lord, send me a mechanic if i'm not beyond repair

dungeon-moss:

unashamedly-enthusiastic:

Tried to tip a tumblr blog at 1am and it was such a suspicious transaction it immediately put a full fraud freeze on my account

Fortunately, banks no longer just ask ‘did you make that transaction’ they want to make sure you weren’t scammed into making that transaction and 5mins after their call will give away all your money anyway.

This is an honest to goodness life saving movement and I cannot be happier banks are adopting it

Unfortunately, it meant I had to have the most embarrassing financial call of my life

-

Me: Ah yeah I was just trying to tip a tumblr blog

Cash: right and were you directed there by a Facebook link? An Instagram advert?

Me: no I was just on tumblr…on purpose

-

Caah: and this person asked you for money?

Me: oh no they just had a funny story, which happened to be about money and I thought, “wouldn’t it be funny if I tipped them”

-

Me: * covering a reblog by reblog update on the adventures my mutual was having *

Cash: okay I don’t think that can actually happen though..

Me: It might not have, but i was happy to tip them just because it was funny

-

Cash: and how well do you think you know this person?

Me: *considers explaining how much I know about a beloved mutual without ever knowing their name or face* … I have no idea who this person is

I think in the end Cash decided there was no saving me from myself

ghostcrows:

lucien-calore:

ghostcrows:

lucien-calore:

ghostcrows:

I like when people like a character so way too much that it transcends even self shipping or kinning and becomes more of a patron saint that you pray to type of deal

“patron saint” stop using catholic figures in a blasphemous way! it’s disrespectful to catholics.

youve made me very happy by saying this

you…enjoy being disrespectful to catholics?

xxx-m34l-pr3pp3r-xxx:

why censor it like this

girlgrimer:

girlgrimer:

How are my sweetie pees

I Said How The Fuck Are My Fucking Sweetie Pees

yugirimistwalker:

georgebbwbush:

yugirimistwalker:

its crazy how hyraxes can only awawa and scream

hey hold on squiggy the hyrax shut up for a second. has antonin scalia always been in this image

rubykgrant:

snaxle:

snaxle:

snaxle:

shrek 5’s teaser animation isnt bad you’re just nostalgic for movies made in 2001

“OMG why is there TIKTOK??? IN THE SHREK UNIVERSE?” <- person who has never seen shrek before

shrek has always been full of pop culture references. you just think it’s cringe now because you’re 20+ years older. now shut up and enjoy shrek’s lesbian daughter voiced by zendaya and pinocchio making thirst trap edits of shrek twerking on tiktok

this is a neat way to find out about Shrek 5

creatorbiaze:

darklight-owl:

mindflamer:

original by clairetablizo

@sepiamestus is this how it’s supposed to be done

oh. oh dear.

uhm. yeah that.. that explains it.

dykeleftinhotcar:

stop eating turkish delight with the witch in white and come eat hummus with mr. tumnus

bongjoonheaux:

bongjoonheaux:

This is a minor thing but it is very annoying to me when people replace every instance of “th” with þ, while ignoring the existence of ð. Like those indicate very different sounds I’m sorry you are not really saying “þat, þis, þose” unless you are hosing me down with saliva

Now, writing like ðis might be confusing, but at ðe very least ðis actually follows what English sounds like. I only ask for consistency. “ðis þeremin.” “ðat þursday.” “ðis is ðe þanks I get?”