So hail Satan and have a lovely afternoon, madam

Wow, roughly a year after embracing AI, NaNoWriMo is shutting down.

Who could have foreseen that?

Louis forcing himself to eat human food once a week even though it tastes like shit to him just to try and stay in touch with his humanity after a meal of donated blood from a hospital, some rare animal, and some guy who you KNOW is in a tight spot so he sells his blood for money? It's all just PEAK Louis, the front and hypocrisy if it all while he is 100% serious and you still feel bad for his suffering. And he picked his human meal from Daniel's memoir, he's cold and divorced from humanity and then startlingly human and kind

v good points altho i suspect that guy is selling his blood for other reasons lol

I am dying. Send help.

no one's doing somnophillia anymore

because of woke

Every episode of Supernatural they ask, "How will we defeat this new and unique monster?" and the answer is "shoot them with guns," mostly.

Every episode they go, "look at this new and unique corner of America!" and if you ask "what does it look like?" the answer is Vancouver, mostly.

my phone isn’t charging even though i plugged her innnnn dramatic ass bitch. YOUR PUSSY IS FILLED! WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT

Can you stop bouncing and moaning on it 😐 please for the love of god

i see now that i shouldn’t have made this post on tumblr. specifically.

Finally, I can stop thinking about Sherlock when I plug in my phone charger.

People who try to copy historical writing styles don't say enough weird stuff in them. I'm listening to a 1909 story about a ghost car right now, and the narrator just said he honked the car horn a bunch of times, but the way he phrased it was "I wrought a wild concerto on the hooter".

Reblog to wreak a wild concerto on a hooter

When I was a kid I kept failing classes because I'd lose my homework. I'd finish it, but between the dining room table and the classroom it would just walk away. Sometimes it ended up in my backpack, sometimes it didn't; sometimes I finished the homework at school and it got home in my backpack but wasn't there the next day.

To attempt to address this, my parents got me a neon orange folder to put in my backpack; it was my homework folder, all homework was to go into that folder and that folder only, and it was to only come out of that folder when it was being worked on. I was to put homework in the homework folder as soon as it was assigned and if I'd worked on it, put it back in the folder as soon as it was finished. The logic here was that using the folder was supposed to be automatic, and you wanted a bright color so it wouldn't get lost in the depths of a backpack.

I think I lost about eight of those before my parents stopped buying orange folders.

So it was very frustrating to search "how to be organized at work as an adult with ADHD" only to get a list that said "set alarms and write things down and try to make friends with a more organized person" which was immediately followed by tips to help your ADHD child stay organized and the one right at the top was to put their homework in a bright folder so they couldn't lose it.

If you have been harmed by the ADHD Tips Industrial Complex you may be entitled to a packet of fun-dip and a cactus cooler as consolation for losing your homework folder again.

"You'd remember it if you thought it was important, you're just demonstrating that you don't care"

*EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER*

the thing we all need to remember about book!DM is that in that wretchedly romantic scene in Pompeii where they kiss for the first time and Daniel thinks about how Armand looks like a giant bug and he's in love........... the thing to remember...... is that the whole time, while Daniel is having all of these sweeping romantic thoughts and getting kissed and bitten, Armand is rocking double denim

AND!!!! Those were clothes he stole from someone he killed, so I guarantee you that person was bigger than him, which means the denim jacket's sleeves are gonna be too long for his little arms, so he is ALSO rocking sweater paws in this moment.

My man woke up like, "Tonight i will seduce Daniel and make him mine, so I must look the cutest I have ever looked. Sky blue and sweater paws." And Daniel FULLY did not even register that a spooky attempt at alluring cuteness is being made for him because that's not what Daniel Monsterfucker Molloy is into!

the next conclave is going to be called 2 con 2 clave and they have to elect 2 popes

well yeah. someone has to pilot this thing

It Is Not Until I Am Expecting Company That I Realize The Way In Which I Live

I was looking at contact paper because I have some shelves to line like some kind of adult and while I was innocently browsing, I came across this. 

Horrifying. But it got worse. 

Imagine coming home from school and your mom’s all “Hey honey I redid your room!”

NOT THE JALLPAPER

My limp wrist isn’t posed like that because I’m gay, it’s like that because it should be resting on the hilt of a sword, but those are unfortunately not allowed in the workplace

Mid-1990's American Paperback Editions of The Vampire Chronicles

Why does mine have almost the exact same creases but worse (It was my dad's originally, I didn't fuck it up this bad!)

They better 🤣

(From Only Fangs' instagram update)

I'm not a socially awkward introvert. I'm a socially awkward extrovert. I am perfectly capable of carrying a conversation, but I'll carry it like a seagull carries a french fry. Snatching it from your fingers and flying off faster than you can process, and then taking it somewhere weird.

nonbinary drag queen called mx. d'metaphor