i love how 90% of the time, it’s optimus

Somedays I need sume good old

“Do you really think you can win this war, Megatron?”

“Win? My cause, will win. My Decepticons, will win. Me… I lost the second we ended in opposite sides, Prime.”

But others I’m all up for some

“Decepticons! Do not let Prime’s massive tits intimidate you!”

“Uhhhhh”

“My autobots, we can’t let Megatron’s shiny aft distract us in battle”

“UHHHHH”

besties

Once again, critics are wildly put of touch with what the average moviegoer wants.

none of you are the average moviegoer. I would hesitate to call you normal moviegoers

once again, the Tumblr monsterfucker niche is wildly out of touch with what the average moviegoer wants.

And that's so fucking valid.

We're all in our monsterfucker echo chamber.

Waitwaitwaitno.

Are we just casually forgetting that the first Venom made 850 million worldwide, in its theatrical run alone? True, only 200 of that was in the US, but that's still double the budget right there.

Are we setting aside that Venom 2 had the largest opening weekend numbers of any movie since the beginning of the pandemic?

Are we just going to NOT MENTION that the movie has already made its $110 million budget back?

I would like to draw your attention to this quote from Forbes (which described it as a "horror/fantasy/romcom/superhero flick"):

"Credit where credit is due, Sony was right to bet on a solo Venom movie. As noted yesterday, audiences liked Venom more than critics, pushing the Tom Hardy/Michelle Williams origin story to $213.5 million domestic and (thanks to a bonkers-huge $269 million in China) $854 million worldwide on a $90 million budget. But even those of us who didn’t entirely endorse the film tipped our hat to Hardy’s bonkers performance and the film’s flirtations with outright camp and metaphorical queer romance amid an otherwise conventional superhero origin story plot. With Hardy co-writing the film with Kelly Marcel, Let There Be Carnage has been (correctly) sold as 95 minutes of “just what you liked about the last movie.” This was a case of a studio learning the right lessons from a blow-out success."

This is not a tumblr thing. This is not an echo chamber thing. Sony has just tested monsterfuckers as a viable mainstream demographic target and the results were "Oh my yes."

This is not monstercoding. This is not monsterbaiting.

This movie used VENOM at a PRIDE RAVE in its PROMOTIONAL MATERIAL.

This is man and monster and they're both played by Tom Hardy, who turned the first movie into a monsterfucking movie in spite of the director's best efforts. This being put out by a studio that saw the response to first movie, kicked the director out, gave Tom Hardy free reign on the script, and hired fucking GOLLUM to direct. And when I refer to Andy Serkis as Gollum, I am not belittling him, but reminding you that this is a man who understands how to portray monsters, and has, in fact, played several.

This, my fellow denizens, is MAINSTREAM MONSTERFUCKERY, and has already turned a profit in its first week.

Prepare yourself, monsterfuckers. You are about to experience a renaissance of straightforward (or, y'know, prehensile) monsterfucking cinema.

Critics are just people that get paid to have opinions. That doesn’t make their opinions fact. Looking forward to this one.

Are we just forgetting that time a movie where a woman fucks a monster on screen won an Oscar?

@millenniallust4death some good monster fucking news for you :)

@dashconbabyofficial Here's the thing, though.

The Shape of Water was a low budget art film. It's the sort of thing you let directors like Del Toro do because they can do amazing things with low budget, and while they don't always bring in the money, they do lend prestige to the studio. TSoW made 63 million domestic and 195 million including international.

Venom 2, on the other hand, brought in 90 million dollars on its first weekend of domestic release during a pandemic. Over the last three weekends, it's brought in 147 million. (And another 44 million from a very small international release. It hasn't hit China yet.) Combined, that's just 4 million short of what TSoW brought in over four months.

The Shape of Water convinced Hollywood to keep letting Del Toro make movies. Venom and Venom 2 is teaching Hollywood that monsterfuckers are a demographic.