madness

ult dirk but he's not entirely aware of the narrative but he just uses the script he writes out as like a way of taking notes on mundane things and he doesnt know that his like. shopping list is being beamed out past the fourth wall

taking the porn off tumblr just made us all hornier. it used to be that we’d only sexualize basic things, like human bodies. but now?? you wouldn’t believe the things my mutuals are getting off to

2016 tumblr porn: straight up just a gif of penis in vagina

2025 tumblr porn: video of someone slowly bringing a magnet to a CRT tv screen while static is playing

the hit tv show “who wants to be a williamaire”

i was told i should post these, so here are some pokemon team specialties that arent based on type

1. pokemon that start out only knowing one attacking move max but grow up to be worthwhile 2. pokemon that are actually two or more individuals working together as one 3. pokemon that are [at least rumored to be] from space 4. pokemon that were created [deliberately] by humans 5. pokemon that were created [accidentally] by humans 6. pokemon that used to be humans 7. pokemon that hunt humans for sport

by request of no one, have a few more:

8. pokemon that hate your guts. its nothing personal, they just hate all of humanity 

9. pokemon that people canonically eat. producers of berries and milk dont count; people actually consume at least some part of these pokemons flesh

10. aka Team “WHO’S A GOOD BOY???”

CTRL 🧡

posting this for no particular reason

behold…. a Bastard

How could U fail to mention that this fool marks territory by howling? Yunno. Like a wolf

Oh. Oh I am in love with this bastard wolf mouse.

that little guy is locked in an evolutionary arms race (my favourite thing) with bark scorpions (he loves to eat those guys) - he’s not only immune to their venom, but he’s evolved such that that venom acts as an analgesic; he barely even feels the sting because the scorpion’s own venom blocks the pain of it. this effect is strong enough that they don’t really notice even when the scorpion is stinging them repeatedly in the face.

JADE before she got that dog in her :-)))

what if people over a certain height had a special currency called tall coins that short people didn’t know about. And one day you’re walking with your friend (huge) and she drops something and you pick it up and say what is this and she says oh that’s my tall coin don’t worry about it. But you did worry

love when u get an audio message n ur reading the transcript n like halfway thru there is just a bunch of road rage expletives before they get back to the point :3

literally my favorite thing

I think about this everytime someone comes into my lane

I do think it’s ultimately the potion seller’s right to not sell the knight potions that would explode the knight and that it’s out of hubris that the knight keeps insisting on only the strongest potions but I also think it’s a situation born on clashing egos because the potion seller is clearly proud of how strong he can make his potions and here comes a common bloke insinuating that he can handle the best of what the potion seller is capable of offering, and instead of offering more suitable alternatives from his own stock the potion seller completely shutters down on this initial gaffe out of pride - note how he says “you’d better go to a seller that sells weaker potions” instead of recommending his own weaker potions, suggesting that he is still stuck on the knight’s request as an insult to his abilities as a seller above anything else, and reasserting himself as a high quality seller relative to other sellers. ultimately this unfortunate interaction happens because neither party is willing to cede an inch out of the initial affront to their self image

Given that Trump imposed tariffs on several uninhabited islands and oceanic territories, I think they had an intern look up the Wikipedia list of countries and make a spreadsheet.

It’s even funnier than that

godtier tweet

Knight and Cloak of Night