this was pretty fun compared to what I endured with the sinusitis.

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