Things that help people with ADHD...

...that do no harm to neurotypical people:

- checklists

- fidget toys

- gamifying their lives with challenges and rewards

- having someone listen to them

- having someone enjoy their company

- having someone share their interests

- compassion during tough moments

- awareness of what constitutes a tough moment for them

- making the most of impulsivity

- putting things in the same place every time

- reminders, cues, and anchors/touchstones

- routines that support goals and good habits

- acceptance

- limiting criticism and correction

- opportunities for exercise

- therapy

- considering that a traditional classroom might not be a good fit for them

Got others? Please add them in the comments.

First week dinners

This will give you an idea of how we eat on the road.

Wednesday 9/12
Chunky Soup and leftover grocery-store chicken

Thursday, 9/13
Same (different soup)

Friday, 9/14
Chili over pasta with shredded cheese melted on top

Saturday, 9/15
Grilled pork chops, sautéed asparagus, and leftover pasta with butter

Sunday, 9/16
Frank had his leftover pork chop, and I was still full from our late lunch of mac'n'cheese

Monday, 9/17
Grilled wagyu beef burger patties (made with egg and yellow onion), boiled asparagus, and boiled new potatoes

Tuesday, 9/18
Buttery stir fry of carrots, green onions, and leftover beef and potatoes

Test

Test

Getting started!

As I write this, it's Friday evening, our third night in the trailer and the end of our second full day in this new life. We have settled right into a trailer routine--we're experts, as it turns out, and the change of trailer has had little impact on what needs doing and when. There are some differences in the overall experience, though.

I miss the open-air feeling of the tent trailer. I miss being able to talk to Frank through the "walls," when one of us is out and one is in. (Walls aside, the trailer has insulation and modern windows and is very quiet inside. This is 99% a good thing.) I very much dislike waking up to condensation on the windows, which was an issue maybe once in our year in the tent trailer and is a daily occurrence here (at least until we get to the desert).

I like the big back window as much as I expected to, with it's view of the woods. Visibility through that is better than through the tent trailer screening, and it's right next to our seats at the table.

I love not having to unzip nine windows every morning and close them again every night. Here, we have six windows to open and close just by giving them a shove.

I LOVE the dual-battery setup and the LED overhead lights. The lights are very bright, so our lighting is better than at home! And we could run every light in the trailer if we wanted without causing a blip in our power supply. We are continuing our twice daily running of the generator, but I'm not sure the trailer needs it. It's good for getting our various devices charged up, though, and the overall feeling is one of abundant 12v power. Nice!

So far we have used the bathroom only for storage and middle-of-the-night calls of nature, but it's nice having it, especially in the aforementioned middle of the night. And I'm sure the shower will be lovely for hair washing when I need better than my daily sponge baths (which are as effective as I was surprised to find them on our first trip). 

I can't comment yet on what it is like to find an RV dump and dump black water because we haven't had to do that yet. Saturday the 22nd will be that big adventure.

And then there's Miss Rigby. The first night I think she convinced herself we were parked in the back yard: she was totally relaxed and pestered us most of the night, like, "Okay, let's go inside now." Aggravated by the constant interruptions, I finally opened the window shade at the head of the bed and didn't hear a peep from her until morning, when I found her wedged, sausage-like, into the small cubby of the head board. That's where she spends most of her time since except when I haul her out to walk or eat or stop being ridiculous. I decided to go with it and put her favorite sweater in there to sleep on. Daytime is terrifying for her, but at night when we close all the shades she's more sociable. And, hell, at least she's handling it. I remain hopeful that she'll soon take campground vagaries in stride.

We took her for her first hike today, along the trail out of the Ida Creek campground. We chose that trail deliberately because it's usually empty and she was quite enthusiastic about it in 2015. It was a successful outing. She minced her way across the rivulets instead of leaping over them, and she showed a bit more tendency to try to go off-trail (ignoring my tugs on the leash), but she was quite intrepid and seemed to enjoy herself. When we got back to the trailer, she was strutting about, feeling safe and sheltered. In retrospect, we should have sat quietly and let her have that confident time, but we were hungry and started banging pots around, and she went back to her hidey-hole.

This afternoon, I wanted a nap, so I dragged her out of the hole and curled around her on the bed, then pulled a blanket up over both of us. Your dad joined us, and the three of us slept that way for a couple hours. Sweet!

Saturday update: Perhaps resigned to her fate, Rigby has come out! She has a new favorite spot atop the fridge where it's warm and sheltered but with a view of us and the windows. We're in town for groceries and to wish MJ a happy birthday. Then back to the woods!

From one crunch to another

Now that the wedding of the century is done, we've moved into crunch mode on the trip prep. We're doing some last-minute home maintenance and a whole lot of sorting, disposing, and boxing up or packing. It's fun, but we're a little tired!

Our targeted Departure Day is September 11 (no relation), which observant readers will note is just one week away. Will we get it all done? Tune in next week to find out. 🤩

She got married!

Happy day!

See #mjandjoe on Instagram for more photos!

Crunch mode

I didn't think I'd have time to blog today, but I'm wide awake early. We have entered crunch mode for MJ's wedding--T minus 12 days--and my brain has apparently switched back into work mode. (One of the reasons I burned out, I swear, is because intensity in my life translates to an inability to sleep more than seven hours a night, when normally I do eight to ten.)

The reception area in the barn is emptied except for wedding goods, so MJ has been stringing fairy lights. It's SO pretty when she tests them!

My job is to, at intervals, help her move the scaffolding that lets her reach the rafters. Between intervals, I've been bouncing from task to task, but mostly I've been shoveling. There are still some blackberries to remove from an area that will soon be a flower bed, and I've been working on cleaning up the fire pit (which will probably be a big bowl of flowers at wedding time because the entire West is under a burn ban).

Joe got the barn floor pressure-washed. A previous wedding out there involved some golden glitter, so the puddles from the washing looked good for panning. 😀

A friend is bringing us hundreds of yards of white tulle from her daughter's wedding, so we need to figure out where that goes.

Yesterday we figured out the best spot for the porta-potties, which means we have one more spot requiring blackberry cleanup. I'm starting to enjoy it--it's very satisfying destruction--so I'm probably losing my mind.

There's a lot left to do, and our collective anxiety is rising, so I've put together a big Beach Club work party for today. Many hands make light(er) work. I think we'll all feel better after a crew of 8 spends a few hours out there.

Yesterday, in between work parties, we squeezed in MJ's family shower. Chelsea hosted another lovely event, and it was wonderful to see seven of the eight girl cousins (4/5 of my mom's grandkids) together, especially since Megan leaves in a few days for her internship in Bahrain.

Okay, that's all the time I can spare. Onward!

Sunset last night

I'm testing a workaround for a Blogger app bug. If it works, this post will be accompanied by a photo of our stunning sunset last night. 😊

Long live Big Stinky

Tacoma, Washington, has something of a smelly reputation. I can't remember what was the cause of Tacoma's smelliness (it was pulp mills here in our town), but it was distinct and unpleasant, and residents of our fair state knew it well. That reputation went briefly national when Arsenio Hall did a series of jokes in his monologue that all began, "Tacoma is so stank..."

But when Toyota was putting their new pickup into production and conducting market research on names, they found the name "Tacoma" was associated with stank only in the Pacific Northwest--relatively small potatoes, market-wise. They gambled that we would buy the truck anyway.

And we did, back in 1995. But the city's reputation lives on in our minds, and we christened that truck Little Stinky.

Fast forward to last week, when we made ourselves the proud owner of another Tacoma. It's white like our first truck, has a double cab instead of the legless-children backseat of the access cab on our '95, and has the increased heft, horsepower, and height of this generation of Tacomas, so its name was obvious: Big Stinky.

We're pretty excited. The tow capacity is a staggering 6,500 pounds--literally 3,000 pounds more than the van--so we're abundantly covered for our little trailer, and we have some cushion if we ever want to upgrade. And it's cute in a manly way and kind of fun to drive once you put your brain in truck mode. My favorite feature is the tonneau cover, a nifty contraption that folds forward in sections so you can access the whole bed without having to crawl. Slick!

Other than car shoppingand starting to prep the van for sale, the week was devoted to clearing out the house. I took a big load to charity and sold 1000 paperbacks to HPB (for a whopping $10--I should have given them to charity too). All of the art and tchotchkes are either packed up or gone. And last night I sorted and stored my collection of office supplies and am officially banned from ever shopping a back-to-school sale again.

We have bare walls and empty shelves all through the house. It's a little surreal to look at, and I absolutely love it.

What's left: the furniture and the contents of the kitchen cupboards (most of which we're keeping at least until after the wedding houseguests leave), the garage (*shudder*), the music gear, the electronics, our personal clothing and belongings, and all the things I won't be able to see until all that is dealt with.