What is Requited Love? Definition, Signs, & More

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Determine whether you’re experiencing a requited romance

Co-authored by Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC and Bailey Cho

Last Updated: October 4, 2024 Fact Checked

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• Definition
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• Signs
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• Requited vs Unrequited Love
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• Can unrequited love become requited?
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• Expert Q&A

|Show more |Show less

Love is one of the most magical feelings in the entire world, but how do you know if you’re experiencing a mutual connection with someone? Luckily, it’s not as tricky as it seems, and there are several ways to determine whether you’re just friends…or something more! In this article, we’ll go over the meaning and common signs of requited love (plus, how it’s different from unrequited love). No matter who you have feelings for, here’s how you can finally understand your romantic situation and figure out that fuzzy feeling in your chest.

Things You Should Know

• Requited love is when you have romantic feelings toward someone and they feel the same way about you.
• Unrequited love occurs if you fall in love with someone who doesn’t have romantic feelings toward you.
• Unrequited love can turn into requited love if you can attract your crush’s attention and connect with them on a deeper level.

Steps

Section 1 of 6:

What is requited love?

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1. 
   Requited love is when 2 people have romantic feelings toward each other. It’s often considered the best form of love because both partners are emotionally invested in the relationship. Their attraction and affection towards each other is mutual, setting the foundation for a healthy, lasting bond. Simply put, it’s when you love someone and they love you back.

   • Two people may start off as friends before developing romantic feelings toward each other, or they might fall in love immediately.
   • Even if you experience this type of love, it doesn’t mean you’ve found your partner for life. Just like any other relationship, requited love takes time and energy to maintain, and your feelings (or your partner’s feelings) may change over the course of the relationship.
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Section 2 of 6:

Signs of Requited Love

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1. 
   Requited love can occur if both people feel supported in the relationship. While there isn’t a specific formula for falling in love with someone and sharing a mutual connection, there are a few ways to tell if you’re dealing with an acquaintance, friend, crush, or love. With true requited love, both partners are willing to prioritize the other’s well-being and happiness before their own, but other possible signs include:

   • Both partners are committed to caring for each other, even when times get tough.
   • They experience intense feelings of attraction and empathy toward their partner.
   • They’re able to hold effortless, meaningful conversations.
   • There’s mutual trust and respect in their relationship.
   • They feel like they can be authentic and vulnerable around each other.
   • Both partners actively listen to each other and remember small details from conversations.
   • They value each other’s opinions and advice.

Section 3 of 6:

Requited vs Unrequited Love

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1. 
   Requited love is reciprocal attachment, while unrequited love is one sided. Unrequited love occurs if an individual falls in love with someone who is physically or emotionally unavailable. Unlike requited love, the love that they feel towards the other person isn’t mutual, which can cause negative feelings like anxiety, pain, rejection, or heartbreak. Examples of unrequited love include:

   • Loving someone who doesn’t feel the same way about you.
   • Falling in love with a close friend who only views you in a platonic way.
   • Longing for an ex who’s moved on.
   • Wanting to be with someone who’s already in a relationship.
   • Having a crush on someone who’s unavailable, such as a celebrity or influencer.
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Section 4 of 6:

Signs of Unrequited Love

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1. 
   Signs of unrequited love include feeling unworthy and unappreciated. Since the other person isn’t reciprocating your feelings, you may feel like you’re not good enough for them. You could be putting in a lot of effort to reach out to them and make plans, but they have zero interest in progressing the relationship. In fact, they might even keep their distance as you try to get closer. Other possible signs of unrequited love include:

   • They maintain firm boundaries with you…and no one else.
   • They’re slow to reply to your texts, calls, or invitations.
   • They don’t make an effort to get to know you better.
   • They send you mixed signals about their emotions.
   • You put them on a pedestal and overlook all their flaws.
   • You have a deep desire for physical touch.
   • You can’t stop thinking about them, even if they ignore you.
   • You deny the signs that they’re not interested in you romantically.

Quiz

wikiHow Quiz: Am I In Love?

True love can be overwhelming, confusing—and totally incredible. So how do you know if you’ve been struck by cupid’s bow? With a little self-reflection, you can totally discover if your feelings are the real deal. Take our quiz to find out if you’re in love!

1 of 15

Gasp! Your love interest walks into the room. How are you feeling?

Woah. Did I just get hit with a ton of bricks?

I’ve got some butterflies, but I’ll keep my cool.

I feel fine, maybe a little nervous.

Oh, did they? Didn’t notice.

Next

Section 5 of 6:

Can unrequited love turn into requited love?

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1. 
   Unrequited love can become requited if your crush grows feelings for you. It might take time, but it’s definitely possible for the other person to see you in a romantic way. Feelings change quickly, depending on the situation, and your crush might change their opinion about you if they see you enjoying life or being kind to others. Love is unpredictable, which makes it so intense and exciting, so try to embrace the positive and negative aspects of it—even if your love isn’t reciprocated at the end of the day.

   • Sometimes, unrequited love doesn’t transform into requited love because the other person just isn’t emotionally available or interested in you. Although rejection hurts, remember to focus on your life and stay true to yourself—you never know when you might meet someone special and experience a requited love!
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Section 6 of 6:

Making Your Feelings Mutual

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1. 
   1
   Let the other person know that you have feelings for them. While admitting your feelings to someone can be scary at first, it might encourage them to see you in a more romantic light. Give your crush subtle hints that you like them to help increase their positive feelings towards you.

   • For example, you could start liking their social media posts more often or offer to grab them a coffee the next time you meet up for a study date.
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   Update your look. If you haven’t been keeping up with your appearance, it could be impacting your mood around your crush—especially if you think they’re out of your league. To appear more attractive to someone, experiment with different hairstyles and outfits until you find a combination that makes you feel confident, or exercise more to look (and feel) your best.

   • Making small changes to improve yourself can boost your attractiveness, both physically and mentally. You might set specific (and realistic) goals for yourself, such as finishing one chapter of a book every day or eliminating candy from your diet.
   • To look your best, choose clothes that suit your body type and show off your best assets. For instance, if you have an hourglass shape, wear form-fitting clothes to highlight your curves.
3. 
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   Try pulling away from them. When you take time away from your crush, they might think about you more often and understand how important you are in their life. While you shouldn’t play mind games to intentionally confuse them, try to maintain interests and relationships outside your crush to help you become more attractive and confident.

   • To play hard to get in a subtle way, you could stop initiating plans with them for a while or leave your phone on silent to stop responding to their texts immediately.
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Expert Q&A

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• Question

  Do you have any tips for starting out a new relationship in a healthy way?

  

  Jessica January Behr, PsyD
  Licensed Clinical Psychologist

  Dr. Jessica January Behr is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the Founder and Director of Behr Psychology. She specializes in couples and sex therapy. Additionally, Dr. Behr treats those experiencing anxiety, stress, relationship problems, and depression. She holds a BA in Psychology from Hunter College. Dr. Behr also holds a Masters of Science of Education (MsED) in School Psychology and a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) in Clinical Psychology from Pace University.

  

  Jessica January Behr, PsyD

  Licensed Clinical Psychologist

  Expert Answer

  You want to enter the relationship as conscious as possible, with as much awareness as possible. So, part of that would be to be very cognizant and aware of the emotions that are coming up as you form this new attachment.

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