Eli :)

Eli :)

Just a trans guy who watches a lot of movies for fun.

Favorite films

  • The Prince of Egypt
  • The Breakfast Club
  • Ferris Bueller's Day Off
  • Creep

Recent activity

All
  • The Scary House

    ★★★★

  • The Doll

    ★★

  • The Binding

  • The Spine of Night

    ★★★★½

Recent reviews

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  • The Scary House

    The Scary House

    ★★★★

    Slugs. Y'all like slugs? You better damn hope you like slugs and snails. And also broody teenagers. At least at the beginning. Listen if I woke up in the middle of the night to find my little brother Blair Witching it in my room I'd probably be a little freaked out for a while. Haunted houses suck. Don't disturb the salt circles maybe. Fritz really grows on you after a while, honestly. Eddi... Not so much. Mostly because he doesn't…

  • The Doll

    The Doll

    ★★

    Who keeps giving this bitch paper and a crayon? The timeline for the story is also a little funky, but it's not the worst, honestly, as long as you manage to piece it together. The tree? Cursed. The doll? Cursed as fuck. I understand where Anya was coming from with wanting to clean her up and fix her. Not only does she not even do that, but fuck that noise for real. People of all nationalities need to stop fucking…

Popular reviews

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  • Rover Dangerfield

    Rover Dangerfield

    ★★½

    If someone held a gun to my head and told me I would die unless I watched this movie one more time I would tell them to shoot me because it's not worth it. I never wanna see this fat dog sing or dance ever again and the only part that made me genuinely laugh wasn't even something he said, it was a single second of animation. This movie was clearly supposed to be an adult animation that they revamped…

  • Hardware

    Hardware

    ★★★★½

    This movie satisfies all I ever really want from a cyborg gone rogue movie. It's so, so good. The acting is amazing, the world building is amazing, it's just a good time and the soundtrack S L A P S.

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