Albert

Albert Patron

Aspiring cinephile. Part-time music video editor. Full-time machine apprentice. 4am review writer. Anna Karina fanboy.

Favorite films

  • Paris, Texas
  • The Five Venoms
  • Mulholland Drive
  • Suspiria

Recent activity

All
  • Die Hard

    ★★★★★

  • Captain America: Brave New World

    ★★½

  • Last Hurrah for Chivalry

    ★★★★

  • RoboCop

    ★★★★★

Recent reviews

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  • Die Hard

    Die Hard

    ★★★★★

    Seeing Bruce Willis and Reginald VelJohnson hug in the end is what it's all about.

  • Captain America: Brave New World

    Captain America: Brave New World

    ★★½

    It's fine, I guess. Not the worst movie, but we've seen these tropes before. Mind control technology, compromised government agencies, not so surprising cameos/returns, new elemental macguffins, "they're coming" end credits. I like Anthony Mackie, but he's been put in an incredibly difficult position as the new Captain America. Not even the Red Hulk could save this movie because who gives a shit about the Red Hulk if he's not fighting Green Hulk.

Popular reviews

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  • Last Hurrah for Chivalry

    Last Hurrah for Chivalry

    ★★★★

    My dad always said "better to trust a whore than a gentleman."

    Pops shoulda told you these hoes don't wanna be saved. You can't buy chivalry. Ko Pang discovers this firsthand when he buys and marries a brothel maiden, only for her to betray him for a bigger payday. He loses his bride, his home, and his father. Pang is set for revenge... Or is it ambition he's after? Whichever it is, he'll do whatever it takes and that means…

  • Twin Peaks

    Twin Peaks

    "Who's the lady with the log?"
    "We call her Log Lady."

    Not sure if this is the right place to do it, but screw it.

    Just broke in my new bluray player, and the honor of the first test run went to the pilot episode of TWIN PEAKS. And as expected, I'm hooked and deeply intrigued. Dale Cooper is just as goofy as Kyle Maclachlan is. What a guy. This boxset is insane. There's like 10+ disc's with tons of…