Chapter Text
"Lady Rozemyne, candidate for Archduke of Ehrenfest the Tenth, do you understand the gravity of what you have done?"
"I didn't even know..." Hey, don't interrupt me!
It would be easy to answer if you let me answer you!
I mean, absolutely nobody told me that such a group existed!
I don't even know them!
"I know from my son Anastasias that you are very direct in speaking, so I will be direct with you, do you have loyalty to us, the sacred royal family?"
I didn't even know I was getting into this!
Calm down Rozemyne!
How I would like to shout this to the whole world!... it's a pity I can't, because of the etiquette. You don't even know if the rumours are true... what do they have to do with you losing political support because of me? I mean, from the history classes I took, you haven't made many good political moves. You seriously didn't think that doing a big purge after a civil war would be a terrible idea.
If you are afraid of them, you only have to get rid of the leaders, not almost an entire duchy and its supporters!
And then it occurs to you to remedy your mistake in the worst way!
Don't you realize that the priests in the temple you removed!
Are the ones who have to give mana to the Earth!
Where the hell are they even using their mana now!
"Under normal circumstances, you would be executed on the spot, but for obvious reasons of shortage of nobles, mana and especially talented nobles you are given the opportunity to express your position and opinion" Trauerqual said
Shortages that you aggravated!
Wait, what?!
Is it that bad?!
Ferdinand help!!!!!
None of this is my fault, is it?!
It's not my fault to learn about rituals!
What am I supposed to read if there are only those texts in the temple!
Calm down Rozemyne... hmmm... I can't think of anything!.. It's not my fault that Dunkelfelger wants to play Ditter all the time! Ditter that! Ditter there!
They only think of ditter!
Well, everything I talked about was mainly due to Dunkelfelger. Come to think of it I only talked about the spear of Leidenschaft and the shield of Schutzaria. The same thing happened with the sword of Ewigeliebe, in the first-year classes. But nothing else happened at that time.
And the cloak of God of Darkness should only be known to some of the order of knights of sovereignty, Rauffen, Hirchur and some students of Ehrenfest. I just said that if we pray we could get them easily. Come on just pray with your heart and the gods will reward you!
There are literally gods in this world, otherwise, how do you explain the blessings of different colours?
Although it was strange that there were many more people than expected, for an Ehrenfest game on the thirteenth, at that time. Could it be that there was a blue priest in the crowd? It would not be unusual for them to do more research on the temple if they noticed that I used divine instruments... and more so if I told them to pray. I don't remember anything else of relevance.
My goodness, I really seem to be against royalty. Hmmm, in the investigation of the Tunisbefallen incident, we ended up talking about the scriptures. It's Immanuel who stuck his nose in where it didn't belong. He kind of creeps me out, he looks like another weirdo, more or less like Harmunt. Did I miss something? That silly royalty can't even see whose fault it really is.
It doesn't even cross their minds that they are blaming me for everything!
I racked my brain for any information I might be forgetting. And suddenly I remembered when I was asked with a seriousness I had never seen before:
"Do you want to be, Zent?" It echoed in my mind. His gaze was definitely the iciest...clearly waiting for me to say no. What would have happened if I had said yes...well I'll never know.
Of course, I don't want to be Queen or Zent, I just want to read, without any worries. I hate this world, where I have to worry about even... well everything. There's also the Zent selection circle, but I don't remember the conversation taking that turn. Well, Ferdinand insisted that I not say anything, and that's exactly what I did. What happened then?
I don't have the slightest idea.
Suddenly I was no longer the focus of attention. Damn, I got really distracted by my own thoughts. What's wrong with that man? Worry came over me. Why is he looking at my Ferdinand? What was his name? Ahhh Raublut, you have the face of a few friends. I felt a knot of anxiety forming in my stomach as I continued to listen. Great, now they want to interrogate Ferdinand.
But he didn't do anything to you! However, confusion and intrigue invaded me when I heard the term "Adalgisa" for the second time... Is it a place or a person? It is neither in the scriptures nor do I usually hear that word. Well, I don't think it's that big of a deal.
Bwuh?¡?¡.
Did they just call it a feystone?!
And Rebel on top of that?!
What do you mean, his name is not Ferdinand, but Quinta!
What's going on?!
I felt my heart beating harder and harder. I looked at Ferdinand and instantly understood that this was serious, very serious. I never saw that look on his face... this is affecting him. That's more than sure. From what I see in the corners of his eyes... he's feeling guilt and, sadness?. It's very subtle, but I've never seen him so worried before. I wonder what could have happened to make his expression so sombre. I kept listening.
Ohhh, so Adalgisa is a place. But what does it have to do with him being a Feystone?
I want to help you, but I don't even know what he has to do with all this. In the beginning, I thought they were going to complain to him about the supposed problems I caused... but nothing like that happened.
Who is Seradina? what a beautiful name.
Tragedy struck my heart when I heard about his mother's death. Seradina was your mother? Ohhh no... How did your mother die in that place? I felt a deep sorrow in him, I don't wish anyone to lose their family. Especially not a mother...
Why would it be your fault? Some things just end up happening, sometimes we have no control over some events. For example, some unexpected accident. Like the silly way, I died in my past life. Death by crushing by books... I still can't believe I died like that... but how ironic. Shuu ended up being right.
I kept listening, trying to pick up the slightest piece of information to use for negotiation.
Ahhh, so Adalgisa is a villa. Villa... villa... palace... for who... for what? Hmmm... I feel like I'm missing something key to understanding all this. It's so hard to try to understand when they're almost just using lofty euphemisms.
If they continue like this Ferdinand is going to get angry and it won't be my fault if something happens to them. Come on, they're treating him like he's not even a noble. It's getting worse. How dare they issue an ultimatum to Ferdinand! He has to usurp Sylvester or else he has to marry in Ahrensbach! Seriously, someone tells me why coming from Adalgisa's villa is such a big deal?!
Wait, Ferdinand, why didn't you tell me something so important?!
"Why you never told me...?" I whispered. You are always so mysterious, saying only what you consider important.
And suddenly I realized... the most important thing. My goodness, everything that is happening, it's my fault. That day, I just wanted to read together with Ferdinand in the library... I just wanted to spend time with him. He even told me that He shouldn't. Now I just see the reason.
I thought I could get him distracted, with things other than work or research. If I had never taken him with me, Raublut would never have found out about it. Because of my selfish desires... will he have to go to Ahrensbach?
Wait he's marrying Detline?!
Of all the single women, why should it be her!
I do not want him to leave Ehrenfest!
Let alone marrying Detline!
His suffering will only end up getting worse in Ahrensbach. Wait... he's trembling?. Ohhh no... because of me, he's suffering. True, he couldn't hurt Sylvester, that's what I am pretty sure. Sylvester matters a lot to Ferdinand. Well if you already lost your parents... then you would only have your only sibling left.
I think it's normal to cling to your last living family member. But that's no excuse for you to have to sacrifice yourself for the sake of Ehrenfest. You're not even considering going to Ahrensbach, are you? I hate it when you don't put yourself first. And don't give me that it was the best thing for Ehrenfest! Surely there's a way around that!
There always is!
"Do you have loyalty to us, the sacred royal family?" They ended up asking him the same question they asked me.
Forgive me, Ferdinand, I put you at this crossroads. But, I still don't understand why being a fruit of Adalgisa has anything to do with your loyalty. Now that I think about it, I don't know anything about you...
I don't know your favourite colour.
I know he is reserved, very reserved, he doesn't usually talk much.
Well, he only speaks what he considers necessary.
Why is he like that, so suspicious?
I know almost nothing about his past.
Where is Adalgisa?... I don't know.
How long were you living without parents?.... I don't know.
I hope it won't be... too long. Everyone needs gyuu. And more someone like him.
Hmmm. I think his favourite dish is consommé...I think he also likes mint cookies.
He likes to do research. But I don't know in which branch he specializes.
I don't know anything else...
I didn't even know his mother's name was Seranida.
I didn't even know his real name was Quinta.
How dare I call him family... if I don't know him.
I thought I knew him well. But how wrong I could be. I turned to look at him one last time, out of the corner of my eye. And I was just completely terrified. My God, there's not even his classic fake, Mr. Evil smile. He's not just uncomfortable with all this... he's in pain. He's in a lot of pain. And it's my fault.
"How did this happen...". Maybe they're all right, I'm just trouble. I don't want him to suffer... any more than he probably already has.
If I had never learned about rituals and sacred tools, this wouldn't be happening, would it? Come to think of it, from the first moment I became Rozemyne... I just caused trouble. And all because of my obsession with reading. No, even much earlier. I couldn't appreciate my first mother... I couldn't even say goodbye to her properly.
You don't know how much I miss you, mother.
Sometimes... I just want to give you one last hug.
And tell you how much I love you.
I miss you so much...
And now Ferdinand is suffering because of my desire to read. Why is this happening? Do the gods want to punish me every time I want to read? I feel that my happiness is always taken away from me when I indulge in my passion for books. First my mother, then I was separated from my commoner family... and now Ferdinand. It's not fair!
It's not fair that others pay for my mistakes. I still remember the tears shed that day...
"I have to protect his heart, it's my duty as his family. Otherwise, there would be no point in even having a family. How many years have passed... and I still haven't learned how to properly appreciate and protect those I consider family.
Sometimes... I would like to go back in time and talk to my family at the centre... like before....
I miss saying sister and brother... to Tuuli and Kamil.
I miss saying dad... to Gunther.
I miss saying mom... to Effa.
I miss them so much... to call them, family.
"This is all my fault...". But I have to fix this, yes or yes. This is no time to get depressed. There must be a way out of here.
Let's see... The main thing is that they blame me unjustly... and it seems that they want Ferdinand to go to Ahrensbach. It also seems that Ahrensbach is in crisis. And all because our loyalty is questionable. I don't want any of that. Then what can I offer you?
Manna?
Wealth?
Knowledge?
Hmmm... I guess I'll have to use me as a bargaining chip. I could teach them more about the rituals, and maybe thus deliver some credibility to their lousy government. I could also dispense some small food industries in Ahrensbach. Wait... if I do that I'll have to go to Ahrensbach, for a while. You know... if said prescriptions don't turn out as they should, I'm sure to be accused of being a liar and a swindler.
More and more problems...
What more could they want? Grunissheit? But I have no idea how to get it. Well I do know, just a little bit... I have little clues on how to maybe bring them closer... but I'll only say it as a last resort. I promised Ferdinand.
"I have to fix it... even if it costs me...". My freedom. If I give something... they will surely ask for more and more. After so many years of interacting with nobles, I learned that. I have to. It's not at all fair for him to suffer for my mistakes. How many times has he told me not to draw attention to myself... just look at the situation we're in. I don't want to see him sad... not him.
I Raise my head... for the last time. Our faces and eyes met for the last time. And I felt wetness around my eyes... wait am I crying? What a mess. Remembering my mom and my family from downtown... it got to me. I quickly wiped my face with my muff and prepared to speak. But I couldn't believe my eyes. Is the Zent... unconscious?
Bwuh?!?!?!.
Don't tell me the old man died, just now!
My God, when I walked into the room, it was too easy to see that he was too tired. Way too tired and haggard. He even smelled strongly of potions, somewhat similar to Ferdinand. I think even much more... another workaholic. But he doesn't get properly, he just makes bad decisions.
It also smelled kind of sweet, but it was very subtle. I thought it was because sovereign nobles tend to eat a lot of sugar-based sweets. Did he die from overwork or diabetes?
Hello?
Are you alive?
I don't want to be blamed for the assassination. It would be a major headache to try to explain our innocence. Wait where is... that man... Raublut. After a little while, he showed up. And humming on top of it. Ohhh, there you are... aren't you supposed to keep the Zent afloat?
Why are you bringing a cart with materials and feystone? I felt a shiver run down my spine.
"That should be more than enough." What do you mean?
Ferdinand suddenly fell to his knees... there was a visible tearing in his eyes. Tears of resignation. He had given up. Despair began to consume me, as never before.
"FERDINAND!!!"
I shouted his name and lost my composure. Just look at him. This isn't just caused by his emotions. Something else must be affecting him. But what?!
However, the chaos was just beginning, it was just at its lowest point. I still couldn't believe this was happening. I noticed how Raublut's smile faltered a bit and his humming abruptly ended. He didn't expect me to still be conscious at all.
What the hell is Trauqueal doing, we need to attend to Ferdinand!
It was at that moment that I noticed that he was also completely affected... most likely by the same thing as Ferdinand. They both had the same look on their faces. The one of resignation. The one of surrender and... the one of accepting death.
The moment I turned to look at my whole situation, I noticed that the fireplace was lit. Along with multiple small magical tools. All are placed throughout the length and breadth of the auditorium. There were even small incense, carefully placed in almost completely hidden locations. All dispensing some kind of gas, almost colourless.
All my alerts went off at that exact moment.
It was as if Verdrenna's thunderstruck me, with all her full force. We fell into a trap. And, on top of that, I was alone in a room full of knights who luckily were still looking at the wall, outside the sound-blocking area. But I also noticed that every one of the guards and assistants had the same look. We were completely surrounded. And that fireplace, tools and incense could only mean one thing: we were being drugged!
Since when?
"Ferdinand, please get up!". It was my second thought.
"We've got to get out of here!".
"Oh~, to think that the girl is mentally stronger than the adult, but how funny.". He stopped at the centre of the auditorium. Between me and Zent, he brought the cart full of materials, with him. Suddenly his facial expressions changed completely. He became serious all at once. As if he was preparing for battle.
Ferdinand, please react, I need you. But he does not react to my call... but to Raublut's.
"Stand up Quinta... follow only my orders. Come to me." He called out to him, it was at that moment that I realized... what the Feystone materials and stones were for. I instantly related when Roderick gave me his name stone. The materials and the shape were almost identical.
They wanted to steal our name stones.
"How dare you!" I no longer cared if I caused a scandal. My hatred for Raublut was rising to levels too high for his own good. But what hurt me the most was seeing Ferdinand so submissive to someone. The evil lord had lost... to his emotions. Was my fault and now it was my turn. I need to fix this, at any cost.
It was my third thought.
"But what an annoying little girl, she was right." Raublut pulled out a silver dagger hidden between the armour-like plate on his chest. Blood drained from my face for the thousandth time. I was afraid, very afraid. Afraid of what might happen in front of my eyes.
"Don't you dare hurt Ferdinand!!!". The tension increased enormously.
As he approached... I thought of many ways to act. But there was still reason and logic in me. If I attack the Knight Commander of the Zent, will it count as treason? I don't want to bring more trouble to everyone.
You know what...
Fuck Ehrenfest!
We are talking about Ferdinand's life!
I took out my Schtappe and started to summon the Schutzaria shield. Knowing that I could hardly beat Raublut, alone. The moment I started to recite. He threw a mana rope at me. I tried to dodge it, but I was too slow. After all, I'm not used to fighting. I fell on my side.
It hurts.
Why I've never exercised in my life?!
"Quinta prepare your name stone." Unfortunately... my assumptions were correct. How dare you steal his name stone. And right on my face.
I will never forgive you!
"Ordonnanz". I used the physical mana enhancements, broke the mana rope and stood up. I started to move away from him. I can't beat him alone, I need reinforcements. Especially if I won't even have time to deploy the Schutzaria shield. It just takes too long to recite.
"Harmunt emergency, come immediately" I Call.
But that ordonnanz would never reach its destination, not when Raublut managed to intercept it. His dagger cut the bird's form in two like butter. My skin crawled with the knowledge that I could be next. I was running out of options.
"You guys came for Ehrenfest, the tenth...then I just have to stand in the southwest." He analyzed. I can no longer send any request for help to Ehrenfest. Fortunately, he was still inside the anti-sound area. For, I knew, those outside, too, could be enemies. And I couldn't against so many.
Everything was happening before my eyes, and I was doing nothing useful. I slowly watched as Ferdinand began to measure and cut the ingredients. With his hands all shaky. Clearly, he didn't want to, but he wasn't... his conscience wasn't with me.
No...
I could not believe my eyes.
"Ferdinand, please... your freedom." He did not respond to my call, not at all. A flood of tears came out of my eyes. Knowing what could happen to him. What I caused myself...
But I had to be strong. Only I could save him.
It was my duty... as his family.
"I will never let you take his name stone!". He would not let me use the shield of Schutzaria. So all that was left was the mana crushing. I looked him straight in his eyes, furious and wanting to make a bloody carnival. And finally, I decided to attack with my crush. The tension in the auditorium increased enormously every second.
Suffer!!!
"How are you even still conscious?!" he roared as he began to spit blood and knelt down in pain.
Even I don't know!
Suddenly, as the flow of mana increased, I felt a glow behind my back. Finally, I noticed how brightly the hairpin that Ferdinand had given me, days before, was glowing. How much more I will owe Ferdinand? I didn't end up unconscious thanks to him... I'm still alive thanks to him.
"So I just have to take it from you." He stuttered in agony.
At the same time I also realized that if I lost the ornament, it was an absolute defeat. We would become puppets, both of us. Wait... why just remove it and not... I couldn't finish the sentence. It was at that exact moment that I realized his whole plan or at least a big part of it. It all fit together perfectly. From the very first moment.
It was never to kill us or interrogate us... he could easily do that if he wanted to. That also explained why no one from outside came.
Their whole plan was to take our stones without anyone noticing. Without witnesses.
With the purpose of?!
"Ordonnanz...". Raublut whispered. I also took advantage of his distraction to now send two ordonnanz. One to Harmunt and one to Justus. With a whisper I said the same as moments before, but now to both of them. My plan now was to resist and wait.
However, he quickly noticed my actions and instantly threw the dagger. I closed my eyes in fear that it would hit me, I mentally prepared myself for the pain of a deep cut, but fortunately, his target was another one.
I opened my eyes. Luckily, it only hit one of the ordonnanz directly.
However, I could do nothing against his Ordonnanz. I continued to crush him with my mana, now he was on the ground, agonizing in pain. I also thought of forcing him to tell him to withdraw the order... or else...
To become a murderer.
I was willing to do anything for my family and even more so when I knew it was my fault. However, while I was thinking that, another knight just as drugged as all the others came. With a mana dagger, he approached... but not me. I tried to crush him with my mana as well, but the moment I stopped focusing on Raublut… he almost completely stood up.
It's as if he was immune for a small moment.
I reanalyzed my whole situation. Raublut was at the edge of the area, Ferdinand was in the centre and I was on the other side of the anti-sonic area. I noticed that I didn't have enough mana to subjugate everyone. I was perplexed... I was running out of options... every second was vital. My biggest advantage, mana was not enough to win.
Suddenly the Ordonnanz I sent came, I did not know whose it was. It spun in circles, waiting for me to raise my hand. It brought deep hope... but it was cut off just as quickly.
"If you kill me or if anyone finds out your guardian will die too!". He threatened. He was up for anything too, for whatever he wanted.
"Noo~!!!, Don't you dare!!!, not to Ferdinand...". I could see the cold edge of the dagger slowly and dangerously approaching his neck. He just had to give the order and...
"No... no... no... no...". I sobbed. Why I don't have enough mana... Why I'm too weak...
Don't do this to me.
If no one knew what was going on then... I would still end up losing. I don't want to lose him. My mana flow became so intense, that my body started to ache. As if I was burning alive, like my first days in this world. I noticed that I was killing myself with my own mana.
I just want all this to be over.
I could not give up. I had to act. Not when I didn't know how long the fork protection would last. I simply couldn't give up or cave in. Not when his life depended on me, and me alone. I tried to reassure myself... all was not lost, yet.
Then, the only thing left to do was to try to wake him up.
I started to load mana into my schtappe... wanting to imitate his attack, like the time Ferdinand faced Bindewald. I could use Leidenschaft's spear or Ewigeliebe's sword, both weapons have the same problem as Schutzaria's shield. It takes too long to recite the incantation or it has to be charged.
I was running out of time very quickly... all that was left was to put Ferdinand's mana in the feystone... and he would be gone forever.
I shot and sobbed.
Please work...
I prayed with all my soul to hit the cart with the materials... or at least Ferdinand's almost complete name stone. Or at least hit it gently, to wake him up. I knew I have a lousy aim, so the water gun wasn't feasible either. If he would wake up, it would be the best thing.
But I did not foresee that Ferdinand's protective anti-magic amulets would activate. I quickly chanted Gelit, completely blocking the counterattack. But I noticed that the more mana I used... the more my chest hurt. Ahhh, I suck at controlling mana, and even more so when I'm upset. But the other guy was still a mortal danger.
Well, I just have to finish with his amulets, hit him... and everything will be fine. Everything is gonna be fine.
"You're crazy!" Raublut shouted as he shielded the Zent with Gelit, "You almost hit the Zent!". Poor guy, I'm sure he's also a puppet for whatever he's up to. But I didn't care about anything anymore. I just wanted it all to end, I just wanted to save him.
I Prepare my body and mind again. I fired and chanted gelit, again. This time the counterattack was much stronger... I groaned in pain and fell to the ground from the force of the impact, with immense pain in my chest.
It hurt.
How weak am I?
My vision became blurry and my heart was on edge... please just one more time. I made sure Raublut would be almost on the verge of death and not interfere. I fired again and sang gelit... I completely fainted upon receiving the impact. My mana organ couldn't resist and I felt like I was dying. I felt a huge pressure and rupture in my chest as if it was a heart attack.
Am I going to die?
I have to save him...
Please gods... don't leave me.
I will not give up...
Just one more time...
I looked out to see if my efforts were helpful. My heart sank and shattered completely as I watched Ferdinand's body fall next to the other. And I was completely terrified... I just hurt him. I did it with my own mana.
I am a monster
I didn't want to be a murderer... let alone a familicide.
He is alive, isn't he?
Please get up...
Don't leave me...
I thought as I lay on the floor, my breath hitching. And about to faint... from pain. After a short moment, I stabilized again. I can't take it anymore, I have to get him out of here. I raised my hand. I answered the Ordonnanz.
It was Justus'... that could only mean that he was still alive!
My hopes of getting out grew enormously, I thought I had already won the whole fight. I stood up with all my strength, without using any mana. Only with willpower. I realized that I even luckily destroyed any way they had to steal our name stones.
Good...
"Come... Quinta." It hurt me to my soul... to call him by that name. It was obvious to me, that he didn't like that name at all. He finally stood up and I noticed that there was blood around him. I hoped with all my heart that it wasn't his, but the other guy, who was still on the ground.
Poor man... another victim.
I knew I shouldn't take my attention away from Raublut so I still focused on him. We were all wounded. Everyone inside the area. The worst part is that all the noise from the chaos stayed inside the anti-noise zone. I just have to wait... for him to come. Suddenly I noticed that he got up.
No... if I use more mana... I may not count it anymore.
I noticed that he hesitated for a moment before saying the following as if evaluating whether it was necessary. And he even grimaced... in disgust.
"You know where your family is...your commoner family." No... not them. The flow of my mana increased again and with it the pain. I clutched my chest tightly, in an attempt to calm myself.
"I already told you... if anyone finds out then...". He notices my concern.
"Little Tuli won't be making hairpins anymore!"
"Your infant brother will never be baptized!"
And he went on his tirade. He even knew about Kamil, he knew everything... somehow. My worst nightmare was coming true. I felt more vulnerable than ever. Ferdinand was right...they are my biggest weakness. I don't want to go through this again. To lose my family again... and not even be able to say goodbye.
It's all my fault. I can't take it anymore... I just want it all to end.
This is a dream, isn't it?
It's just a terrible nightmare...
Somebody wake me up...
I was trembling with fear. I felt that I was already at my last strength... but I should not give up. I didn't know if they were holding my family hostage or not. Maybe it's all a lie. I have to see in person that they are well... only then I will calm down. I sang Ordonnanz and told Justus to enter the auditorium. At that very moment, the door opened, Raublut still in agony.
The moment Justus entered... I could see the utter despair in Raublut's own words. It seems that if I hurt him enough... you deserve it.
"I told you if it all comes out. Goodbye to your family!".
"Lord Ferdinand, Lady Rozemyne!" he exclaimed. It was time to decide between me and my family.
I decided on my family...
The moment I saw Justus, he asked me what happened... I simply told him that nothing he saw must come to light. I told him with as much seriousness as I could muster. After all, he knew about my family from the centre, and I think he read the lips of Raublut's last words.
"I understand...". He understood the whole situation in a jiffy. Thank you very much Justus for understanding. Now all that was left was... Ferdinand. I watched the drops of blood slowly fall... and I was speechless. Just look at what I did.
"You are not Quinta". In that state he is very vulnerable... too much.
"Please go to sleep." I thought of Schlaftraum, it seems that fortunately the gods still listened to me. Because abundant white lights came out on him. But it was not my mana...
"Everything will be all right." I tried to comfort him... I tried to comfort myself.
"You'll be fine." I grabbed his hand... you still have a lot to explain to me. I also need to get to know you better... so this doesn't happen again.
"I promise." I Sigh
"Justus... Take him away." I told him firmly. I think the little explosion made both Ferdinand and the other guy react a bit. Since he put up some resistance. But only a little. I took one last look at Raublut, wishing him the worst death possible. Although I knew it was not in my best interest for him to die... if there is an official investigation of all this... my family could be in danger. We finally left the room.
"Washen." That was the last I heard from the inside. Great... he's already erasing all the evidence.
That was the end of the chaos. I knew that if anyone else found out... I could lose everything. I begged Justus that we go immediately to the teleporter to Ehrenfest. I had to see with my own eyes that they were all right. I even told him that Ferdinand should receive immediate treatment.
He tried to get information out of me, but I told him I would tell him later. I also asked him if he could make a manageable tall beast. I would not make it with my strength to the teleporter and he could not carry three people in one tall beast. Justus seeing the situation, asked me why I didn't do it.
After hesitating, I ended up confessing that I should no longer use mana. Something happened to my body... every second that passed felt like I was literally dying. I never felt so tired before... but the desire to see my family again... kept me afloat.
As long as I don't use mana... I think I can still continue, just a little longer.
I gave him some quick lessons and basics on how one should work. Which he picked up quickly, he even said it would be very useful when evacuating or protecting a large group. I have to admit that Justus is very versatile, well that's the least you'd expect from a Ferdinand retainer. Both me and Ferdinand ended up in the back lying on one side, I laid my head on his shoulder. I took off my hairpin.
And I put him in his hands... I don't deserve it. Plus I had to avoid any form of using mana or having contact with mana.
I tried to see how bad my situation was with mana usage. I tried to summon a single ordonnanz. But as soon as I wanted to pull out my schtappe, my chest hurt. Then I measured my pulse... way too low. This is going to be a problem.
Hmmm, I guess I'll have to be on another juvere. I hope I make a full recovery.
The more time passed, I felt myself falling asleep... I told Justus to tell me something, about the academy. I didn't want to fall asleep, I didn't want to know what would happen if I did. He told me about Ferdinand's days at the academy... about how he knew which places were crowded and which were not.
I would have liked to accompany him in that stage of his life... he was almost completely alone for a long time. I still have a lot to learn about him. But I am deeply grateful to Justus, he had to learn the hard way to avoid Veronica's mistreatment.
However, after quickly scurrying throughout the academy. Our first obstacle came out. We noticed that the teleporter guard would ask us about what happened. I must look like a mess. I taught the spell I just learned to Justus. I didn't have time for explanations... so we put the guard to sleep too. Wow, this blessing is very useful, I thought.
I also warned him that when we got to the other side, to put the other guard to sleep as well. I told him it was for Ferdinand's sake. And mine. Fortunately, Justus was still on my side. And so we set off for the temple.
I braced myself for possibly the worst news of my entire life and lives. Well... you just have to calm your mana. I was afraid. I was so afraid of hurting the people I cared and loved.
Justus sent an ordonnanz, moments before. And it was Fran who opened the noble door of the temple. To my bad luck, there was a blizzard. Probably the last one of winter. We went with the tall beast and all. And the door was quickly closed.
"My lady!" He exclaimed along with Gil and other grey priests, the moment they saw me, agonizing.
"Lady Rozemyne, why your hand... is covered with blood...". Ahhh, I just noticed. I got injured when I fell to my knees. I don't even know if it's mine. We didn't have time, so I begged Justus again to quickly go to the hidden room.
From there, I hardly remember how I got to the high priest's room. I regained consciousness and told Justus to prepare the juvere for Ferdinand. He was not as serious as I was, but I did not want to risk it. I thought about getting into my juvere as well, even though according to Ferdinand it was not of very high quality.
Justus after quickly attending to Ferdinand left the room to check on me and try to tell me something, that's when the grey priests caught up with us. And I just started to receive the terrible news.
"Lady Rozemyne, I just received an emergency letter from the Gilberta Company...". I lost control of my mana instantly. Everything Raublut said, was true.
No...
It is not true...
Ahhh!!!!
My heart!!!
"My lady!!!". They all shouted as I staggered.
I clutched my chest with all my strength, for the last time. Trying not to fall apart. I noticed that I started to glow and that I was also intensely crushing my retainers and Justus. I had no control of my mana.
"I just wanted to...". I tried to make excuses, but there were none. Not for what I caused.
I am a monster
I felt like I was about to... die. Memories of days before, of how nobles exploded came to me. Of what happened, when a noble didn't control his mana. I don't want to explode.
I don't want to hurt them...
I had to move. I noticed that the door to Ferdinand's hidden room was not yet closed... and decided to move on in. If the worst happened, the ornament would protect him. And I just...
I know I can still control my mana.
With my vision all blurry I saw him lying down. It's my fault that Ferdinand is in this state. He was supposed to be in his Juvere... it's my fault he's like that. I just wanted to read... but look what happened.
I closed the door. Suddenly... I realized that mana was coming out of me, literally coming out of my body. I was turning into something similar to gold dust. Just like a feystone. I panicked and tripped over my own feet. I ended up hitting my back against a bookshelf full of scrolls and documents. Everything was going to fall on me. I closed my eyes, I had no willpower left.
Not again...
What did I do to the gods...
It hurts...
I can't move...
I am suffocating...
I am disintegrating...
I don't want to die...
Help...
Someone...
Please...
My family...
Needs me...
No...
I was taking my last breaths, as I was very slowly turning into a... feystone. Not even that, I wouldn't even turn into a feystone as far as I could see. Only dust will remain. This is as far as I've come. I shouldn't have closed that door. The glow I was emitting intensified and changed to white.
The pain began to fade and with it my consciousness. My eyes focused on Ferdinand... on the lounger, still sleeping. At least he will be fine. All the people I once thought of as family came to mind. Very different from that first time.
Kamil... Tuuli... Lutz... Gunter... Effa... Mom... Ferdinand...
"I love them..."
"I love them so much..."
My last tears came as I began to remember my entire life as Uranu, Myne and Rozemyne. I had a good life... but I didn't realize it until now.
"Did... I... do... well?"
Someone please tell me.
I managed to save Ferdinand...
"Thank you... for... everything." My family...
I couldn't ask for a better family.
"Sa... yo... na... ra"