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Elvis 2022
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
something about films made about musicians has me in a death grip. i don't know if it's the music or the storytelling or respect for the artist, but this only confirmed my appreciation for the genre.
first of all: beautiful. i have no film knowledge but i can be almost certain that is down to baz luhrmann. the whole opening sequence with tom parker really grabbed my attention and didn't let it go for two and a half hours.
it…
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Pocahontas 1995
very difficult to know what to say about this film considering it’s a romanticised, glorified, and entirely false portrayal of a real story, but it has one of the best songs that has ever come out of disney.
i wanted to like it for pocahontas herself: the curious, adventurous girl with a wild spirit. but it’s damn near impossible to look past the other million problems that come along with it.
1.25 stars for pocahontas being a bad-ass, 1.25 stars for colours of the wind alone.
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Murder on the Orient Express 2017
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
an hour and 45 of pure ass.
this movie proved you can have a star studded cast and it can still be shit.
the half a star is for kenneth branagh’s moustache and accent, willem dafoe, and olivia colman.
murder mysteries piss me off when they haven’t got a definitive answer. iT wAs aLL oF tHeM. stfu.
there wasn’t a moment i was interested in this, it just increased my want to go on a sleeper train.
and the ‘none of you are guilty’ thing is absolute bullshit they literally took turns what do you mean not guilty.
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