The Adventures of.....

So, today was a busy, beautiful day.

A pretty "typical" friday.

Getting Jax off to school (which is always exciting),

Zumba!

Cbear at Whitney's

Helping at Jaxon's school (HUGE burst for this guy-Leprechaun in the hall)

Visiting teaching-Christi Hortin, Cher Coleman-LOVE them

Bath while listening to Mosiah 3 and 4 (King Benjamin)

A trim (pretty exciting when I'm the client AND the stylist doing the trimming)

Getting ready-legging and cozy dress-kind-of-day

Listened to "Hilary Weeks" radio on Pandora

Felt the love of my Heavenly Father

Felt the real peace of the atonement

A 20-minute cleaning frenzy

A chat with Jamous and my favorite neighbor EVER (Meliss)

Tweetie birds and Linc playing in the front "yard"

Dinner (turkey melts with avacado mmm)

Family date to pick up Tin Tin, and shakes at Arctic Circle

Checked out Ivory Parkside Estates model

Snuggled BRAINS out, watched cozy movie

Cbear put on my boots, heart melted

Got yelled at by my sassy 7-year-old, boo.

Starting off a peaceful weekend.

I love these days, these "typical" days.

Oh, how I MUST REMEMBER the miracle of my every day.

So much gratitude to be felt and abundance to be appreciated.

Such a blessed girl.

xo

A Hitter

Happy Sunday!

Today has been such a peaceful day. Ah.

We got to church on time, WOW!

Today, Christian just happens to be one day less than 18 months,

exactly.

Do you know what happens when babies turn 18 months old??

It's amazing...

NURSERY TIME!

I have been counting down the weeks.

Not because I don't absolutely adore my sweetheart, and

LOVE hanging out with him.

But, because he is a little blonde, curly tornado at church.

I mean it, seriously.

I come armed with at least ten or twenty

"diversions"

to keep him excited about quietness.

Well, that ship has sailed and he is just DONE being diverted.

SO, this morning, while curling my hair, I LITERALLY got the butterflies

just thinking of sitting in church with my journal and scriptures out,

writing notes, feeling the spirit, being recharged,

all without the spunk of my sweet angel's cuteness in high gear and max volume,

on my lap, and out the door, and down the hall.

BUTTERFLIES, literally.

So, he went to "cwass" without a look back.

Awesome, happy day.

Then, James picked him up from cwass, and asked how he did.

His darling nursery leader's words were,

"He's a hitter!"

Seriously, I cannot help but just laugh.

Before I explain, just know that this is coming from his Mommy, but pretty sure it's not biased

information.

This little boy is an angel! He is the most loving, friendly, steal-your-heart-and-run-away-with-it kind of kid I have ever known.

Really!

So, the thought of him hitting?!? It's kind of funny.

I picture him facing this new situation for the first time, and adjusting where necessary...

All these kids, wanting the same toys, fending for themselves, and there's our little Cbear,

just hitting to get by :)

Don't get me wrong, I am definitely not going to neglect the teaching that obviously gets to take place, but, in the meantime, I just smile thinking of it. Heehee...

So, as Gramma Cookie would say,

Christian just wubs it cwass!!!

Sunday Thoughts

All of a sudden, putting Jaxon to bed tonight, I had a moment where him being small and cute and curious and 6 flashed before my eyes. I realized he is growing, times will change, and these kind of days won't last forever. I bolted down to my computer and am determined to CREATE time to document these sockety days with my sweet little angels. So that some day, when they're grown and gone, I can re-live these days and relish the little things. So here I am.

Today was a beautiful Sabbath day! It started out rough. Jax was in one of "those" moods. I love this kid and he has SUCH a strong personality. Wow. So, once the roughness was through, we made it to church for the last hour. HA! Yes, it was one of THOSE mornings. I bore my testimony in Relief Society (I felt I didn't have a choice, it was a must this time). James and I just celebrated our 9th anniversary, and I have felt especially grateful for the miracle we have experienced. The point I felt absolutely had to be shared was the reality of the atonement of Jesus Christ. I have witnessed it, so many times, but particularly through our journey in marriage, I have absolutely witnessed the REALITY of the fruits of the atonement. And for that, I am ETERNALLY grateful and in "aw." It was beautiful. I love watching the hand of the Lord in my life, and others. That one hour of church was just what served all of us to shift back into gear and bring the Spirit back into our cozy home. We had our ritual "Jesus movie" after our lunch, while snuggling freaking brains out, then "watched" Megamind. (Jaxon is the only one who ends up actually watching any of our Sunday movies, James and I watch the insides of our eyelids. Ahhhhh.)

Seriously, that Sunday snuggle and nap is probably what I look forward to the most in the week. I heart it. More than words. My chest literally just aches to hold my babies (James included) super close. I love making a "mommy sandwich" the most :) RIGHT in the middle of my boys, right where I belong. Jax has the same little "pant" once we're almost snuggling. It's like a baby about to nurse. You know that pant? Then once we're all situated and socketed, all is well :)

Then we went over to the Cookies for our Super Bowl party! What a sockety day...

My cute Mama made some yummy roast, tatos and carrots.

It was a heavenly day. The boys were so fun!

We did lots of snacking, (Cbear says "mmm, UUUmmy!")

sit sit, (where we lift the littles up with our legs and they stand on our hands)

snuggling,

train and castle building,

Jax and Karly laughing their brains out over bloopers on youtube,

Erin and I doing some crazy Zumba moves,

flying the remote controlled helicopter,

chatting,

Gramma, Karly, and Jax played kazoos and harmonicas,

taunting Ginger by pretending to hit each other and watching her "protect" us,

Christian kept saying, "OW, owie" with worried eyebrows,

Whenever he felt uneasy or confused he says it. It's great.

Crappa did some snoring,

Cbear loved the jello and begged everyone for some,

Jax and Jamous jumped on the tramp,

taking turns stepping on Kyle's six pack, stomach trying to make him toot,

I talked to Beedow who has a brand new baby, Peyton!!

Oh, and I think we watched the super bowl a little too.

On the way home, we heard Hilary Weeks song, "Beautiful Heartbreak." Oh how I adore this song!! It brings me back to pure gratitude for my now, everytime I hear it. For years, I ached to live in a space that is my NOW. I wanted normal days, safe days, happy days. And my days are just that, but really, they're INCREDIBLE!!! Because I am so blessed, every stinking day.

I am so grateful I get to be a Mommy. I just love it. It's rough at times, for sure. But I absolutely LOVE being a Mama. I couldn't love my little sweeties any more. Truly, I feel blessed to have them in my home, and to be their one and only Mama. SO blessed, and SO grateful.

I am SO grateful my sweet husband is still, and forever, mine. We have worked so hard to create a beautiful relationship where we both feel safe, and loved, and inspired.

We still work on it, everyday. But today, I am especially grateful for the atonement of my Savior. It's so real. I love Him so much. I feel like the bond that James and I have is held together by Christ. Truly. He is the glue. And I AM so grateful for that!

Today is a beautiful day, and I AM SO GRATEFUL!

xoxo

Mama's Boy

OH how I adore this boy. Absolutely, positively, more than "verds," to INFINITY AND BEYOND!!! (Every time I ask, "Jax, how much does Mommy love you?" His learned response since he could barely talk is, "To infinity and beyond!!! I know, Mommy. You tell me all the time.") Well, this picture, geese. I am teary right this second, even attempting to describe how dang sockety this little dude is. How much he changed my world, how incredible it is to have a "spit-fire" like him for a buddy--son. How grateful I AM for the journey of motherhood, and the opportunity/stewardship I have to lead him, guide him, walk beside him. Wow. What an awesome and overwhelming task this is! Isn't it?!? Gosh. Just look at those beautiful eyes. So pure, so rich with true joy and excitement. How can I possibly be held accountable to cultivate more of that joy, and not squash him? Oh how daunting a task.

I love this little boy.

And I LOVE this photo. And I would love to dig into why...

Let's start with that hair. It's long.

You know why?

Because he does NOT like haircuts, and it takes lot of energy, and convincing

to close a deal like that.

So...

Haircuts are rare.

It's slightly shorter on his right side.

Know why?

Because he has a cowlick on his right side.

Just like DADDY.

Yet, his haircuts are so rare, that his OCD hair "cutter," Mommy doesn't ever remember

to leave it just a little longer on that side to accommodate

the cowlick.

Oh well. He's damn cute.

His hair has some static.

Know why?

Because this child doesn't EVER actually SIT on a couch.

his legs are always in the air, head buried in the cushions,

or he is mid-flight, as a Jedi, flying through the air.

He has a grayish tooth right in the front.

Know why?

Because he has a cousin, Sophia, who he ADORES.

They get crrrazy together. Once, a couple years ago,

they were jumping on the bathtub at Sophia's house. We heard a loud thud,

came in to find Jaxon had chipped his tooth, on the faucet.

Slowly but surely, that tooth turned gray. He has had a root-canal done on it. Yet,

there it is. It's dark. It's crazy. It's a symbol of his amazing amounts of

"energy."

He wears it proudly.

And it reminds me, every time I see it, that he is a kid and a fun-lover.

He has freckles...Angel kisses...From Uncle Andy.

Jaxon Andy Jex.

He is a "caramel" ish version of his Uncle Andy.

He laughs like Uncle Andy. He is SILLY like Uncle Andy. He has a lisp like

Uncle Andy. He is a lot like Uncle Andy.

Thank heavens.

What a tender mercy.

He has beautiful, big, chocolate-drop eyes.

They are FULL of JOY! They are anxious to see MORE of this world! They are CURIOUS, and

sincere, and see the world "according to Jaxon."

It's "Beeeyeeooouuufow."

Since he was tiny...always pointing out beautiful things in this world.

They seek for more JOY and crave adventure and excitement.

Those very eyes melted his Mommy's heart.

For the first time.

When Jaxon was born, they took him and bathed him, and brought him back all clean,

calm, swaddled, with hair combed like "President Hinckley hair."

Then those chocolate-brown eyes looked up at me, and I literally felt my heart

melt out of me through my eyes. I sobbed. And sobbed. The snorting kind.

Just looking at this little bundle of perfection, realizing he was my dream come true.

And realizing how I had never loved until that moment.

Of course, I love my Jamous, of course.

But not like this.

That was totally beyond words, description, any worldly caption just doesn't cut it.

My whole being felt the "measure of my creation."

This angel, laid in my arms, trusting me. My Heavenly Father sent him to me, trusting me.

It's all true. Unbelievable.

No words, I'll stop attempting the word thing now.

Those lippies.

They need chapstick.

I could have touched them up in Photoshop, but

nope.

This is reality. Jaxon is constantly putting chapstick on, per Mommy's request.

When concentrating, this sweetie sticks out his tongue, licks his lips, bites his lips,

hence, the ever-present red, chappy lips.

lest we forget, the thumb sucking.

And the hair twisting that accompanies, just always.

Those little tight, chappy lips don't hinder that huge smile, notice.

It's dang near cracking.

Just like we love it.

Those cheeks. OOOOh, the very site of his first "hickey"

from Mommy.

Ooops.

I couldn't help it. Those poor fleshy cheeks get bitten, A. LOT.

The ears. JUST like Daddy's.

That blue shirt, twinners with baby brother...With a "popped" collar.

Because,

"It's just cooler like that, Mom."

"You're right, buddy. I love it."

Notice the "sucked in collar bone area. Jax loves to suck his tummy in, while in the tub,

so his ribs stick out. Like the Hulk's, ya know? So, occasionally we get a taste of the "Hulk" look popping up here and there.

I. Love. This. Boy.

Can't handle it, never could.

He is too damn sockety for words, and his Mommy is Crazy for him.

Crazy!

Picture Perspective

(Baby just woke up, so this is the abbreviated version...)

So, the other night I couldn't sleep. And when that happens, I get out my journal and do a "My Mind Dumped..." It's sort of a download, from mind to journal. Then I list everything that's on my mind until it's empty...

I ended up listing a few things that are some of the "BEST" things that I'm not creating time for...You know, the good, better, best talk by Dallin H. Oaks?!? Surprisingly, one theme was dominant on this list. PICTURES. I have made many mistakes, Yes, I have. One thing I have done right is taking lots and lots and lots and LOTS of pictures. Thank. Heavens. Even though they sit in folders on my computer, cds, and external hard drive, some printed out, they ARE there. BUT, I am dying to create Blurb books/ Blog book so we can enjoy them even more!

I just finished looking through photos from when James and I were engaged all the way through these days...I had an epiphany. Those pictures tell a story. Not of how much money we had in our account at the time, not how clean my house was. Not how much debt we had, not even how fit I was, or what clothes we were wearing, or even what car we drove...They tell a story of the JOY in our lives..A snap shot of the happiness that sparkled in Jaxon's eyes, James' eyes, mine, my family and friends' eyes...A peek into the journey of my marriage with James. So sockety to watch us growing. Our love. What perspective! How inspiring! Now, right now...I am re-committed to go create more joy. Forget about.......the rest...........How many things occupy my thoughts--Both worthy and unworthy of my energy and precious time, that fit into ........the rest..........category?!?! Love this paradigm shift. Feels like something the Christy Jex, on her death bed, would tell the Christy Jex of now, with babies, and many things that could rob the JOY, if she could. I'll take it!

I think this is what Dallin H. Oaks was getting at. Each of us DESERVES to take inventory and decide what it is that deserves our T.I.M.E? I am taking inventory again....While I'm at it,

SAY CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!! click.....

My New Life

Hahaha, I was initially being sarcastic about the whole "Yearly Post" title, but I dang near pulled that off! Shoot! Well, I have been "tied" (lovingly) up with other things....and people...

Speaking of, we have a new little person that joined our crazy family three months ago. He has had a viscous ear infection, since he was four weeks old. Five different antibiotics later, our wonderful pediatricians, Michael Whiting and Kim Mortenson, concluded it's tubes for this little dude. Except going under isn't as safe until three months of age. SO, today was that day! He got his tubes, and it went great. Poor little guy, he had one hell-of-a-time waking up from the anesthesia...He looked POOOOOOOOR!!! (You know when you see someone suffering, or even just looking less than adequate at something they are diligently attempting? That's called "looking poor.") Broke James and my heart. OUCH. He has done better as the day has worn on. Looking forward to some serious relief for this sweet little fella. He SOO deserves it! Not to mention, some solid hours of sleep all in a row sounds heavenly.

I have been pleasantly shocked and also just plain shocked at life with two babies. HOLY MOLY! I have learned more than I could possibly put into words. ALL about patience, finding peace amidst CHAOS, more intensely actually creating JOY amidst chaos, and loving moments that would have sent my OCDness into a blustery whirlwind 3 months ago. And THAT, my friends, is excellent news. Aren't we here on this earth to LEARN and GROW!?!? I am grateful for the growth I have felt, even though those after pains of growth can ache, I TRULY AM grateful for these intense, sleepless, S-T-R-E-T-C-H-I-N-G, lessons.

Also, I have been working my post baby BEAUTIFUL (positive affirmation) body ;) out!! I must say, the first time I ran, I could feel every ounce of that 30 pounds I had to lose! POUNDS is right! I felt like an elephant pounding that poor treadmill! It feels so good to move my body. SO good. I dreamt of moving all sorts of fast, and furious while I was a whale that last month of pregnancy...So HAPPY DAY that I can! My whole point in bringing this up, is as I work out, I think of so many things I want to blog about. SO many! Apparently, it's my "thinking" time. I am convinced without regular work-outs, I would be on some sort of anti-depressant. Those endorphins that are released are REAL! I can feel them rush my being, spirit, and body! I LOVE IT! Even when I hate it, I love it. So, my working out has re-inspired me to take a few minutes and exercise my writing muscle. I LOVE TO write! And it truly is a release for me, so when I feel inspired, I will write, when I don't I won't! I am committed to keep this blogging thing a HAPPY thing, not a "I'M SO BEHIND" thing. So, there it is.
I love my life,
I love my family.
I love my framily.
Happy day and happy night.

Yearly Post

It has almost been a year since I posted on my blog. Wow..If you scroll down a couple of posts, there is a post about me not feeling like blogging is my thing. Maybe it's not. But writing sure is. Connecting with people I love sure is. MAKING A BLOG BLURB BOOK sure is. JOURNALING IS. SO........I feel like at this point, I would love to commit to accepting exactly what I do and calling it perfect.

I don't know about you, but sometimes I get caught in the "If I can't do it perfect, I don't want to do it at all" trap. Hence, the blog famine. Not one more thing to "DO!" or be behind on. BUT, journaling has always been a passion of mine. And that's the reason I started in the first place....My friend talked me into it dangling the "making a pretty glossy blog book at the end of the year" idea over my head. I ADORE that idea. Absolutely. So, Maybe it's a good time to re-commit. I love being real, and sharing my passion, journaling my passion, Jaxon's hilariousisms, lessons learned, priceless perspective that only occurs in the heat of each moment. Those moments pass, then......Poof, the window closes and a moment is potentionally lost.

Here I go.

New moment. New day.

Love.

Grateful

I am SO grateful.
My life has completely refocused.
I feel so renewed.
I feel refreshed.
The dust has settled.
Clarity
Definite purpose.
Where the fog obscured my vision,
now precise sharpness graces my eyes.
Contentment.
I feel so empowered.
I feel like an instrument in my Master's hand.
I feel excitement!!!!!!
Life is NOW,
I am living it, NOW!
The wait is over.
I feel the abundance I have, in every whit of me.
I feel the fulfillment of tomorrow swelling into now.
My Spirit is enlarged.
My mind is quiet.
My heart has the power,
My mind is following it's direction.
The magnificence of today is a GIFT,
and
I am grateful.

So Live Your Life

A-a a-a a-a....

You know this one?

I love this song....I don't blog too much these days. Instead, I find myself
playing bad guys with Jaxon,

reading, writing in my journal,

cloroxing the toilet and ALL surrounding areas AGAIN...We have an amateur hose on the loose.

talking to someone I love,

watching Mr. Deeds with James Lorin Jex,

working my ace out,

smiling at strangers,

making something pleasing and healthy (or not) to eat,

taking pictures,

singing my brains out, playing the guitar, piano,

finding myself deeply infatuated with Urban Outfitters

dancing to Lionel Richie's song, "Love Oh Love," with my Jax,

feeding into my ipod playlist...MORE MUSIC addiction, beautifying someone's hairs,

eating like it's Armageddon at a Wendover buffet, realizing AGAIN I just do not like fish...thought I'd try one more time. EEK.

organizing photos, lots of them.

BEING so grateful,

learning to waltz with boy,

snuggling my fam,

going on a jungle safari..making...it while monkeys, elephants, and alligators roam about, (sounds exotic--it is. Anniversary Inn is a world all its own.)

patting myself on the back for updating my facebook status, in 3.5 seconds then red exing out,

chatting with one of my "ibuddies" you know who you are,

asking incessantly as if for the first time, "You can choose nice or mean, which do you choose?"

LAUGHING MY FREAKING BRAINS OUT with one who's brains aren't already out,

finding steals of deals--quirky treasures--at Plato's Closet with my pregnant and darling sista, Niki,

making blanket huts of all dimensions and designs,

writing in my sexy breakthrough book--including thoughts and feelings I don't believe but know to be true,

loving unconditionally--thinking about my angels in the flesh-you

biting the insides of my cheeks as Jax so eloquently airs yet another "Where-the-hell-did-that-come-from?" comment,

being actively pursued by casino security for taking a picture...who knew?

relaxing (huh?) yeah you know, sitting on my butt!!!....Hmm.

Imagine that?! I have recently discovered that I don't blog each movement I make, or each outing we take....
I have decided that I enjoy much more living my life in. the. mo-ment.

The release I experience from writing is therapeutic dare I say, orgasmic. I have found that the dynamic of the "blog writing" for me is very different. As you can see, I have been nearly dead on my blog, and have sincerely come to find out that FOR ME, it may not fit my idiom. I much prefer a genuine conversation or a hand-written private entry in my stretegically selected, worn-on-the-edges, self-expressing journal in Christy's chicken scratch. Maybe this feeling will morph with time, but for me, for now, it's true.

OH, and also, experiencing some nasty curse not being allowed to add bloody pictures to my posts...So here it is...a word-only post!

The word is,
BE-ing

As I commit to be the walking embodiment of this phrase,

So live your life...

I Am Alive

It has been a very long time since I have squeeled on my blog, a very l.o.n.g time. Life has definitely been exciting and full of lessons!!! The good news is:

1. I have an unbelievable family, this chaos is soothing to me;)

2. I have a very energetic and gorgeous little man, I adore him. He is fun and crazy and teaches me patience all the time.

3. I have been so blessed to be able to experience Impact Training--Quest, Summit and currently in Lift-Off. It has been UNBELIEVABLE. I love my Impact family, and have collected so many nuggets and have learned how to create peace within myself, even amidst turbulence.

4. I am SO BLESSED. I really see the Lord's hand in my every day. I realize that my life has been turned upside down, and would appear "chaotic" and "out-of-control" but I feel so much peace, truly, amidst seemingly insurmountable trials. (I choose to call them adventures.) For that I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO grateful, my tangible peace. "No, no they can't take that away from me." (Franky)

That's the good news.

I'll Stay Here Please

Here we are, in Strawberry, on a hike, wearing sexy bright orange, so we won't be mistaken for Bambi and his Mom and Dad.

I think it worked.

Here we are on top of a mountain. Some of the Cookie family. This hike was beautiful once we arrived at the top, but pretty much killed us every step, straight up... Poor Jamous, had Jax on his shoulders the whole freaking time! One of those, "trying-to-love-this-but-swearing-under-your-breath-and-pretty much-hyperventilating-but-pasting-a-fun-lover-grin-on" types of hikes.

With staff in hand, he looks on.

BUT-soooo-worth-it. Inconceivable view from the top.

Jax and "Gingey."

Looking through God's windows.

Scrumptious

You wanna go? I'm in.

Oh Fall How I Adore You,

The smells,

the colors,

the coziness,

the chilly hoodie weather,

the General Conference feeling,

the "heading into Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas season" feeling,

the boots,

the rustiness,

pumpkins,

pink nose on my Jaxon,

fresh, chilly air through our home,

hot apple cider,

Lipton extra noodle soup every night before bed,

snuggling muscly Jamous in a hoodie and cologne(mmm),

cold air with tons of blankets on at night,

cozy harvest decorations that warm up my home,

crunchy colorful leaves,

walks in the mountains with my boys,

Jax discovering all the different colors the leaves turn: "yellow, owange, wed, gween, and bwue,"

all the cute jackets, scarves, hats,

BYU football season,

the movies,

big, soft, fluffy socks

I'm in love, I'm in love and I don't care who knows it...

Remembering

Sarah Palin

{Brilliant, LOVE her...}

Nuggets

This past week has been BYU Education Week! The theme this year is The Life Long Journey of Learning. Anyone who really knows me and my family knows we check out of reality for one week a year and practically move into the Wilkinson Center at BYU. This year was my favorite so far, honestly. I have been going since I was 14 and loved every year, this year I have been "prepared" for learning like never before, so I was blessed with too many "light bulbs" to count. SO GRATEFUL.

My mom and I go "turbo" style. Early morning till late at night. This year we had Niki with us most of the time, her boy, Nick, came for a few classes, my aunt, Heidi, and of course James joined me for the night classes. I have dreamt of my husband joining me for classes for years, so I always ADORE the time we spend together there:)

Some classes we went to include: Joseph Smith's translation of the Bible (JST) fascinating details that strengthened my testimony immensely! And wet my appetite to learn more about this incredible man.

The Nativity: little-known details and background on the culture, meaningful explanation that makes a LOT mean a LOT more. Christmas, to me, will never be the same. Such as, I have a new respect for Mary and Joseph that I never would have realized. When you really think about it, Mary has an angel appear to her and tell her she will bring forth a baby boy being a VIRGIN. Then trying to explain all this to Joseph, having already been betrothed, (Their custom had VERY harsh punishment to the "unfaithful" betrothed, death by stoning) Having to deal with other's and their "judgments," knowing the truth, while realizing the true miracle in their midst. Fascinating.

Lots of classes about realizing our personal life's mission. Not just surviving in this life, but fulfilling an eternal mission that Heavenly Father has specifically given each of us to bless our lives and the lives of all those around each of us. For this reason he has blessed us with talents, gifts, passions etc that are meant to support us in our specific journey. Ultimately, to assist in building the Kingdom of God, each in our own unique way.

We found a couple about teaching our children leadership. One idea I loved, that my Dad always did to me (and freaked me out when I was little) is help your kids order their own food, hand the cashier payment, ask their own questions, get our kids talking to adults early on.

How to turn weaknesses into strengths,

How to more effectively study the scriptures,

Taking control in life instead of the blanket excuse, "I'm too busy for that." Which usually ends up being the MOST important aspects of life.

Zion, the pure in heart, and help in preventing our loved ones from being ensnared in Pornography-- This class was phenomenal. Bro. Packer talked about filling our kids minds, homes, with positive images, and thoughts to help POSITIVELY combat/replace the devastating effects of porn and all the sickening media. He had all sorts of beautiful and some funny images, coupled with catchy phrases to make a point. My favorite phrase he said was, "Find some of these pictures, create some ideas and slap these puppies up all over your house and bless your family!"

Recognizing the promptings of the Spirit, how to receive revelation.

The power of opposites in communication. How to be creative with this, honoring others' ideas, the four quadrants of ideas in communication.

Effective communication, gender differences, bridging the gap, appreciating differences.

Building confidence and trust (mostly from a business aspect).

The vision of Joseph Smith. I gained such an appreciation for this great man. It's exciting to realize how real he was, but how extraordinary his experience on this earth was, and how TRUE this gospel is.

But my favorite classes were the ones on The Savior. I had some indescribable experiences understanding the atonement, how intimate it is, and realizing how anxious our Savior is to bless us and strengthen us, regardless of how our lives go, IT'S OKAY. I love this gospel, and I ADORE My Savior. I feel so blessed and feel perspective coming into my life like never before. WE ARE SO SPOILED!!!! I want to share this gospel with the world.

This week for me is truly life-changing. This is just a drop in the bucket of my nuggets, Just think of the nuggets YOU could collect there.

So much love.

Yeehaw

I am loving life and I am indeed alive! I wasn't for a while, but wow am I blessed... I love my Framily (YOU), my family, and my Savior so much and I am coming to life! Hello world--as Elmo would say.

{Two of my precious little sisters, love them.}

Memory Lane

I saw this on my friend's blog and had fun sharing memories with her. It will be fun especially if everyone will join in! Here are the directions:
1. As a comment on my blog, leave a memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember, good or bad but be nice!
2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments. Please keep it going. ENJOY :)

Faith

Wow....That's probably all I should say. We have really had some "adventures" in the last couple weeks. My Daddy had a carsonoid (spelling?) tumor removed from his small intestines, (you get the condensed story that took us weeks to find out. NOT fun, waiting for a prognosis...) They found that a few of the lymph nodes that were close to the tumor were cancerous. :( BAD news. Thankfully, no other organs have been effected yet. But then after more waiting and research it turns out, that it's treatable, and we choose to stay positive. My Daddy is SUCH a trooper. He kills me. The day he got home from getting his major surgery, he was all dressed and ready for the day, working on his computer. What a crazy man. I love him so much.

Needless to say, I have REALLY had some awesome epiphanies. It's amazing how the reality of what is really important in life can be foggy, then the Lord finds a way to CLARIFY real quickly. My family is EVERYTHING to me. Including my Jexy fam.

Also, on top of this, we have had some other very "heart-breaking" issues to work through. At the same exact, impeccable timing as my Daddy's issues. OH how I love to grow!!! ha ha:) I don't say any of this for pity, compassion, or anything of the sort. I actually HATE to be the "cloud" or the "pity party star." I would rather hurry and solve problems, so I don't have to vocalize any negative energy. I'm a weirdo. The reason I am even blogging right now, is because I believe I would be selfish to keep to myself, and miss a chance to possibly lift someone by sharing a bit of what's become apparent, as of late.

I have gained a stronger testimony of how very real my Savior's comfort, peace, and friendship is than EVER before. It's amazing how in the depths of hell, The Lord has a way of truly bringing peace and a warm, calm feeling to this freakishly upset girl. I have been reading a lot and I have found that if I don't personally find a way to really connect with my Heavenly Father, and REALLY put my trust in him, he finds a way to strip me of options, so I have no where to run but to him. I have an idea, how about I remember him always and fore-go the "adventures" to break me and bring me to my knees literally? Wouldn't that be great? I am actually grateful for these times.

I have come closer to my Father in Heaven than ever before and have had some experiences that I will never forget. Experiences that bring the Priesthood power out of a manual and into my fearful heart, never to be removed. That bring the concept of the atonement out of the books and into every whit of me. Some of the things I have learned have honestly uncovered masses of information and understanding that I don't know if I could have acquired in the comfort of a pain-free oblivion. I have gained a love deeper than I ever thought possible for my precious Mama and Daddy, my littles, my son, my husband, my Savior, Heavenly Father, prayer, the scriptures, the temple, the gospel, the sure reality of priesthood power, medical professionals, health, the precious commodity of time, some "retail therapy," and last but not least, the absolute necessity and therapeutic release of a funny movie.

I continue to live in the palm of my Heavenly Father's hand, how tragic to be living there and never look up to notice, those kind eyes? Without heart-ache, I believe it's probable that I would keep myself far too occupied to let silence, promptings impress upon my heart feelings, and knowledge more sure than this body I live in--completely MISSING my blessed and carefully designed situation in which I reside--my Savior's embrace. I considered waiting till the storm passed to write about any of this, but maybe someone needed to hear this.

MIA

We have been moving for the past week. It's been SO.... moving. You know how it is. It feels so great to be where we are, but so many decisions, junk to organize and to chuck etc...I have a lot to catch up on, A LOT. But for now, I don't have much time...So I can't wait to get in touch with some of you who I haven't responded to yet and catch up on some pretty crazy things going down for us. OH, just a note...We are having a fast tomorrow, Sunday the 25th, for my Daddy. They found a tumor in his intestines and he is getting it removed Wednesday. So if any of you would like to add your faith, thoughts, and prayers to ours, we would love it!! I love you all.

Sunrise, Sunrise...

Looks like mornin in your eyes. But the clock's held 9:15 for hours...Thank you much Nora Jones. So this morning, at 5:07am, my alarm on my phone began "serenading" me with "You, are my baby love, baby love, you make the sunshine bright, OOOH boy, you're my every everything that I could ever dream of." Typically when I hear that song, I scramble to hit any button so the madness will STOP! Again and again. and again. and again. Anyone who really knows me knows I am certainly, not in ANY circumstances a "morning person." It honestly feels like the absolutely most dreadful, unnatural, and horrific occurrence, getting out of bed. ESPECIALLY before the sun has come up.

My sweetheart, I love this, used to have to get up at 4ish in the morning to catch the "express bus" that went straight up to the U from Provo when we were first married. Back when he was planning on Dental School, HA! It was hilarious, the first word out of his mouth every morning, without fail, was some sort of profanity. Usually OH SHI*!!!!! Not that I blame him. We are two peas in a pod.

I, on the other hand, can honestly say, besides those days when I used to have to wake up and take him down to the bus-stop, I haven't seen the sunrise in YEARS!!! Not even when Jaxon was nursing. THANK heavens for that.

My friend, Steph and I have had several tearful laughs talking about this issue. She told me about her morning wos and it has to do with the first words out of her mouth being SOB. So now we have a code, "it's been an SOB morning, but I'm trying to get over it." This is one of the reasons I love this woman so much. MM hm

So back to this morning. Steph is leaving for 5 weeks to Florida today. :( :( :( I am so happy that she gets to run away and have a great time, but I might cry, that's all I have to say. So she has been going to Jazzercise for a while now at the butt crack of dawn, 5:30. I decided to take one for the team and go with her today for a "going away" present for her. (not really, but HA HA, how generous am I? Shows how much I love her.) I can honestly say, besides the agony of realizing after that damn song blares on my phone and jerks me out of my peaceful state that I can't keep throwing it against the wall every time it speaks up, I actually have to move my tush vertical and move my ace, I actually enjoyed "sneaking up on the day" by being awake early enough to witness an actual SUNRISE!

I got to shake it using the step. (a fun little twist on the workout--ending up 180 degrees opposite the whole class, SMACK dab in the front one time.) But you know, it really was refreshing! I got to have a nice bath with Franky(tunes) and all the tub toys, of course, but alone! I can't remember the last time I have done that. Normally the sound of the tub water running is Jaxon's que to bolt, strip, and join whoever is getting in. Here are some perks from waking up earlier. (I have been considering pros and cons to see if it's really worth it.)

*Some completely alone time. No one needs anything, and it's my choice what I listen to, think, and do.

*Move that body!! I am an active person, naturally. But it doesn't always come natural if ya know what I mean. Having a little one makes things a little tougher, timing wise. It is so nice to get it done first thing in the morning, so I can feel the release FIRST and start my day and thinking right.

*Heavenly Father answers prayers when my mind is emptier and more open. Those two components usually don't grace my mind during my chaotic days. How about you?

*An extra few hours before anyone is even living!!!! Oh, my goodness. How often do we, moms, complain about never having any ME time?!?!? I wish for more all the time. Not girl's night out, or date night, but at home with no one asking for anything, or needing anything just "hm what can I do now?" type time...Well, it may not be easy to hear, but for me, at least, it's my own dang fault. If I choose to sleep in, I am pretty much kissing ME time goodbye. Choices, choices.

*An overall better feeling about utilizing life and putting first things first. I am a huge believer that we constantly need to nourish our minds, spirits, and hearts by reading wholesome, uplifting books (including the scriptures) AND write in a journal. I LOVE THIS. However, sometimes, as crucial as this is in the overall scheme, it can all-too-easily be pushed aside and soon we find ourselves depleted, tired, overwhelmed, maybe depressed, hopeless, NOT in touch with the Spirit, and definitely not our "best selves."

This, for me is the most important aspect and the argument that might just help me continue to move my ace and start living, really living, when normally I would be dead to the world and swearing my face off. It looks pretty clear cut on paper doesn't it? HM...we'll see how it goes tomorrow when that dang phone blares rudely and interrupts my blissful sleep.

What do you think?!

What a BLESSED feeling...

This up here, has been me... but-Oh my goodness. I have great news! I finally found a system for "archiving" pictures that I actually feel great about! Allow me to expound a little so this makes sense...

Ever since I have been engaged, and married, I have tried to figure out what is my style as far as picture storage/display. I have given a few methods a very honest attempt and nothing ever seemed to fit my needs and not send me into an OCD frenzy. I honestly can't tell you how many conversations I have started {I'm sure most of you can recall one of these} trying to get some input on what might be the answer...

*I gave the "shoe boxes full of random pictures idea" a go. Needless to say, uh uh.

*I tried tiny albums that are only 4X6 a try, dysfunctional.

*I made a couple wall collages, love them, but seeing as I take around 5million pictures a month, not sufficient.

*I gave old-fashioned albums a chance, liked the simplicity and quickness but felt I needed more room to journal a few thoughts pertaining to the pictures.

*I have entertained the thought of digital scrapbooking, still-not my style. There is something about a tangible picture that is valuable, in my eyes.

*I love LOVE the idea of blogging as a journaling with photos experience, but that doesn't change that I still have a butt-load of pictures sitting in my closet...

*Last but not least, I have REALLY really tried hard to be a scrapbooker. Ask Brandy, Ericka, and mostly poor Steph... I really gave it an honest effort. I thought I would just have to eventually conform and get comfortable as a scrapper, so I very intently tried for years, YEARS to catch "the bug" but never could settle in. I need to preface this...I have a lot of very dear friends who adore this past-time so no offense even in the smallest degree is intended in what I am about to say it's merely an explanation of MY unique experience with the craft..

uh um.

After much deliberation, long dry-eyed hours, all-night-crops {poor, poor Steph} frustration, agony, guilt, self-questioning, soul-searching, praying {okay maybe that's a bit of a stretch}, and Christy furrowed eyebrows I finally, just recently declared to myself and all those around {who give a hoot} that I am officially NOT in any way, shape, or form, a traditional scrapbooker. I even brought a tax project to the last "scrapbooking" night. Just so I could still hang out but not be antagonized by the "under construction" relationship of me and archiving me!

I feel like Iris {played by Kate Winslet} on "The Holiday" when she finally realizes she is done loving the scum-of-the-earth, pig-dog, Jasper. She has this glorious moment of truth after he chases her all the way across the world and lets her think "they" will work out, all while engaged to another chick. Iris is standing in the doorway and literally, physically pushes him out the door and says, "Get the hell out!" and basically tells him, "I am done loving you and trying to love you!" You can so vividly feel the emotional release she experiences as she shuts the door behind him and leaps for joy!!! I can hear the music right now.

This is Me!

I am done trying to love something that causes so much uncertainty, frustration, feelings of inadequacy, "always behind-ness," and artificial self-expression to my life! I am liberated! Enter solution. One of my close friends, Stephanie, a few months ago, knowing my hunt for Mr. Right, showed me a miraculous & surely inspired invention. That, at the time, wasn't even available for purchase. Even the idea of it, however, was enough to calm my troubled heart. Alleluia.

It is...drumroll please... Pebbles in My Pocket brand spankin new "Share and Tells." TA DA!!!

These babies are incredible. They are a 12X12 size sheet protector separated into 6/4X6 photo sleeves per page. So what you can do is slip pictures in the slots BUT if you would like to journal or add a small "embellishment" into one of the sleeves you can. The beauty is, it's a 4X6 size. NOT a 12X12 blank area staring up at you, taunting you with its endless possibilities! And a myriad of neglected pictures begging, incessantly, constantly, no matter where you run calling to you, HELP ME HELP ME I need to be loved!!!

AH YES ain't that fresh?!?! I am in heaven.

So tonight, I joined my crazy scrappin ladies at the 5pm-2am scrappin night at about 11pm. Took out my pictures {starting with my most recent pics or my head might explode} put them into the sleeves, leaving one or two slots blank for journaling. Next, I went to my trusty journaling cards and wrote what I wanted associated with each cluster of pictures, adding a flower or sticker here or there. THE END.

None of this, flipping through "idea books" narrowing down a decent layout, then staring {deer in headlights} at the pictures for ten minutes, waiting to be struck by "idea lightning," then spending at least an hour deciding where to glue which paper, in what order, and how to arrange the embellishments. Then another 30 minutes second-guessing myself and asking everyone if my layout {for a whopping 3-4 pictures} looks cute enough. Then another 30 minutes "inking" each page element. Next, lining up the ribbon and figuring out how to glue it so the bow stays frontwards. Another long while cutting holes in the page so you can spend more time setting the eyelets and brads. Then a 30 minute break due to the headache and brain crampage. You get the idea....

I can't tell you the sheer and unadulterated elation I, Christy Jex, am feeling at this moment. Angels sang tonight as I speedily FINISHED organizing a large set of pictures, expressed my {+our} style in the simplistic, colorful, focus mostly on the pictures themselves, do-able way I have been yearning for. Exquisite. Heavenly.

I really feel WONDERFUL!!!!

{and it's 4:00 in the morning}

And I was worried about some fine lines...

Ever feel like this?

I know I do.

Feng shui

I have found an example of a "three column" layout. I am so excited to edit mine to this. Having some issues, but am SO excited to have better use of space on this bloggin fool's blog.

Danger

I want to post about this weekend, in detail. But for now, I don't have lots of time. Let's just say I feel like I was walking around with a pen and paper writing all the hilarious things coming out of Jaxon's mouth. He grew up in the last few days! I can't believe what a big boy he is turning into. Here's a sample of the funny things he said...

We were driving to James' sister's house and on the way, we drove past a wire fence. Out of no where Jax screamed, "OH das so janjwous!!!! Is wike Spidaman. Oh, bess youw hawt, Daddy. Is so janjwous." translation: " Oh, that's so dangerous, it's like Spiderman. Oh, bless your heart, Daddy it's so dangerous." We were laughing so hard still trying to keep the conversation going so we could find out what he meant. Then he said, "Das my kina janjer." Translation: "That's my kind of danger."

The funniest part was how enthusiastic he was. You would have thought the car was on fire the way he suddenly screamed so urgently! Our conclusion was that he was excited, because it looked like the fence on Spiderman that Peter Parker climbs up. He is VERY attracted to and excited about anything dangerous. He gets a little scared, but enjoys it more than I'd like!

We drove past the letter G on the mountain for Pleasant Grove and also drove past the Y. Jaxon told us after pointing them both out, "We betta fine a wetta O!" trans: "We better find the letter O."

I love these times. I love Jaxon's age. The unidentified causes for tantrums, string cheese drawings on our black table, being sent to time-out by a three-year-old all are cause for joy. We are alive and thriving! Thank heavens for the "beverly" at See's Candies, if wasn't for an occasional trip, I might just cry.

Wedding, A Guitar, & Costco

It's been a CRAAAAZY last couple weeks. First of all, my baby sister got married on Friday!!! Then we had the reception on Saturday. It turned out stunning and gorgeous and precious all at the same time. She looked so gorgeous, I WILL be posting some pics as soon as I dump my memory card. (That's why sometimes I don't put pics with my posts, just in case you wondered.) She and Nick are so dangin cute!!!

James, my sweet and spontaneous hubby, came home the other day with a guitar! Apparently he is going to re-learn and develop some strummin skills. He has always played, but we relied on our parents' guitars so he didn't get to play as much as he would like. So, you know, get the man a guitar...why not today!?!?!? It was a little shocking but I am loving hearing him play and sing like he used to. :)

Jaxon and I went to Costco for the first time in a LONG time yesterday. We figured we would just pick up a few things then go to the regular grocery store. Close to $400.00 dollars later!!! OH MY GOOD HELL!!!! Honestly. I mean I didn't even get any I-pods or tvs. Canned corn, frozen egg rolls and some fruit stretch yummies. That's pretty much all we have to show for it. Oh yeah, and a couple year supply of James Mach Three Turbo shaver replacements. But $400.00?!?!?! Geese. I swear that place is like "All-a-Dollar" except "All-Ten-Dollars." I have to say it feels really good to have some food for the next five years, but wow. You would think I could have snuck something exciting in there, like a rotisserie chicken or something. Needless to say we definitely didn't make a trip to a "normal" grocery store, we figured Jaxon probably needed to ride in his carseat...after all it was hard enough to clear a two-foot-square space in the backseat.

100 Things About Me

I started it on the 18th, so scroll down a bit, it's so freaking long! Love you all...

Apology

So I usually have my computer muted when I am working on my blog, just so I don't cause a ruckus while Jax and James are doing other things. Just now "Stronger" by Kanye West, a song I love EDITED, came up and I realized it is not edited. I am SO SORRY. And my computer is being wierd and won't proceed past the log in section on playlist to let me change it. I APOLOGIZE! Hopefully until I can fix this, you can just scroll down to the bottom and skip to next song, I am SO SORRY!!!!!!

Hubby Tag

What is his name: James Lorin Jex

How long have you been married: 5 years

How old is he? 28

Who eats more? James, unless we are eating chips, mmm.

Who said I love you first? James did. Except the exact words went something like, "I love your trash."

Who is taller? James, even though I think I am as tall as him sometimes.

Who sings better? I definitely sing more, he does have a killer rendition of "Sunshine on My Shoulder Makes Me Happpeeeeee!"

Who is smarter? That's hard...In terms of politics, current affairs, history, The Gospel, geography, lots of those types of things, James is hands down, BUT english, spelling, writing, grammer, GPA, I am.

Whose temper is worse? I think we are pretty even. We are pretty laid back, but can both get pretty "passionate" when it's time for that too.

Who does the laundry? Both of us...I have to say he has never made me feel like the house cleaning etc is "my job" he definitely contributes--it's a team effort, thank heavens!!!

Who does the dishes? I can honestly say I think James does more than I do...I guess you could say if the dishes are in the sink, and the counter is wiped off and clear, I feel like it's "clean" so he usually does them.

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? looking at the bed, I do.

Who cooks dinner? What's that? Oh, Cafe Rio usually.

Who drives? James always. I can count on one hand the times I have driven, when we're together.

Who is more stubborn? That's me, for sure.

Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? Lately, James...I have been VERY impressed:)

Whose parents do you see the most? Probably mine, but we see both quite a bit. We actually truly enjoy spending time with our fams!!! We are blessed.

Who has more friends? I actually collect best friends so I would have to say me. James has his group from high school and they pretty much stick together.

Who has more siblings? James...He is right in the middle of 8.

Who wears the pants in the family? You know, I think I am in one leg and James is in the other. (it's a pretty hilarious sight)I have really tried to be sensitive of his easy going personality and tried not to dominate...Cause we all know I can be farely "bold," to understate things.
I love my Jamous. I feel pretty blessed to be on this adventure with him. We have had our share of hard times, but I am grateful that our struggles have brought us closer, and at the end of the day, I just die for a good snuggle. I mean really, I have learned to love Glen Beck and softened up to talk radio (it drives me a little crazy) and he can appreciate turning on "Home Alone" for the gazillionth time just because it feels good. What more can you ask for?
I tag: Mel, Elise, Wendy, Steph, Hill, Suzy, Marie, Shanna, Kiner.

100 Things About Me

My cute friend, Elise posted this and I really loved learning more about her. It's 100 things you would want your posterity to know about you. I hope everyone who reads this does it too... Because I LOVE learning about people, especially each of you. This way I won't have to read your text messages on your phone:) Niki;)

1. I love my family so much it makes my teeth hurt.

2. I am so grateful I have the Gospel in my life. The peace that it brings is irreplacable in my life. I would be a raging lunatic without it.

3. I love seeing the hand of my Heavenly Father in my life. Even the small things. I truly feel like he is always knocking at the door of my crazy mind, wanting to be a part of my life, and when I allow a little time to notice, I feel his influence EVERY time. I am grateful for that.

4. I love my FRAMILY...Friends I have designated as family.

5. I love my husband. We have grown so close and I am grateful for all our "adventures."

6. My Jaxon Andy Jex is my biggest accomplishment.

7. I absolutely know you can do anything you truly believe you can do, even if most people don't believe in you, or believe it's possible. So believe:) believe. Is that a real word?

8. I confess, I really enjoy swearing sometimes...Only damn and hell, it really adds emphasis, and gives me a release when I need it. Shi* when referring to my boys as in, "You cute little shi*"

9. I feel ready when I have earrings in.

10. I love to sing, especially alto..I find Shania Twain, Nora Jones, Rascall Flatts, Frank Sinatra, Michael Buble usually stay in the range I enjoy.

11. I love to read, mostly self improvement books, or factual, anything uplifting but real.

12. I love to wear black. My friends in high school used to tease me because it used to be all I wore...I have branched out, but still love it.

13. My family is everything to me.

14. I love the mountains.

15. I love to write.

16. I loved Mr. Roach's college writing class my senior year.

17. I am working on learning how to say,"NO!" when appropriate.

18. I love dreaming big and talking about those big dreams with my Hunny.

19. I love to fly, even the airport is intruiging to me, all those PEOPLE to watch!

20. I loved French class and Madame Nielsen, I am intruiged with Europe. (sorry James)

21. I love James' calves, they're smokin hot.

22. I love receiving a card, and giving them.

23. Sometimes I have a hard time answering my phone, I can't quite figure out why.

24. I am uncomfortable looking up this list and seeing all the "I"s. Maybe I should stop now.

25. I pray someday I can be half the mom my Mama is to her kids, she is honestly amazing. She can listen and reciprocate better than anyone I have ever known. I still just want my mommy all the time.

26. I am usually about ten minutes late (working on it)

27. I can distort my face into some pretty grotesque contortions, I had to marry James before I would show him any....yep they are that bad.

28. I love my planner.

29. I want to take a dance class for has-beens.

30. I love the nastalga of movies that have a good feeling, I can "watch" even just put on the same ones over and over.

31. Disneyland is my favorite.

32. I love ACN and our wonderful team (framily). It's a dream come true for us.

33. Modern homes are my favorite, I love the fresh, clean, and unique energy they carry.

34. I used to write poetry a lot. Mostly when I was frustrated or distraught. I would love to do more, but about my blessings, thoughts.

35. I love to be in bookstores, especially when they serve coffee and lattes. (for the smell)

36. I have learned something from everyone I have interacted with. I consider it a blessing.

37. I have a hard time spending any time with people who are negative and overly willing to share their "thoughts on life."

38. I love laughing about life!!!

39. I don't like pop, just the first sip of a cold, freshly opened Dr. Pepper of James' or a cherry coke of my Daddy's. I love a cold bottle of water.

40. I love doing Yoga with James

41. I used to play the piano lots, even compete along with my big brother, Andy. I love playing casually now, but would love to learn to sight read better.

42. I can't stand an akward silence in Relief Society after the teacher has asked a question. Therefore, I feel like I speak up a lot when I don't really want to.

43. I love Temple Square.

44. My hair doesn't grow in the front, it's annoying, so sometimes I get extenstions just in the front.

45. I have a soft spot for "special needs" people. I worked with them at Lindon Care and Training Center for a few years while going to Cosmetology School.. I would consider working with them some of the most fulfilling years of my life. Plus I met my husband and one of my bestest friends in the process.

46. I have always wanted to play the violin in a symphony--I love classical music.

47. I can't stand still when a rap song is on.

48. You can look in my pantry at any given time and find at least 5 boxes of Lipton extra noodle soup, I have some most every night.

49. It's thrilling to me to smile at strangers.

50. I did gymnastics for my whole childhood and couldn't imagine my life without it. When I was fiive months pregnant, I did a round-off back-hand-spring in the hallway of a sleazy hotel in Wendover.

51. In high school, while cheering at basketball and football games, anytime something exciting happened, I would pee my pants.

52. I LOVE taking pictures, but I am definitely not a scrapbooker.

53. My brother, Andy passed away when I was 9. He was my bestest friend and I miss him all the time.

54. We named Jaxon after Andy. Hence, Jaxon Andy Jex. He looks a LOT like Andy.

55. I love the smell of clean laundry. Especially whites that have been bleached.

56. I love doing hair, but only once a week these days.

57. I have never been one to get "star struck." I admire people who have accomplished a lot, but have respect for them more than unrealistic obsession.

58. I absolutely ADORE Christmas season.

59. I am not very attracted to "cutesy" decorations for my home, it's just not me.

60. I collect plates. On James and my honeymoon, we went to a thrift store in Ventura, California where James served his mission, and got a plate that says, San Francisco.(ha ha:) There was a homeless guy snuggling his dog on the ground right in fron of the entrance, I think about it all the time.

61.I am severely allergic to HORSES, dogs, cats, anything furry. It's probably for their protection, I would love them too much and squeeze them to death if I wasn't allergic.

62. James and I are learning how to ballroom dance.

63. Ever since I was young, my Grandpa Warren (the star in my sky) would hug me and I would lay my head on his chest while he sang Frank Sinatra songs. He still does. I have loved Franky more than life every since.

64. I have to change my hair constantly, I have hair ADD.

65. I love going to Jazz games with James.

66. I swear the Jazz dancers do one movement most of the time, a sleazy step touch.

67. James and I love to get away. We try to go every three months. We call them our "honeymoons."

68. I love going to Lake Powell, and am working on loving to wear a swimming suit. (eeeh)

69. I love the smell of Scentsy "Snowberry." mmmmm. I want to eat it.

70. My little sis, Niki's, fiance has furry, soft earlobes that I bite sometimes, I really can't help it.

71. I always wanted to stay out of Utah Valley, but we are moving there next month and I can't wait to be back.

72. I don't like doing dishes, but love a clean, cozy house.

73. I remember when the only physical feature on my body I was "self-conscious" of was my feet. I miss those days.

74. I would love to learn to paint, draw, sculpt, do pottery, or some sort of art. I feel like I have something inside me that needs to explode out.

75. A couple years ago, I jumped off the back of a moving boat and got burned by the skiing rope on my neck. It left a huge raw burn across my neck, people thought they were funny by saying, "James, you've been choking your wife!?!?!?" It took months to clear up and I got an outbreak of 50+ cankers in my mouth, gums, tongue, down my throat. I couldn't eat anything but pudding and lost 15 pounds in two weeks.

76. My Dad thinks my handwriting should be a computer font. He thinks it's crazy.

77. My mom loves when my hair is dark, because I look more like her.

78. I used to always wear high heels, but now I like to be comfortable, it's easier to play with Jax with shorter shoes, and I actually like being shorter.

79. I feel like 2007 was one of the hardest years of my life. I learned SO much and am more comfortable with myself, and who I am than ever before because of the "adventures" we had last year.

80. I love eating healthy, but love to not be too uptight about it.

81. I was pretty much a vegetarian my whole childhood, probably because my dad would make the sound of whatever animal comprised the meat we ate, but when I got pregnant I craved red meat and now love it. Especially the flat iron steak at Sizzler.

82. I love being pregnant, and think pregnant women are far more beautiful than boney models.

83. I have kept a journal since I was little, I LOVE to write.

84. My all-time favorite song is "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel.

85. I get a natural high from a funny movie such as, Naco Libre, A Mighty Wind, Best in Show, The Grinch (Jim Carrey), Tommy Boy, Napoleon Dynamite I could go on and on.

86. I love romantic comedies.

87. My family pretty much talks and thinks in movie lines.

88. I love big hair 80s music, it's my childhood.

89. I want to be involved in the movie industry someday. Maybe a stylist. I just love it.

90. There is nothing better than a "power ride" in the mountains with cranked music.

91. I love to organize things, therefore I am in love with IKEA.

92. I love giving Jax surprises and making him excited about anything!!!

93. I live for Education Week every year.

94. I have a love affair with moving. I think we haven't bought a home yet because we love to move and experience new places, people, energy.

95. I do not compete(the unhealthy, snotty, insecure kind). If people try they always win. I would rather stroke someone's ego than play those silly games.

96. I love hot apple cider.

97. I didn't start liking mushrooms, tomatoes, spinach, artichokes, till I turned 20. Now I love them all.

98. I LOVE to be touched, I even love going to the Dentist.

99. I miss a lot of my friends from my childhood, teenage years.

100. This was agonizing, but therapeutic. I love my life and feel extremely blessed. I love every one of you who would read this. Really. I. Do.

A New Discovery

Today I was getting ready in our bathroom and Jax had just gotten out of the tub and was nakey. He was in the other room watching, "Word World." He came in pinching his "button" aka nipple:) between his thumb and pointer finger. He looked like he had something brilliant to say...I knew it was going to be good...He looked up and me and with a look of enchantment and said after a long pause, "Want some?" I thought I was going to have an accident right there on the floor.

So to explain the meaning: Jaxon still remembers nursing. It's crazy but he will lay on my lap and say, "I want some Mama!" We haven't nursed for two years (for everyone out there who thinks I nurse my 3-year-old). When he was a baby I used to lay him on my lap when he was panting, kicking, and smacking those cute little lips--SO excited (every mom who has ever nursed knows that pant, it's my favorite) to nurse. Then one of my "lines" was, "Oh, do you want some?" There was a certain inflection and tone of my voice that doesn't quite capture on the screen here, but it was such a cute memory of baby Jaxon. As soon as he heard that, he knew it was time:) It's almost like this morning, after three years, he realized he indeed had some equipment that can be utilized for "Want some? time."

There is absolutely NOTHING in this world that beats being a Mama. I love it more than I ever dreamt possible. My teeth and jaw ache by the end of the day from all the gritting of the teeth. (You know when you love something or someone so much that your jaw clenches and sometimes even shakes?? Try it now...it's called "explosive love.")

Grateful Girl (read bold part if its too long for you)

I am soo grateful for my Hunny, James. To be really honest, when I read so many people talking about how their husband is just perfect and life is perfect and their kids are perfect, blah blah blah (sorry) I get a little gagging sensation and a nauseous feeling!! I told you I was being honest. I think because I adore people who are real. Genuine. Comfortable realizing that life in fact isn't always "perfect."

Don't get me wrong, I strongly, STRONGLY believe that our way of thinking, talking, interacting truly can "attract" more tragedy or more fulfillment into our lives---but the reality is, we are learning. Therefore, we can't possibly think 100% positive all the time and have nothing but rosy days all our lives through. I believe it's how we handle ourselves amidst heart-break that can dictate what we get more of. I thoroughly enjoy reading about, learning about, and associating with people who accentuate the positive and build on it, but are confident enough about themselves to realize that perhaps everyone in this world is learning and has down right crappy days sometimes!!! And can recognize it and learn from it.

It is so powerful to talk to someone who is gracious & humble enough to share how they have grown in life. Maybe come from a certain paradigm and over time & through some learning experiences has adapted & learned to appreciate and even embrace a different vantage point. Make sense???? I love hearing about happy endings that involve growth, tears, stretching, learning, humility, commitment, compromise, hard work, faith, REAL CHARACTER etc to reach a higher, more fulfilling place in life and spirit. Where at the beginning of a challenge, it might be overwhelming to even fathom facing such trials (adventures as we like to call them) but at the end of the day feel gratitude for the transcending place they have found.

So with that being said, I could name so many people closest to me who have been such in-credible examples of this to me. SO MANY. People who have truly faced devastation and chosen to create joy and to be a beacon of light for the rest of us to watch in aw. Each of you can pretty much think of our interaction and squeeze yourself for me, because I have pulled something from it and it's a blessing to me. I too hope to be one of those who is willing to share some life lessons and always express gratitude for the priceless paradigm shifts I experience. I would love to lift even one person's spirit in the process.

Now back to my first seemingly irrelevant sentence. Today I had chaos in my head, and unfamiliar "uncertainties" bouncing in my brain. My sweet husband truly is becoming more everyday my best friend and knows how to calm the mind of this crazy ocd girl. After reading my rant above you know I am for real! It feels so good when the words that come from me are 100% authentic. I love my sweetheart.

Bliss

Oh, this weekend was so relaxing and fun... We went down to the Cookies'. It was SO nice.

We...
*watched conference (loved it--especially last session--and hearing from our Pres. Monson)
*made a bunch of mix cds (my favorite)
*played games (Apples to Apples was my fave this weekend)
*ate snacks and YUMMY food (Thanks Mama especially my specialty eggs on toast done right only by my Mommy,mmm)
*Jax and James caught a total of 5 bees in a jar and studied them (Jax came in from the Bee hunt and told me, "Mama see--is a bee not a wion (lion)," we were confused until the ride home we figured out James was telling everyone we found the bees on a dandilion...gotta love that...)
*we had some serious dance party--(can't get enough of Erin hip-hoppin)
*jumped on the tramp and played "duck, duck, goose!" (We have variations--it's thrilling)
*snuggled our freakin brains out
*watched Enchanted a few more times (we are totally addicted...as soon as it's over, Jax says, "Mama, I want mow Da-sell."{I want more Gisell})
*had some siestas
*laughed lots
*had some wedding talk.
It was really such an escape. I truly ADORE my family and love spending time with them, really. It's amazing..