i have crazy garlic fingers from peeling and chopping garlic cloves yesterday this phenomenon is always fascinating to me because it reminds me that i, too, am made of meat, and therefore i am also susceptible to being seasoned

ever since i was a child ive known that i wanted to, someday, be the mutilated corpse on a nature trail that ruins a hikers week

the death of dvds is so fucked. what about bonus features

Good naps will have you sleeping in poses usually reserved for dead insects

Dance! Dance! Dance!

weird as fuck living in a culture where it's considered more impolite to speak up and defend yourself against someone treating you unfairly than it is for someone to be rude to you in the first place

This show is dead lol

Walton Goggins for Vanity Fair

Found another idiotic accounting mistake from my predecessor that I have to fix and I was like "WILL THE SPECTER OF THAT MAN'S INCOMPETENCE EVER CEASE TO HAUNT ME" and my coworker was like "Why do you talk like that"

Art snobs are actually a thousand times less annoying than people who respond to everything with "it's not that deep bro"