Attention Bajoran workers: I will now be reviewing movies over the intercom system at Terok Nor.
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The Nutty Professor 1996
“Attention Bajoran workers:
I have recently viewed the 1996 Earth film “The Nutty Professor”. The titular character is played by Eddie Murphy - a late 20th century comedian. Perhaps it is due to the clear differences between Cardassians and human customs but I found this movie only moderately enjoyable. Despite what the Bajorans may think of us, we Cardassians are actually quite fond of humor. We have a very rich history of laughing on Cardassia and in reviewing these Earth…
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The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover 1989
I used to always say Rorschach from Watchmen would be the worst dinner guest ever but I think Spica might have taken his place. This guy fucks.
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Battlefield Baseball 2003
A masterpiece in flicks. It’s like if Kung Fu Hustle and the Sandlot had a baby with severe birth defects. 5/5.
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Wonder Woman 1984 2020
This was so dumb. There were a couple lines of dialogue that cracked me up cause they were so bad but overall this isn’t even bad enough to be a flick. It’s worse. It’s boring. And oh my god the villains were ridiculous. I WISH I could have 2 hours back am I Right!? I like Gal Dukat as Wonder Woman but she needs a better screenplay writer.
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