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Singin' in the Rain 1952
A classic for good reason. Whether it defined or distilled the essence of the Hollywood musical is a matter of cinematic history I cannot speak on, but the fact is clear: there is no movie musical not clipped by its shadow.
At its core, the story is a simple one—an elemental one, like a fairytale—told with the originality and pizzazz such simplicity demands. The grandest cathedrals are, after all, built on the most humble of foundations. Every aspect of the…
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Gladiator II 2024
A slapdash mess of a film. The CG animal fights look awful, particularly when compared to the genuinely good fight choreography of the stunt teams. Characters' motives are either unclear or uncompelling. Scenes simply slide into one another with no rhyme nor reason. A handful of good performances prop up what is otherwise a milquetoast script. Entirely skippable, do not waste your time on this.
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Napoleon 2023
First film to show in living color that Emperor Napoleon, Master of Europe, was a real fuckin weirdo who nobody really liked and just sort of cringed hither and yon tearing down the rotted foundations of European states as he went. The real power of the movie is not to argue that Napoleon is closer to Chris Chan than to Caesar, but that there is less distance between those two than you were raised to believe. Napoleon, Caesar, and Alexander would all probably have loved Sonichu, of that I have no doubt.
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The Return 2024
Astonishing set design, performances, and dong. Presents as the real events that would be preserved and distorted by Homer. Ralph Fiennes looks like he has chimp strength and the massacre of the suitors is like a bronze-age Columbine
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