Favorite films

Recent reviews

• 

  The Day the Earth Blew Up: A Looney Tunes Movie 2024

  ★★★★½ Watched 16 Mar 2025

  “It verges on paradox that the discrepancies separating horror from Looney Tunes cartoons are the same reasons they pair so well together. Looney Tunes sketches have higher priorities than horror cinema’s macabre existentialist fascinations, but think of how many times Wile E. Coyote fumbles his pursuit of the Road Runner so spectacularly that he ends up getting blown sky-high by his own box of TNT. Think of Bugs rigging Elmer’s shotgun to backfire in his face. Think of every instance…

• 

  The Heirloom 2024

  ★★★★ Watched 16 Mar 2025

  Grace Glowicki: tall, lithe, untamed blonde hair, cuts a classic Amazonian figure, model gorgeous 

  Also Grace Glowicki: goofball, weirdo, probes wet piles of dog shit, swings a doggie squeak toy around like a sword

  (no, I am not thirsting, I am a professional, and besides: I’m attracted to the mind*)

  (*I hope you don’t mind when say damn, she’s fine, oh yes I did, anyways this is a very good movie)

Popular reviews

• 

  V/H/S/99 2022

  ★★★½ Watched 12 Sep 2022 7

  bad news, this movie doesn’t make a lick of sense if you haven’t seen the other 98
  .
  .
  .
  .
  .
  .
  .
  .
  .
  .
  .
  .
  .
  .
  .
  (Okay, the movie’s out now, so I’m amending this goofy-ass dad joke to say: solid entry. The bad entries aren’t all that bad; they’re just Flying Lotus-y, which is to say Incredibly Fucking Weird and Sort Of Incoherent. That’s okay though; this series should be allowed the freedom to let artists go cuckoo bananas.

  Conclusion: Maggie Levin and the couples Winter undefeated, corpse munching and demon punching.)

• 

  Hellraiser 2022

  ★★½ Watched 02 Oct 2022 4

  Raiser? I hardly know ‘er! 

  (I do not lament this joke. In fact I like it so much I’ll pin my reputation on it. What can I say? Dad humor is chained to my personality, and no amount of your chatter will configure me any differently.)