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quod enim genus figurae est ego non quod obierim

@villaviridarium / villaviridarium.tumblr.com

zephyr | 24 | they/he/she/any/get silly with it classical archaeologist | greatest wizard of this age | writer...? πŸ’ wuvvy pfp by the phenomenal @heyitsphoenixx πŸ’—

fantasizing every day about quitting my job and doing absolutely nothing

this is reductive what i actually fantasize about doing is making art. but just not doing it for money. that is not "nothing". the capitalism got in my brain

do not get it twisted, reblogs. i also want to do nothing for like a month

to succeed in adult friendship you must remember the key tenets of child friendship:

  • Play Toys
  • Play Pretend
  • Snack Time

successful examples from my travels:

  • my SO and i have a projector. our cool neighbors have a vast dvd collection. fundamentally these are toys. we have those neighbors over for movie nights. Play Toys. more broadly shared hobbies fall into this category but it's extra fun if there's Equipment to admire and share.
  • ttrpgs are obvious but invaluable examples of Play Pretend. HOWEVER your options are not limited to this. i started a local writing group and this is also Play Pretend bc we all talk about our stories together. there are many such creative endeavors in this world.
  • having someone over for a meal is Snack Time. if you make a lil thing of it and eat at the table and make it nice with dessert and a fancy beverage to share it feels very grown up. and you will feel impressed with yourself for it. but it scratches the same itch as trading fruit snacks and suchlike.

of course these can be mixed and matched. most activities are enhanced by Snack Time if your friend targets enjoy breaking bread together.

and one begets the other. if you Play Pretend with someone for long enough they may eventually tell you about Toys they have and if you want to play too they'll probably let you. if they're nice.

life can be lonely when we live in separate boxes and worry about money all the time. this is what makes friendships hard, not growing older. but the antidote to isolation is connection, and the oldest wisdom we ever learn: share your toys. share your games. share your snacks.

Just in case

I’m actually going to reblog a thing just because this is really important.

As someone who has epilepsy and used to have several grand mal seizures a day, I’d also like to add that β€œoffer help” can range anywhere from keeping the person calm to explaining to them where they are and what they were doing to even just telling them they should sit and rest for a while longer (lack or coordination is common, and it can be hard to walk straight or see clearly).

It’s okay for them to take up to a half hour to fully regain their bearings and sort out what they were doing prior to the seizure. Just answer any questions calmly and be there for support.

If they come around and you start to panic or shake them or ask them what the heck is wrong with them they are going to freak out and panic too.

I cannot stress it enough that this is bad.

If someone has a seizure and they come out of it, please. please stay calm. They are likely disoriented and confused, even if it’s only for a minute or two, and you don’t want them panicking on top of that because they can have another seizure as a result.

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felicityredbarrow

IMPORTANT

IMPORTANT because last year a kid in my class had a seizure, none of us even knew he was at risk for them either so just cause you don’t think you know anyone doesn’t mean you don’tΒ 

stay safe

I have to stress how important it is to time a seizure. If it lasts more than a few minutes, call an ambulance.

DO NOT CALL THE POLICE. I’m dead fucking serious. I had a grand mal in public once and the POLICE were called and imagine coming out of the seizure, feeling like you got smacked in the head with a sack full of bricks, confused, dazed, in desperate need of some sugar to boost low blood pressure and some DIPSHIT has called the police and I was being threatened with being β€˜drunk and disorderly’. It took a phone call to my doctors office to get them to back off. The police cannot properly deal with sick people.Β 

Offer help can be:

  • assuring person where they are/what time it is
  • getting them something to drink if they can; seizure burns so much energy and does cause a blood pressure drop
  • getting them safely to transport or a carer
  • getting them some dignity like a blanket/towel [loosing control ofΒ yourΒ bladder and bowelsΒ is fucking horrifying]
  • ensuring they have a way to get home. Someone who has just had a seizure should NEVER DRIVE straight after
  • calling emergency services if you notice any of these symptomsΒ because they may have stroked out.

Why you shouldn’t put anything in someone’s mouth: they will choke. Yes, they may bite their tongue but I can assure you it’s lessΒ traumaticΒ thanΒ cracking your jaw on someone’s greasy wallet or choking on a spoon.

DO NOT HOLD ANYONE DOWN. Example: someone pinned my right shoulder mid-seizure a few years back and how I have aΒ permanentlyΒ displaced andΒ clicking shoulder. Let the person flail around, those muscles are out of control and restraining them does cause more damage to the patient and you.

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