smells of copper

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

@holyknuckled you get it. lterally what are we here on earth for if not to occasionally impose gastropods upon unsuspecting customers. this story is delightful

@holyknuckled like that?

oh? my god???

yeah, Exactly like that

Scientists shouldn't have to pretend they're bringing back the dire wolf. Geneticists should be able to say "I want to make wolves larger for no reason", and we should have the resources to say "that sounds cool as hell. Here's a billion dollars"

you can’t jokingly post about kinky shit on tumblr because you say smth like “haha wouldn’t it be hot if you…tried to launch internet explorer…but it wouldn’t load :D”

and then you’ll get one thousand robot girls in the notes going “mmngngnnghhhngn”

YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME. NO NO THIS IS TOO FUNNY,

You shouldn’t date or become serious friends/partners with someone if you can’t stomach the thought of being stuck in a car or train with them for 16 hours.

Here’s my logic:

These tags are hilarious even though I don’t think you intended them to be.

*pulls European closer* The most populous countries in the world are China, India, the United States, Indonesia, Pakistan, Nigeria, and Brazil in that order, with these seven nations alone making up 48.16% of the world population. You may note with the aid of a map that many of these nations are quite large, and would take several days of travel to go across either in cars or on boats. Almost half of the world's population lives in places where you can travel in a cramped vehicle for days and still be within the country. Your worldview is limited and Europe is a tiny outlier in travel time and standards for international relations.

what if it GETS her though 😥

Never let some invisibly wrinkled centuries old bloodsucker give you shit for being new bitch on the block. They think they’re sooo mighty and powerful bc they’ve survived for sooo long when like 90% of that timeframe there weren’t any guns or cameras or borders so they could kill some random defenseless lady, fuck off 1 village east, and nobody would blink an eye. Now you pop around the block for a lazy bite to eat and 8 electric eyeballs bear witness to your target pulling iron and filling your gut with 9mm rounds before activating an international manhunt on your ass. Camarilla execs haven’t ever dealt with this shit personally. Some of these dusty motherfuckers predate widespread literacy and have never budged from their Embrace city and it damn well shows. I’d like to see one of London’s mutant ass 5th gen’s go without a kine proxy for a week in the modern day. They’ll guaranteed fumble the hunt after centuries of Doordashing their drinks and get inquisitors with phosphor rounds driving them out of their safe space. Can’t drive, no ID, no credit card, no records, not a fucking drop of patience for interacting with mortals, good fucking luck starting up in a new city much less getting to it. Call me an insolent whelp again bitch i’ll run you over with my car and selfie your broke and steamrolled ass to the groupchat #GoGrampa

trains are extremely sexual actually, have you seen couplers????

thats nothing, check out this scharfenberg coupler

First they fuck, then they kiss

i love it… white boxers, a cat… everything

I'm sorry I'm going fucking insane over trans people in sports issues the anti trans crowd has lost the fucking plot and then has the audacity to act like its the trannies who are ridiculous

I used to be of the "well the sports issue isn't really important to me its w/e I just don't want it to be a gateway into other transphobia" but oh my fucking god we are so far gone. The fencing shit is sending me over the edge. What the fuck.

I can't even articulate my words so I'm just going to tell a story in screenshots

I am so fucking tired of being gaslit about this

I'm also still so fucking pissed that we have to include "ooo the trans fencer only finished in X place" because its a reminder that trans women will never be allowed to excel at anything in the public eye without being cut down. Fuck OFF