Guess who got an A+ in vet today.

#guess who is sulking in a corner of her cardboard castle

UNBELIEVABLE. I just walked by this man who resides rent free in the middle of my living room, and he managed to grab one of my earrings between his radius and ulna and yank me backwards by the head when I tried to get past.

#an accident no human being has ever managed to have before #jay w. pajamas continues to pioneer and innovate

whitepajamas

Let the record show that, because I understand the unspoken social cues of neither neurotypical nor heterosexual people, today is the day that I completely missed the fact that a colleague was trying to initiate an affair with me.

#guess which moron responded with a cheerful “maybe!” to what i now recognise was a not-at-all veiled request for a sexual encounter.#this also explains why he asked me to keep the conversation secret at least twice and also included a shirtless selfie.

whitepajamas

Oh also I'm sure at some point I'll explain where I've been all this time and why I'm back all of a sudden, but that might take years and years for my brain to be able to do, and thinking about it was like a huge concrete wall in the middle of my head. However, in the interim I suddenly realised the other day that if my problem is that I miss my community and want to reconnect with them, then I can just... do that.

So I am.

#feel like a baby deer learning to walk though #except a baby deer who used to know how to walk and now is like fuck shit fuck wait you're telling me i used to just talk to people #whenever i wanted to?#wild if true

whitepajamas

Every day spent puppeteering the meat robot I live in is another adventure.

#“GOOD NEWS” he says

whitepajamas

Reblogged

whitepajamas

GOOD NEWS, I have made a truly WRETCHED LOOKING food and I am so proud of it that I am showing every person I have ever met.

whitepajamas

BELOVED, IT'S SO GOOD. It's mochi dough that someone (Jay) dyed pink and then accidentally burnt it at the edges (also Jay), topped with monstera fruit. But it looks nothing more than like a slab of raw flesh topped with mushroom bits and I couldn't be happier. My girlfriend was also displeased with the description "it feels like warm elderly human skin", so all around A WINNER.

#drop by the house of horrors for other culinary delights

whitepajamas

GOOD NEWS, I have made a truly WRETCHED LOOKING food and I am so proud of it that I am showing every person I have ever met.

#I PROMISE YOU YOU HAVE NO HOPE IN HELL OF GUESSING WHAT THIS ITEM IS AND ALSO IT IS DELICIOUS #LOOK AT MY SON.

whitepajamas

I just made a noise of profound disgust, but the thing I was expressing disgust at was having to slightly raise my head to put an even fluffier pillow under it.

#sure #this might as well be my first new post in over a year #why not

whitepajamas

Sweethearts, it's important that you know that I miss you all. I think about you constantly, all of the time. Yes, you as well. For years.

#basically: i love you.

whitepajamas

ONCE AGAIN I RISE FROM THE ASHES TO REMIND YOU THAT I LOVE YOU ALL

#END OF MESSAGE #I check in once or twice a year to make sure y'all motherfuckers are still alive and I expect you to make sure that you are

whitepajamas

Hey guys, I hope you are safe.

Please check in if you are. I mean it.

#i know i dropped a post on you a lil while ago and then privated it but that's because i'm still a crazy person.#a crazy person who CARES ABOUT YOU #I don't care if we've never talked before tell me you're okay