what are cows

They have breakfast together, though Eddie isn’t sure if what he’s served could be counted as one. He has to be force fed the cottage cheese and he very reluctantly puts slices of cucumber on his toast. And that is only after she tells him he won’t get a blow job until his cum tastes like he has a healthy diet. 

“This is nice,” she muses between bites, watching his pink cheeks move as he chews his “joy-sucking joke of a breakfast”.

“Jump.”

“I’d rather not.”

Steve frowns at him.

“Don’t be difficult or I’ll ask Chrissy to push you.”

“Chrissy wouldn’t push me,” he bristles, but immediately looks over his shoulder for confirmation. “Right?”

She grins wickedly, unlike the Chrissy he used to know.

“Oh, I absolutely would,” she says.

Eddie sighs, looking back down at the arms extended towards him.

the cat lady fell down the ranks a bit, so don’t worry ab it. I’ll fight two mice for you <3

“I think I’ve heard of it before but no, not really.”

“Well, all you have to know is that my paralysis demon is now round and orange. I swear to all I believe in, I could feel him pressing on my chest,” he demonstrates by pressing a hand to his ribs, “while the other two were summoning the Dark Lord himself. That’s how it sounded, at least.”

Steph looks at him skeptically, calmly sipping on her coffee. 

“I think you’re exaggerating a bit.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t hear anything.” Eddie widens his eyes at her. “One day you’ll wake up and there will be a portal to Hell opened in your living room. Mark my words.”

“I promise I’ll give you a call.” She shrugs, turning towards the toaster that just popped out their bread. 

i’ve made a fic recap on ko-fi and realized i only posted one update in the last month and im so sorry about that

Eddie turns towards the counter too, distracting himself with preparing his tea. 

“I’m not answering that before I have my emotional support chamomile,” he says, pulling out a mug and flipping the kettle on. 

Steve snorts, so he sends him a side-eyed glare.

“Whatever you need, man,” he says, and the the tiny smile pulling on his lips dampens Eddie’s nerves a bit.