I HAVE ZENO

I HAVE ZENO blog avatar

RPGmaker sideblog for rambles and analysis

Anonymous

I saw you (?) mention before Fuyu considering killing Aki (and Aki allowing him) being something Marutoku wrote about, can I learn more about that? I'm curious if it was a (deleted?) thread or a short story?

There are a few places you can see this! First off, there are a ton of lines in basegame ZENO about Fuyu wanting to kill Aki for what he did to Natsu–ranging from when Fuyu’s ZENO is active to when he’s a lot calmer in Ushirono Part. It’s fairly present throughout most of Fuyu’s interactions during the game!

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Even in the sidegames, Fuyu’s wish for vengeance is still very much present. In ZENO 4.1, the main indicator for if Fuyu has ZENO or not is in the way he talks about Aki and wanting to kill him.

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There are more tweets than these about Fuyu’s thoughts on killing Aki, but I’m just going to share the couple that I have immedaitely on hand–You can always go keyword searching through mazu’s twitter for more :)

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(The MTL here is a bit finicky, but basically they’re saying that since Fuyu killing Aki himself would be salvation for him, Fuyu is hesitant to do it himself)

I was curious, so looking around, I found these two threads on the topic, added to all of above

@home 実験が立て込んでしまい実験室でねとまりだ。俺の目の前で、こいつは無防備に寝てる。俺に憎まれていることをわかっているのに、呑気なやつだ。 ナツがこいつの中にいるとわかってからは、僕はこいつを殺せなくなった。いや、実際は、こいつが寿命で死ぬのを見届けなくてはいけなくなった  — 旨味まづ (@maduzu) June 27, 2016ALT
@home 頬を恐ろしい力でもって殴られた。思わず床に伏した俺を、息を荒くする背の高い青い髪をした男が、瞳孔の開いた興奮した目で見ている。 「……ナツを、どうした」 怖がっているような、喜んでいるような、酷く震えた声が俺に問う。 「どうしたんだ、アキ」 逃げるつもりは、ない  — 旨味まづ (@maduzu) January 10, 2017ALT

On Fuyu almost considering killing Aki in the lab (with implication being it's E or H route, as learning Natsu is inside him happens in those true end paths, where they both survive and work together during timeskip) and on Aki telling what happened to Natsu respectively, with both threads having Aki actively seek for Fuyu to kill him/in his "he resolved to accept take whatever Fuyu decides to do with him" mindset

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sorry for screenshotting your tags but OUAUHGHGHGH EXACTLY EXACTLY EXACTLYYYYYYY

Fuyu’s a very complicated character in that he wants so so sooo badly for things to go back to how they were before– back to when Natsu was alive and the three of them were happy together. But he still holds so much anger towards Aki (and towards everything else involved in Natsu’s death) that he just can’t fully hate Aki and let him go despite everything… Aki is all he has left and even if he hates him he can’t let that go…

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Anonymous

Also previous anon, as I was looking up related tweets I ran into "Aki would cry if he got valentines gift from Fuyu, because he had resolved himself to accept whether Fuyu might kill or do anything to him as what he deserved, and so he never thought things between them could be ever anything good again" tweet and I'm eating rocks now. Why are they like this.

GOING TO DIE WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM . OAUUUUUUGHGHGH

The small moments of tenderness despite everything get to me so bad… it’s the never talking about it but still reaching out and showing they care…

...Looking it up

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"関係は戻らないと思ってたから、二度と友人関係というか親しみというか触れあいできないと思ってたから嬉しくて泣いたんじゃよ" part is especially killing me.

Actually sorry for adding more on a separate retweet, but I'm rotating all this in my mind with the context of Aki thought it was fair game if Fuyu ever killed him (and really, would even see it as just deserts and see it as salvation on some level -which Fuyu precisely rejected to do himself for that reason, back when he wasn't stage 3 yet-) and with especially how badly Fuyu joining research team went (with Aki for those doodles despite being hurt, clearly trying to brush it off as 'something he deserved so he doesn't get to cry about it or complain') and what this exchange must have meant to Aki...

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Aki hearing from Fuyu's mouth that his existence is both proof of Natsu's life AND proof of his own will to live.

And so asking about it, to a Fuyu who's it's for me to know isn't... quite just meant to be cruel, so much as there is that hint of that's personal sense, yet he ultimately doesn't deny Aki heard and understood what he said right, that he DOES think he wants Aki to live. Trying to process this, while almost looking afraid to even ask in case he misheard it, because SURELY he couldn't have heard it right.

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Just. Augh.

Anonymous

Also previous anon, as I was looking up related tweets I ran into "Aki would cry if he got valentines gift from Fuyu, because he had resolved himself to accept whether Fuyu might kill or do anything to him as what he deserved, and so he never thought things between them could be ever anything good again" tweet and I'm eating rocks now. Why are they like this.

GOING TO DIE WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM . OAUUUUUUGHGHGH

The small moments of tenderness despite everything get to me so bad… it’s the never talking about it but still reaching out and showing they care…

...Looking it up

image

"関係は戻らないと思ってたから、二度と友人関係というか親しみというか触れあいできないと思ってたから嬉しくて泣いたんじゃよ" part is especially killing me.

WHAT IF I DIEED. WHAT IF I DIEEED OUGHGHGH ITS SO JOEVEEEEEER FUYUAKAAAAA

Anonymous

Also previous anon, as I was looking up related tweets I ran into "Aki would cry if he got valentines gift from Fuyu, because he had resolved himself to accept whether Fuyu might kill or do anything to him as what he deserved, and so he never thought things between them could be ever anything good again" tweet and I'm eating rocks now. Why are they like this.

GOING TO DIE WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM . OAUUUUUUGHGHGH

The small moments of tenderness despite everything get to me so bad… it’s the never talking about it but still reaching out and showing they care…

Anonymous

Previous anon: Thank you! I was assuming there was a story or a thread set after one of the endings, as Fuyu wanting to kill him for revenge and his mess of feelings about everything that happened was already there in the game, but I was curious about if there was content on Aki's side of it. I didn't know about Marutoku tweets on it, though I thought it would make sense if Fuyu really tried to kill him (while Aki has his memories), he'd let him, given his sense of guilt over everything...

What’s really interesting about ZENO is we actually don’t get very much of Aki’s perspective in general outside of a few short stories and ZENO NOVEL! ZENO Remake is at it’s core Tsugino’s story, with Ushirono part being added to make sure that Fuyu had a satisfying ending too… You see more about how Tsugino and Fuyu feel about Aki than how he feels about them, and I feel like it contributes a lot to how people tend to water down his character in the fandom (though that’s an entirely separate rant haha)

Aki would absolutely let Fuyu kill him if he tried to, in my opinion. He would see it as a kind of penance he deserves to pay for what he did to Natsu… Which is exactly why Fuyu ultimately doesn’t give him that satisfaction, no matter how much he wants to. Aki has to live in order to truly atone, he isn’t allowed to take the easy way out. He’s the kind of character that thinks so little of himself that he’s willing to sacrifice himself over and over and over for those he cares about– you see it in the base game, you see it in Daily Life, and you see it in ZENO NOVEL.

If you want to see more of Aki’s thought process and perspective, ZENO NOVEL is the april fools game centered around him, and the aquarium short story with tsugino pretty clearly shows how he feels about him.

Anonymous

I saw you (?) mention before Fuyu considering killing Aki (and Aki allowing him) being something Marutoku wrote about, can I learn more about that? I'm curious if it was a (deleted?) thread or a short story?

There are a few places you can see this! First off, there are a ton of lines in basegame ZENO about Fuyu wanting to kill Aki for what he did to Natsu–ranging from when Fuyu’s ZENO is active to when he’s a lot calmer in Ushirono Part. It’s fairly present throughout most of Fuyu’s interactions during the game!

image
image

Even in the sidegames, Fuyu’s wish for vengeance is still very much present. In ZENO 4.1, the main indicator for if Fuyu has ZENO or not is in the way he talks about Aki and wanting to kill him.

image
image

There are more tweets than these about Fuyu’s thoughts on killing Aki, but I’m just going to share the couple that I have immedaitely on hand–You can always go keyword searching through mazu’s twitter for more :)

image
image

(The MTL here is a bit finicky, but basically they’re saying that since Fuyu killing Aki himself would be salvation for him, Fuyu is hesitant to do it himself)

I just finished daily life, and I did NOT expect shounen protag awakening Fuyu coming with a steel chair to steal his dad's wig and potato sack Aki's ass from making a choice he'd come to deeply regret/cut his self sacrifice bs right there. I already liked fuyuaka, but I need daily life fuyuaka especially in my veins I think

BEAT HIS ASS BABYGIRL BEAT HIS ASSSSSS!!!

I’m very glad you enjoyed daily life!! The fuyuaka moments we get from it make me soooo unwell in the head I start frothing at the mouth

Though I do have to say that ending 3 is my personal favorite! It really feels like the ultimate culmination of akis self-sacrificial tendencies, and then combining that with the fact that his sacrifice contributes to kanrais motivations makes me bounce off the walls if I think about it too hard

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For anyone unaware, ZENO NOVEL has received an english translation by KryptoKnight018 on twitter! Go check it out~~

A brief ending guide for anyone confused on how to get the two endings (under the cut to avoid spoiling anyone!)

Keep reading

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For anyone unaware, ZENO NOVEL has received an english translation by KryptoKnight018 on twitter! Go check it out~~

Anonymous

wait there's 3 april fools games? i only know of the new + novel one, do you have a link or something to the third? C: i'm so insane over these guys

The third one is the ZENO RPG!! Where ZENO 4/1 and ZENO NOVEL are fuyu-centric and aki-centric respectively, ZENO RPG is kuro-centric! There’s no English translation for it publicly available, but it’s pretty easily playable through MTL like Google lens

It does contain spoilers for daily life, as well as for the base game!