Favorite films

Recent reviews

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  Sonic the Hedgehog 3 2024

  ★★★½ Watched 07 Jan 2025

  now THIS is camp

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  The Substance 2024

  ★½ Watched 31 Oct 2024

  this is like that youtube student film from like 13 years ago where the girl discovers she can sculpt her face while waiting for her date to arrive but instead of 9 minutes it drags on for 2 and a half hours. its entire aesthetic identity is comprised of post-rudnick/joyce mechanically stretched typography like you would see in a spotify ad for a vague financial services startup targeted at millennials called Dough. and loud BRRRRMP reese bass stab [EDIT: i know this was the point but blehhhhh]. i cannot believe this received a standing ovation at cannes.

Popular reviews

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  River of Fundament 2014

  ★★★★★ Watched 23 May 2020 2

  There's a hypnotic allure to the sheer self-indulgence of Matthew Barney's work, some of the most effective of which (viz.: this thing)—I think—succeeds in instilling into its target audience a sort of dread and primal fear which even Norman Mailer himself (seemingly an object of simultaneous idolization and vilification by Barney here, as well as the central focus of the film across a continuum of incarnations and no stranger to potent syntax) would have had difficulty conveying through language. [EDITOR'S…

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  What the #$*! Do We (K)now!? 2004

  ★★★★½ Watched 07 Sep 2023

  this is one of the funniest movies i have ever seen and you are all watching it incorrectly. simultaneously completely stupid and aesthetically impenetrable (the cinematography is good, there's a consistent recurrence of this computer graphics hellscape that lies somewhere near the epicenter of a 3-way intersection conjoining 45-minute pbs documentary, cube 2 ending, and frutiger aero which serves as an intermediary between the story and interview segments, and overall the production just feels like it was made by people…